Pepe: The Cowfrog

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Pepe: The Cowfrog (A Short Story)
​
Narrator: The sun blazed a summer heat in the middle of the desert town. It was finally time for a western showdown. The people watched from the edge of the saloon, and the local sheriff simply tilted his hat. Two rough riders stood opposite each other on the dirt road. One was an internet troll, and the other was known far and wide as Pepe, The Cowfrog.

Pepe: I reckon you weren't to yella belly after all. I thought all yer kind were cowards....

Townsperson 1: It's really him! The rough ridin' meme shootin' killa. I heard he could shoot the wings off a fly from 50 yards with his meme iron...

Townsperson 2: look at the other fella... I heard he came outta nowhere. Rumor is 'e ain't lost a battle of words with his replies! Ain't that the one they call Ratio Bill?

Ratio Bill: It has been quite some time, Pepe. My boys called you out to settle the score. It's time to end this rodeo. You had your glory, and now you will be a dead meme.

Narrator: No more words were spoken as the church bell rang: high noon. The instant it did Ratio Bill couldn't respond fast enough to the meme iron on Pepe's hip. He was defeated faster than it took ol' Uganda Knuckles to die out. The ratio man was no more. Now he lay in a pool of his own blood. Pepe simply took a drag of his cigar with one last sentence spoken.

Pepe: Ya cain't challenge the greatest frog in the west.
 
AnonUnlimited

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Narrator: A year later when the winds blew more outside and the sun didn’t come up as much Pepe kept his town safe. He watched the ranchers tend to their cattle and the writers try to make it big out in the west.

Unfortunately for Pepe, a new troll came, a troll with a famous name: Anon2023.

The troll strolled into town, saw Pepe who was on guard against him.

Anon2023: Hey Sailus! It’s you, been looking all over for you!

Pepe was confused at this yellow bellied troll who called him a name he didn’t know. Being the good sheriff he was, he corrected the young man.

Pepe: The name’s Pepe, I don’t reckon I know who Sailus is.

Anon2023: I see, wrong town then. Can you point me to the next town? I’m looking for him. Got me a score to settle.

Pepe didn’t like the looks of this person who strolled into his town in the middle of the windy season. He tipped his hat, turned and pointed.

Pepe: It’s that—

Pepe’s head rolled on the floor.

Anon2023: Never take a gun to a sword fight you stupid frog! Ahahaha!

Narrator: And, that was the end of Pepe the Cow Frog.
 
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Anon2023 said:
Narrator: A year later when the winds blew more outside and the sun didn’t come up as much Pepe kept his town safe. He watched the ranchers tend to their cattle and the writers try to make it big out in the west.

Unfortunately for Pepe, a new troll came, a troll with a famous name: Anon2023.

The troll strolled into town, saw Pepe who was on guard against him.

Anon2023: Hey Sailus! It’s you, been looking all over for you!

Pepe was confused at this yellow bellied troll who called him a name he didn’t know. Being the good sheriff he was, he corrected the young man.

Pepe: The name’s Pepe, I don’t reckon I know who Sailus is.

Anon2023: I see, wrong town then. Can you point me to the next town? I’m looking for him. Got me a score to settle.

Pepe didn’t like the looks of this person who strolled into his town in the middle of the windy season. He tipped his hat, turned and pointed.

Pepe: It’s that—

Pepe’s head rolled on the floor.

Anon2023: Never take a gun to a sword fight you stupid frog! Ahahaha!

Narrator: And, that was the end of Pepe the Cow Frog.
Click to expand...
@SailusGebel I have just seen heresy committed! :blob_thor::blob_thor::blob_thor::blob_catflip::blob_catflip::blob_catflip:
 
RepresentingWrath

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Anon2023 said:
Narrator: A year later when the winds blew more outside and the sun didn’t come up as much Pepe kept his town safe. He watched the ranchers tend to their cattle and the writers try to make it big out in the west.

Unfortunately for Pepe, a new troll came, a troll with a famous name: Anon2023.

The troll strolled into town, saw Pepe who was on guard against him.

Anon2023: Hey Sailus! It’s you, been looking all over for you!

Pepe was confused at this yellow bellied troll who called him a name he didn’t know. Being the good sheriff he was, he corrected the young man.

Pepe: The name’s Pepe, I don’t reckon I know who Sailus is.

Anon2023: I see, wrong town then. Can you point me to the next town? I’m looking for him. Got me a score to settle.

Pepe didn’t like the looks of this person who strolled into his town in the middle of the windy season. He tipped his hat, turned and pointed.

Pepe: It’s that—

Pepe’s head rolled on the floor.

Anon2023: Never take a gun to a sword fight you stupid frog! Ahahaha!

Narrator: And, that was the end of Pepe the Cow Frog.
Click to expand...
Bruh, go get yourself a girlfriend or something. Maybe seek professional help from priestesses of love? I know it's pride month so you experience exacerbation of your symptoms, but this is too much. It's unhealthy.
 
melchi

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:blob_ghost:?

Thinks though if pepe has troll blood then bladed weapons would be ineffective.

Narrator 2: Though like most trolls, the end wasn't really the end for pepe.

Anon walks away and a tumbleweed rolls by.

Headless Pepe hops back to his feet, in a very frog-like matter.

Anon stops and looks back.

Pepe places his head back on and the troll blood does its work, the head attaching itself again. The cigar never feel from pepe's lips.

Pepe puffs on the cigar and breaths out a breath of smoke in Anon's direction.

Pepe: The thing about trolls, you gotta kill them with fire.

The frog-cowbow draws a weapon from another holster and pulls the trigger. A liquid with a strong solvent smell shoots out and covers anon.

Anon raises his blade and charges back at pepe.

Pepe flicks the cigar at the enraged troll who can't dodge it in time. When the embers of the cigar contact the drenched troll his entire body ignites.

Anon falls to his knees, dropping his weapon as his body becomes a pillar of flames.

Pepe: Ya cain't challenge the greatest frog in the west.
 
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I actually decided to rewatch Rango and I found an answer to a thread a while back about how to say someone was lying to themselves without saying it was a lie.
"Sinking deeper into the guacamole of his own deception"

EDIT: Also "Our new Sheriff has been playing the hero for so long he's actually starting to believe it" Similar to what I said about starting to believe one's own lies but doesn't mention the word. Pretty smart dialogue.
 
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melchi said:
:blob_ghost:?

Thinks though if pepe has troll blood then bladed weapons would be ineffective.

Narrator 2: Though like most trolls, the end wasn't really the end for pepe.

Anon walks away and a tumbleweed rolls by.

Headless Pepe hops back to his feet, in a very frog-like matter.

Anon stops and looks back.

Pepe places his head back on and the troll blood does its work, the head attaching itself again. The cigar never feel from pepe's lips.

Pepe puffs on the cigar and breaths out a breath of smoke in Anon's direction.

Pepe: The thing about trolls, you gotta kill them with fire.

The frog-cowbow draws a weapon from another holster and pulls the trigger. A liquid with a strong solvent smell shoots out and covers anon.

Anon raises his blade and charges back at pepe.

Pepe flicks the cigar at the enraged troll who can't dodge it in time. When the embers of the cigar contact the drenched troll his entire body ignites.

Anon falls to his knees, dropping his weapon as his body becomes a pillar of flames.

Pepe: Ya cain't challenge the greatest frog in the west.
Click to expand...
Yay! Pepe revenge!

Pepe: Ya cain't challenge the greatest frog in the west.
 
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