Oh snap

[Deleted member 68927]

My horoscope has been pretty spot on lately. And today in it was written that diplomacy will be of the utmost importance today.

And I am like:

You mean bullshitting, right? I can do bullshitting!

Just for fun, (I read my horoscope just for laughs) what is written in your horoscope?

 

[ElijahRyne]

My horoscope has been pretty spot on lately. And today in it was written that diplomacy will be of the utmost importance today.

And I am like:

You mean bullshitting, right? I can do bullshitting!

Just for fun, (I read my horoscope just for laughs) what is written in your horoscope?

To preface this, I am practically a hermit who only leaves his house for work.

Spoiler: Leo

Ready for a sweet romance? Today, the stars are sprinkling an extra helping of fairy dust into your experience, Leo. If you're single, you might find yourself attracted towards a certain somebody who appreciates your zest for life and shares your sense of adventure. Don't be shy about expressing your true feelings—your openness could lead to a beautiful new beginning. For those who are already coupled, this is the perfect time to rekindle your spark. Plan a surprise date night, write a heartfelt note, or simply spend quality time together. Overheard at the cosmic conference: small gestures can go a long way, beautiful!

Cosmic tip: You’re in the mood to love and be loved.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

I just looked it up for funsies.

Spoiler: Horoscope

Today should be a "no holds barred" day as you strategize your next career move, Gemini. If you were in the army, you'd be a five-star general by now - your tactical sense is that good. Unfortunately, your office isn't handing out stars. You'll have to be satisfied with a raise and promotion - the least they can offer after all your hard work. If no such offer is forthcoming, go and ask for it!

I don't work in an office.

 

[2wordsperminute]

I don't work in an office.

That's such a Gemini thing to say.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

That's such a Gemini thing to say.

I pulled a Tarot card for my past life. I was an Egyptian Ruler. That's impossible because I was still alive then! ?‍

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

I won't read horoscopes. ?

 

[RepresentingDesire]

Today, Pisces, forget socializing, working, and answering the phone. Stay home and cuddle in a blanket by the fire. Get out your old yearbooks or photo albums and have fun reflecting on good times from your past. Enjoy being quiet and still. Listen to the ticking of the clock and the wind outside. Measure time by the shadows moving across the room. Give yourself this day of meditation.

That's basically my entire life.

 

[LuoirM]

Today, your love life is creative and there is no major hiccup. Professional responsibilities will make you stronger but financially you should be careful.

I don't love, I don't aim to work, I don't have money

Nice

 

[Deleted member 76176]

Spoiler: Aries

Aries, instead of digging deep into the barrel looking only for the misshapen, bruised, and rotten apples, concentrate on bringing up the shiny, bright red ones. This way you'll bring laughter and smiles to the company around you rather than miserable frowns. Whatever you bring to the surface will be distributed far and wide, so make sure you reach for the good times instead of the sour ones.

 

[TheKillingAlice]

Found this one.

Spoiler: Virgo

Put in effort to keep the love life going. Ensure you handle every professional assignment with confidence. Financially you are prosperous to invest in stock. Romantically, you will be fortunate today. Professionalism ensures success at the office. Both wealth and health are good today.

Context: I'm asexual and aromantic. Also, I'm broke, have a runny nose and started at my new company on monday, so I won't get paid anytime soon.

 

[Deleted member 68927]

Spoiler: Aries

Aries, instead of digging deep into the barrel looking only for the misshapen, bruised, and rotten apples, concentrate on bringing up the shiny, bright red ones. This way you'll bring laughter and smiles to the company around you rather than miserable frowns. Whatever you bring to the surface will be distributed far and wide, so make sure you reach for the good times instead of the sour ones.

All your horoscopes are so fancy, and I got something that can be summerised in: Buckle up, Pen Monkey! If you don't put your foot in your mouth today, thing will begin to look up!

I wish you will find those red apples!

Found this one.

Spoiler: Virgo

Put in effort to keep the love life going. Ensure you handle every professional assignment with confidence. Financially you are prosperous to invest in stock. Romantically, you will be fortunate today. Professionalism ensures success at the office. Both wealth and health are good today.

Context: I'm asexual and aromantic. Also, I'm broke, have a runny nose and started at my new company on monday, so I won't get paid anytime soon.

Well, chin up! As long as you have a job, things will look up!

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Well, I was born under [sound of a bagpipe filled up with yak vomit and broken glass playing the chorus to In A Gadda Da Vida] Let's check it out.

Spoiler: My Horrorscope

The stars have not aligned. Not a good day to devour. Best to stay inside and watch Netflix. Maybe catch up on that novel you keep telling your wife you are writing when you are actually napping.

O.O
Scary accurate.

 

[Alyxx]

What does this suppoose to meann
This is likely to be a day geared to fulfilling the needs of family. Lesser persons would resent the obligation, but not you, Libra. You have a nurturing spirit. As long as you feel appreciated, you're happy to go the extra mile (or two). You can expect to feel loved by those around you. You have a willing, giving nature, and it shows in your aura like a beacon for all to see.

Someone appreciate my existence pls

 

[Corty]

For all the other cancers on this earth:

Apr 18, 2024 - Get out in the fresh air today in whatever way suits your fancy, Cancer. It's important to exercise your body with some brisk physical activity or at least refresh your spirit with a ride in a convertible. This is a terrific time for you. You feel alive and joyous about your life. Join others to recognize all that you have and give thanks for your meal tonight.

Okay, step 1:

Steal a convertible.

BRB.

 

[ArcadiaBlade]

Spoiler: Horoscope

This is going to be one of those days when you get annoyed if someone takes too long to make up his or her mind about something, Virgo. You aren't going to have the patience to abide anyone who continues to go over every single detail of an issue. You're more likely to want to simply make a decision, for better or worse.

Welp, now I'm not gonna hesitate anymore.*Grabs Rope and chair*






Joking. My brain is basically fried after reading too many MTL fanfics lately that I'm just gonna start writing a new novel(hoping I don't plan on dropping this one). Since I'm indecisive and told me to simply be more direct, I better start working then.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

For all the other cancers on this earth:

Apr 18, 2024 - Get out in the fresh air today in whatever way suits your fancy, Cancer. It's important to exercise your body with some brisk physical activity or at least refresh your spirit with a ride in a convertible. This is a terrific time for you. You feel alive and joyous about your life. Join others to recognize all that you have and give thanks for your meal tonight.

Okay, step 1:

Steal a convertible.

BRB.

Touch grass.

 

[Corty]

Touch grass.

Flipped the convertible on a meadow. Mission accomplished.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Flipped the convertible on a meadow. Mission accomplished.

I give you a rolling applause ?

 

[Deleted member 68927]

Well, I was born under [sound of a bagpipe filled up with yak vomit and broken glass playing the chorus to In A Gadda Da Vida] Let's check it out.

Spoiler: My Horrorscope

The stars have not aligned. Not a good day to devour. Best to stay inside and watch Netflix. Maybe catch up on that novel you keep telling your wife you are writing when you are actually napping.

O.O
Scary accurate.

I'd give you a laughing reaction, but I am on mobile.

What does this suppoose to meann
This is likely to be a day geared to fulfilling the needs of family. Lesser persons would resent the obligation, but not you, Libra. You have a nurturing spirit. As long as you feel appreciated, you're happy to go the extra mile (or two). You can expect to feel loved by those around you. You have a willing, giving nature, and it shows in your aura like a beacon for all to see.

Someone appreciate my existence pls

You rock!

 

[Deleted member 84247]

I'd give you a laughing reaction, but I am on mobile.



You rock!

You can laugh react on mobile. Just hold the like button for a bit.