Question for the ladies

[DismaiNaim]

Ok so here's the situation. MC and his friend have arrived at the foreign city and walk around, seeing the sights. What they see [but can't process because of their patriarchal upbringing]
is that women are in control. They get catcalled and everything, and they don't know how to feel about that.

I'm coming a scene where they get approached by two pick-up artists, and I'm brainstorming how to approach this. I'm working with 'approach -> evaluate -> dismiss' with clear transactional and objectifying behavior like uninvited touch and searing eye contact, that sort of thing.

Is there anything specific I can add to make it clear to the audience that this is what's going on?

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Is this first or third person?
In first person, you can have the MC literally think that. "So this is how it feels when I do this to girls? Ick!" type stuff.
If in third person, just emphasize how the situation went from the boys thinking "Hey, this is cool" to "this is kind of uncomfortable," to "maybe we need to get out of here," in their thoughts.
You should definitely have the pick-up artists use "cute" nicknames ("sweet-cheeks". "Mister abs," "blondie") that quickly get annoying, and have them compliment the "targets," and make sleazy double-entendres, either winking at their target or each other as they do.

 

[Eldoria]

Why does this scene normalize women as temptresses?! Sorry, I dislike it. I dislike women's dignity being degraded like it.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Why does this scene normalize women as temptresses?! Sorry, I dislike it. I dislike women's dignity being degraded like it.

I think it's reversing the "construction workers hit on passing women" thing by reversing the genders - unless the MC and friend are also women, then it's just "gay women are dudes in drag"...

Either way, I should not have replied, I suspect, as I am not a lady (though I did play one at the Living Death Interactive back in '99)... but I think the OP is asking for the sleazy stuff guys do to pick up chicks, only being done by the women.

 

[DismaiNaim]

Why does this scene normalize women as temptresses?! Sorry, I dislike it. I dislike women's dignity being degraded like it.

It's a role-reversal situation that MC isn't aware of

I think it's reversing the "construction workers hit on passing women" thing by reversing the genders - unless the MC and friend are also women, then it's just "gay women are dudes in drag"...

Either way, I should not have replied, I suspect, as I am not a lady (though I did play one at the Living Death Interactive back in '99)... but I think the OP is asking for the sleazy stuff guys do to pick up chicks, only being done by the women.

That's exactly what I'm looking for

 

[pangmida]

Very interesting concept! So a man from a patriarchal society unknowingly walked into a matriarchal society? Did I get that right?

Depending on how complete of a role-reversal this is, the easiest way you could go about writing the pickup artists is write them exactly as a man, with the cat-calling, the degrading, maybe body-blocking them so they can't go away, then change the pronouns to she/her. The point is to make the woman (or, in your case, the man) feel threatened for their safety, scared to even make a noise. Plenty of YouTube videos will show you live footage of these harassment cases. You can also ask any woman in your real life for their experiences.

One of my favorite books on SH does a fantastic example of this role-reversal. Go to chapter 34 for the harassment/objectifying scene:

Consorts of the Court

(A REVERSE WORLD STORY) In a world where women rule and men serve, Princess Moriya was born to conquer—not just lands, but hearts. Raised in the grandeur of Dyss, the most powerful Queendom on the continent, Moriya is destined to become Queen. But power in a matriarchal empire doesn't...

www.scribblehub.com

But if you're looking at it like a realistic woman from our current era actively reversing the role to harass the MC, you can look up stories of the "nice girls" (analogous to "nice guys"), especially in bar settings. Surrounding the MC, tracing their fingers on his muscles, batting their eyelashes, just trying to get as physically close as possible. Then get mad and call the MC homophobic and emasculating names when/if he rejects them. YouTube and Reddit will both have stories of these haha.

 

[LeilaniOtter]

First off, why are the women picking them up?
We don't really go trolling for someone; we wait to be approached or chased down. If women are control...why would they have to hunt?
You're going to have to explain this world's origins and how it got to this point, because that just seems a little off to me. ?

 

[RepresentingPride]

First off, why are the women picking them up?
We don't really go trolling for someone; we wait to be approached or chased down. If women are control...why would they have to hunt?
You're going to have to explain this world's origins and how it got to this point, because that just seems a little off to me. ?

It's a reversal world. Look ours, men are in control but we are the one to chase.
So if you reverse it, women do the chase, and instead of using makeup, it's men who use it, etc for everything.

 

[Hush25]

Why does this scene normalize women as temptresses?! Sorry, I dislike it. I dislike women's dignity being degraded like it.

@DismaiNaim I agree with the above. I think it would be nice to see a matriarchal society that challenges the patriarchy without a simple reversal of roles - for a man coming from patriarchy, this reversal alone would be shocking enough. IMHO, this would be super interesting. Also, as a woman and a feminist* I don't desire to see men (or anyone) put in the same situation women have often experienced.

Having said that, @CharlesEBrown and @pangmida have also given excellent advice.

*To me, feminism is about working to ensure everyone has a voice. Not a backlash against patriarchy.

 

[LeilaniOtter]

It's a reversal world. Look ours, men are in control but we are the one to chase.
So if you reverse it, women do the chase, and instead of using makeup, it's men who use it, etc for everything.

Ohhhh, okay.
But again, why chase? *^^* Wouldn't the women have a stable of strapping men already if they control the world? I guess i don't follow exactly how the women "control" the world. My contention is, if you control the world, then you have want of nothing - you already have it readily available. ?

 

[RepresentingPride]

Ohhhh, okay.
But again, why chase? *^^* Wouldn't the women have a stable of strapping men already if they control the world? I guess i don't follow exactly how the women "control" the world. My contention is, if you control the world, then you have want of nothing - you already have it readily available. ?

Women are in control, but that doesn't mean all women control the world together, there different class, like our world, men are in control but there different class; Here the chase.

 

[Rezcore]

Why does this scene normalize women as temptresses?! Sorry, I dislike it. I dislike women's dignity being degraded like it.

Yep... but then Onlyfans. I figure it's a reverse values setting the dude is speaking of