Opinions on my Magic System

[ElderGodYoruba]

So this is for an urban fantasy story I've been working on and I use two Hard Magic Systems to enforce the magic of the world. Any feedback is appreciated as the story's basis is akin to Harry Potter meets Lovecraft with a semi futuristic setting.

OCCULTECH

Fringe science

Commonly known as Fringe Science the once derogatory name has come to encapsulate the border of science that researches and works to utilize the occult world as Cryptozoology, Esper research, and Phantom based examinations along with much more. Many new age devices utilizing Aether energy were developed by Fringe Scientists with their advancements paving the way for the future with the greatest of these being Wycantax.

Wycantax

Wycantax also known as Wiccan Text is a special 30 character coding series that encapsulates 98% of all possible spells and rituals. Used in computers and devices to break down complex rites Wycantax is used in the creation of Aether Apps and Aether Engines. However due to extensive research the number of Aether Apps available is 3% of the possible spells that could be available.

Outer science

This is regarded as a well guarded secret and known by only a select few groups such as highly adept deep web cults and clandestine organizations. Outer science deals with the research and understanding of a realm known as the Ley that seems to connect realms beyond time and space. Here several entities of interest or EOI’s have been found and are seen as threats to humanity. Groups such as Insmarsh inc, and Cascus high are well known to be research hubs for outer science also causing them to be direct line of contact when an experiment goes wrong.

ESPERS

Those born with an innate connection with the Ley develop unique psychic powers that typically develop overtime. The acceptance of espers is rather mixed however many see them as lucky to be blessed with such gifts however its rare for them to reach their full potential. This is in part due to the massive cost of esper based research and equipment causing many espers to be stunted leaving only the wealthy and lucky to be blessed with such opportunities.

Espa- The Extra Sensory Perception Assestment

A test used to establish ones Afinity rank

Afinity Ranks:

Low- are those with the ability to see and communicate with remnants (ghosts) and stands as the most basic ability held by espers and usually evolves into a greater ability at the age of 9 or 10

Mid- are those with roots in the mental lens. These people are known to have extra sensory perception powers and abilities relevant exclusively to the mind. Affecting mainly the mentality of other creatures. A common sign that a rank II is using their powers is the distinct hum of static or a high pitched ringing sensation.

• Telepathy
• Remote viewing
• Clairvoiance
• Etc.

High- are those with roots in the physical lens. These people are have the ability to physically alter the world through their powers creating visual results. Standing as some of the most important and dangerous of the espers many believe they are the height of evolution causing major disparities and prejudice between average people and espers.

• Aportation
• Teleportation
• Elemental- pyro, cryo, hydro, aero
• Levitation
• Etc.

Extra Planar Esper or EPE- are those with deep roots in the Ley. These people are rare as for this to occur one would either have to be marked by an extra planar entity or infact be the decendent or spawn of an extraplanar entity. Those of this type can drastically affect other extraplanar beings while their powers may appear average in the common realm. A running theory has many assuming that Extra Planar Espers are infact the key to bringing or banishing extraplanar entities making them powerful tools and deadly threats.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Nerd boner!

 

[Kilolo]

unrelatable, confusing, and unnecessarily complex. thus making it doesn't feels worth to read/follow.

why can't people just try to keep things to be at least looking simple, seriously.

if you want to make it complex, at least do it on the end product, not the base system. what you do will only just scaring people away with your hard to remember term.

 

[Zirrboy]

Do mention if I have misinterpreted anything.

There are two sources of "magic": Aether and the Ley Realms.
The former can be used with script. It's impersonal and can be invoked by anything that knows the arrangement for a particular spell.
The latter is governed by lovecraftian great ones, leveraged with unspecified experiments as well as espers.

Espers themselves have four levels of strength. 1-3 can be grown with age and resources

1. Seeing ghosts
2. Superhuman perception
3. An ability to affect their surroundings
4. Chosen underdog

Everything else doesn't really seem like part of the magic system, just related worldbuilding.

Magic scientists that deal with its natural occurrences and research means of utilization.
For Aether, they developed/adopted Wycantax, a set of 30 letters that can express the large majority of possible spells in theory, even if but a fraction is known in practice.
Ley is kept mostly secret with only a select few organizations being devoted to its exploration.

This is still a lot simplified, but I agree with @Kilolo in that your overview is cluttered. Arbitrary numbers and new terms seemingly for the sake of it don't improve my experience.
On the bright side: if you reduce the name dropping, this looks relatively easy to pull off as gradual introduction in a story.

 

[BearlyAlive]

Now you only need to fuse a choose-your-own-adventure srory with a D&D rulebook and use math formulas to de-explain everything and you're half a step into serious science fiction

 

[TheEldritchGod]

What is its narrative function?
How does this magic system push the plot?

My magic system starts with a method to show relative power levels. MC is stronger than most, but weaker than the BBG. How? Soul power.

What magic does everyone have? Elves have familiars. Monsters have demonic hearts. Humans have elemental and/or aura cores. Dwarves have no magic core but extensively heavy mana channels. Each method of magic has general guidelines and uses that reflect the cultural an socio-political realities of the user. Humans are divided into Commoners, Aura/users/low nobility, Elemental Conjurors/High nobility. Dwarves are divided into commoners and Master Smiths. Elves have no real social striation because everyone has magic, so it's a true meritocracy. Dragons are from "outside" the world, so they have their own rules. Monsters are Might Makes Right and whoever has the biggest dick is in charge.

I can read your system, but I can't see how it affects anything.

What is the society it is based on? What changed?

SO, you got ghosts. DO they vote? Are they still citizens of the country they are in?

You have Espers. Can they read minds? Is this a violation of the fifth amendment? Are they a secret cabal? Out in the open?
How was all this discovered? Who made your first occult programing language? Why only 98% of all spells? Can I make cheddar cheese appear in my fridge? Can I create water out of thin air? How does the economy work? Are we on a gold standard if Gold can be made out of lead? How about a magic standard? Or a faith standard?