One-liners

[Hoshino]

You may do your worst-test.

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

I love the smell of well done in the morning.

 

[ArchlordZero]

You still look like one of those goons who drop common loot when killed.

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

May I become a fruit so I can be your date?

 

[JayMark]

Carpenters like you can make my banana stand any time.

 

[Jailbreak571]

Idk bro, I just got here

 

[kn1is7otaku]

I'm gonna make you misery sr.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Booty asshole!

 

[MasterY001]

I'm gonna smack you so hard, your brains come outta your ass.

 

[BearlyAlive]

You may feel yourself told to go fornicate lonesome.

 

[Kigol]

"lets count up your sins"

"is their a candle on your back cuz i really wanna blow it out"

 

[Tempokai]

Creation is divine, but persuasion is survival.

Genius at 6, prodigy by 12, ordinary human by 18.

The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

One of the few I've got that works out of context:

If I had a nickel for every time someone said that, I could pay you to just go away
Edit: As an aside, the chapter that's from went up last night

 

[MasterY001]

One of the few I've got that works out of context:

If I had a nickel for every time someone said that, I could pay you to just go away

This one is actually really good! Mind if I use it sometime?

 

[CharlesEBrown]

This one is actually really good! Mind if I use it sometime?

Not at all - feel free.

 

[Deleted member 192073]

Can I put my dough inside your crust?

 

[Alski]

Can I put my dough inside your crust?

No, but you can put cheese in it.

 

[Lysander_Works]

"You're just jealous cause you don't have meat between these buns!"

 

[Gray_Mann]

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.

Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.

I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… But the kids still get in.

The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it’s still on the list.

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.

Communist jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is goodbye.

My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. We’ll see about that.

I can tell when people are being judgmental just by looking at them.

The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the workday seem longer.

I think it's pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.

I have clean conscience. I haven’t used it once until now.

 

[Frost_Lord58]

Can I put my dough inside your crust?

You don't put dough inside a crust though... The crust is already dough... I can fill it with some special sauce if you want though.