Corty
Ra’Coon
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2022
- Messages
- 4,659
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- 183
Preface
With the many requests I see being made, posting new threads about, from users to review their snippets, their stories, their writings, and many others complaining when it's pointed out that AI usage was suspected in creating those "stories," I had enough.
I will show you here how AI works, so all those of you who hooting and tooting that AI this, AI that, it's not bad, my book is not AI, etc, get your masks ripped off. If you go through this thread, you will start recognizing AI patterns, and maybe, just maybe, you will start hearing the telephone ringing... It's time to wake up, Neo.
Also, go ahead, leave a comment to influence a story, lets see how well can the AI keep up the cohesion of the story, before it starts forgetting the concept and the promise of the story.
PS:
Every generated chapter will come as is, no edits, nothing, I prompt the clanka, and copy its work. Then, I am giving it to your trusted AI detectors to put more salt into your wound. Check at each chapter's end, how your detectors fare!
The Ballad of Peepoo
Prologue — The Worst Possible Wizard
Prologue — The Worst Possible Wizard
I died because of a discount notification.
In my defense, it was a really good discount.
Seventy percent off instant noodles doesn’t happen every day, and I had exactly six coins in my bank account and the long-term survival instincts of a damp sponge. So yes — when my phone buzzed while I was crossing the street, I looked down.
Big mistake.
Actually, my life was kind of a long series of those.
The message filled my screen in aggressive, flashing red.
FLASH SALE — 70% OFF — LIMITED STOCK —
I squinted at it.
…Flahs Sale?
No, wait. Flash. Flash sale.
See, the thing about me is that letters have never behaved properly. They slide around. Flip. Swap places like they’re playing musical chairs when I’m not looking. Teachers used to call it “a learning difficulty.”
I called it daily betrayal by the alphabet.
Anyway.
I was halfway across the pedestrian crossing, mentally calculating how many noodle packs I could stretch across two weeks, when the world suddenly got very, very loud.
You know how in movies there’s always that dramatic tire screech?
Yeah.
It turns out real life doesn’t bother with cinematic timing. It was just—
HONK—
I looked up.
And there it was.
A truck.
Not even a cool truck. Not a sleek futuristic one. Just a big, boxy delivery truck that looked like it had strong opinions about speed limits and absolutely no interest in stopping.
Time did that weird slow-motion thing.
Which is incredibly rude, by the way.
If I’m about to die, I’d prefer the universe not give me extra time to think about it.
My brain, being deeply unhelpful, produced exactly three thoughts:
- Wow, that’s close.
- I never got the noodles.
- …Is this one of those isekai moments?
When I opened my eyes again, the first thing I noticed was that the ceiling was wrong.
For one, my apartment ceiling had a water stain shaped like Australia.
This one had… chandeliers.
Plural.
I blinked.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Because historically, blinking has not improved my situations.
The room came into focus piece by piece.
Stone walls.
Tall arched windows.
Shelves.
So many shelves.
Every single one packed with books.
Old books.
Dusty books.
Important-looking books.
My stomach dropped.
“Oh no,” I whispered.
Because listen — being reincarnated into a fantasy world is great and all.
Being reincarnated into a library?
That’s a personal attack.
I pushed myself upright and immediately noticed two things.
First: I was much smaller than before.
Second: I was wearing robes.
Long, flowing, suspiciously wizard-shaped robes.
“…Oh no,” I said again, with feeling.
Before I could properly spiral, the door creaked open.
In walked an old man who looked exactly like what would happen if you asked someone to draw “wizard mentor” from memory.
Long beard.
Pointy hat.
Robes that probably had their own tax bracket.
He stopped when he saw me sitting up.
His bushy eyebrows shot toward the ceiling.
“Oh! You’re awake!” he boomed.
I flinched.
Not because of the volume.
Because of the expectation.
That tone — that hopeful, mentor-y tone — had never once led to anything good in my life.
He hurried over, robes swishing dramatically like they were unionized.
“You gave us quite the scare, young Peepoo.”
I froze.
“…I’m sorry,” I said slowly. “Young… what?”
“Peepoo,” he repeated warmly.
I stared at him.
He smiled back.
Completely serious.
Oh.
Oh no.
That was my name now.
I buried my face in my hands for a solid five seconds.
When I finally looked back up, the old wizard was still smiling patiently, like he had no idea he had just emotionally drop-kicked me.
“Right,” I said weakly. “Of course. That makes sense. Carry on.”
Inside, my soul was filing for divorce.
He clasped his hands behind his back.
“Now then! Since you’ve recovered, we can finally proceed with your first lesson.”
Every survival instinct I possessed — which, to be clear, was not many — began screaming.
“…Lesson?” I echoed.
“Yes!” His eyes sparkled. “Your magical initiation, of course!”
And there it was.
The moment my new life officially began to go terribly, horribly wrong.
Because see.
Magic?
Requires reading.
And I…
…do not have a strong track record with that.
He bustled over to a nearby pedestal and lifted a thick, ancient-looking book. The cover shimmered faintly, etched with glowing runes that immediately started rearranging themselves the second I looked directly at them.
My eye twitched.
Oh good.
Even the magic letters were freelancing.
He placed the book gently into my hands.
It was heavier than my self-esteem.
“This,” he said proudly, “is your beginner’s grimoire.”
I stared down at the page.
The symbols swam.
Shifted.
Danced.
One of them definitely just rotated ninety degrees out of spite.
My palms started sweating.
This was bad.
This was very bad.
“Go on,” the old wizard encouraged kindly. “Try the first spell. Just read the incantation aloud.”
Just read it aloud.
Just.
Read.
It.
Aloud.
My brain, traitor that it is, chose that exact moment to remember every single time I had misread something in my previous life.
The time I ordered soap-flavored yogurt.
The time I showed up to the wrong classroom for three weeks straight.
The time I confidently emailed my boss “Warm retards” instead of “Warm regards.”
History was not on my side.
Still.
New life.
Fresh start.
Maybe the alphabet had finally decided to behave.
I took a deep breath.
Leaned closer to the page.
And read the first spell.
“…Furball,” I said.
There was a pause.
A very small pause.
Then the universe exploded.
With cats.
Angry ones.
They burst into existence midair like the world’s fluffiest artillery strike.
One landed on my head.
Three hit the bookshelf.
Something very large and extremely offended materialized directly in the old wizard’s beard.
For a long, terrible moment, the room was filled with nothing but hissing, yowling, and the distant sound of my dignity leaving my body.
The old wizard stared.
I stared back.
A cat slowly slid down my face.
“…I,” I said faintly, “may have misread something.”
The old wizard’s eye twitched.
Just once.
Very small.
Very controlled.
In the distance, another cat fell out of thin air.
And that…
That was the exact moment I realized something important about my new magical career.
I was going to be the worst wizard this world had ever seen.
And somehow—
Somehow—
I had a feeling things were only going to get worse.
Everyone who uses — is sus.