New writer looking for some feedback

[miralunem]

Hello everyone. I started writing my first novel ever, but I don't dare to let anyone read it in real life, so I came here to beg strangers Please keep in mind that it's a BL, Omegaverse novel (no smut), so yeah, there's that. Anyway, a big thank you to anyone willing to give me a bit of their time. Here we go:

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1882130/lines-that-werent-written-for-me/

 

[DismaiNaim]

Give me a few days to look at it

 

[unlaumy]

Just a short comment:
I like your vocabulary. Personally, the pacing is too slow, but I understand that it's a slice of life, and it's BL (I don't even read BL lol), so don't mind this.

It's not a detailed and long feedback as you hope, so my bad. But I just want to say that I enjoy the words and sentences you put into your work.

 

[miralunem]

Just a short comment:
I like your vocabulary. Personally, the pacing is too slow, but I understand that it's a slice of life, and it's BL (I don't even read BL lol), so don't mind this.

It's not a detailed and long feedback as you hope, so my bad. But I just want to say that I enjoy the words and sentences you put into your work.

Hello! Thank you for your feedback, regardless! I was afraid it was too slow. I also tend to favour descriptions over dialogue (I don't know how to write that without thinking it sounds cringe ), but yeah, I'll try to introduce the plot in a more alert way. Thank you for your time!

 

[Macha]

Hello! Thank you for your feedback, regardless! I was afraid it was too slow. I also tend to favour descriptions over dialogue (I don't know how to write that without thinking it sounds cringe ), but yeah, I'll try to introduce the plot in a more alert way. Thank you for your time!

Pacing's alright. You aren't writing a genre demanding fast-paced actions so it shouldn't be an issue.

What you need to do is embrace the cringe. Cringe is like crimes and corruption. They are inevitable and can't be removed, only hidden or controlled. Such is the nature of humans.

Aim to lessen the cringe. If you focused too much on removing it completely you will end up with an empty page.

Pay attention to the rhythm of conversation. It’s also helpful to consider the context and character motivations. How would they really talk in that situation?

 

[Shadowless3]

I am also a new author could u give me some feedback too. This is my first time writing and I tried my best. I'd appreciate it if u could give an advice or something.

Beneath the Crown

Born of royal blood but raised in shadows, she lives among the streets. A bright, reckless spirit with a hidden past and a secret only her sister knows. Careless, curious, and untamed, she has no interest in kingdoms, crowns, or fate. A streetwise troublemaker with a secret past, she hides...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[miralunem]

Pacing's alright. You aren't writing a genre demanding fast-paced actions so it shouldn't be an issue.

What you need to do is embrace the cringe. Cringe is like crimes and corruption. They are inevitable and can't be removed, only hidden or controlled. Such is the nature of humans.

Aim to lessen the cringe. If you focused too much on removing it completely you will end up with an empty page.

Pay attention to the rhythm of conversation. It’s also helpful to consider the context and character motivations. How would they really talk in that situation?

Yes, that's very good advice. Maybe it becomes easier the longer you write (embracing the cringe part), or just maybe you get used to it as a natural part of life, like you said. Thank you very much for your kind message!