New to Scibblehub

[LordTrillium]

Hello all,

As I am currently new around these parts I thought it best to drop in and say hi.
I posted my first four chapters last night but I am slightly worried about how it will be perceived as I obviously know where the story is headed which excites me but readers don't have that knowledge.
If anyone does read it, it would be great to get some words of advice from some more experienced writers.

Echoes of Aetheria

In 'Echoes of Aetheria,' Lila, a woman with a blurry past, wakes up in the mysterious realm of Aetheria with zero memory of how she got there. Led by a voice in her head, she embarks on a risky journey to uncover the secrets of her lost memories and...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

...

 

[Representing_Tromba]

Welcome! I hope you have a great time here.

 

[Desustar]

i will read it, but that's all I can promise XD

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

Hello all,

As I am currently new around these parts I thought it best to drop in and say hi.
I posted my first four chapters last night but I am slightly worried about how it will be perceived as I obviously know where the story is headed which excites me but readers don't have that knowledge.
If anyone does read it, it would be great to get some words of advice from some more experienced writers.

Echoes of Aetheria

In 'Echoes of Aetheria,' Lila, a woman with a blurry past, wakes up in the mysterious realm of Aetheria with zero memory of how she got there. Led by a voice in her head, she embarks on a risky journey to uncover the secrets of her lost memories and...

www.scribblehub.com

Good afternoon! Or at least that is what it is for my time zone!
Welcome to ScribbleHub!
Have a hug!
I read the first couple chapters and the first half of the first chapter feels very rushed, which negatively affected how I read the next stuff, despite finding the writing and prose to be well written. It throws off the tone. It feels like it goes far too quickly, already setting up her goal, immediately pulling back the mystery of the place (where the readers are told about the mysteriousness of Aetheria and given a general idea of what the world is like, rather than finding out as we go along), and then rushing into the open. Then right after, it sounds like we have already embarked on a journey into an ethereal landscape that the reader wasn't able to experience, missing all that juicy getting-to-just-know-her stuff and now we start finding out about the System. The internal voice kind of tosses us off the deep end with each new piece of information in a kind of exposition-y manner and the reader barely gets any time for each thing to seek in.
Personally, I find Inventory to be a bit overused, unless they earn it over a long while, as treasure or the growth of their powers.

On a more positive note, it sounds cool, and I like the premise I observed. The imagery is enjoyable and the work for describing voices is well-done. I can definitely appreciate the amount of imagination you bring to the table through Lila's sight. Don't be afraid to space out certain things that are actually separate descriptions or points within the story so the reader can focus on each separate element rather than let it blur together. I have done that with my story more than a few times and my readers have pointed that out (in fact, I should probably go through my story one day and edit it for that). Each element deserves more focus via pacing better, because they are that enjoyable.
All in all, it gets a lot better after the first half, though I think there are a good amount of readers who will drop it before getting to the later stuff.

 

[LordTrillium]

Good afternoon! Or at least that is what it is for my time zone!
Welcome to ScribbleHub!
Have a hug!
I read the first couple chapters and the first half of the first chapter feels very rushed, which negatively affected how I read the next stuff, despite finding the writing and prose to be well written. It throws off the tone. It feels like it goes far too quickly, already setting up her goal, immediately pulling back the mystery of the place (where the readers are told about the mysteriousness of Aetheria and given a general idea of what the world is like, rather than finding out as we go along), and then rushing into the open. Then right after, it sounds like we have already embarked on a journey into an ethereal landscape that the reader wasn't able to experience, missing all that juicy getting-to-just-know-her stuff and now we start finding out about the System. The internal voice kind of tosses us off the deep end with each new piece of information in a kind of exposition-y manner and the reader barely gets any time for each thing to seek in.
Personally, I find Inventory to be a bit overused, unless they earn it over a long while, as treasure or the growth of their powers.

On a more positive note, it sounds cool, and I like the premise I observed. The imagery is enjoyable and the work for describing voices is well-done. I can definitely appreciate the amount of imagination you bring to the table through Lila's sight. Don't be afraid to space out certain things that are actually separate descriptions or points within the story so the reader can focus on each separate element rather than let it blur together. I have done that with my story more than a few times and my readers have pointed that out (in fact, I should probably go through my story one day and edit it for that). Each element deserves more focus via pacing better, because they are that enjoyable.
All in all, it gets a lot better after the first half, though I think there are a good amount of readers who will drop it before getting to the later stuff.

Wow, this is more advice than I was expecting thank you.
I do feel I rushed the start because I didn't want to bore the readers with the starter area to much but what you said makes lot of sense. I probably should have added more dialogue and more description of the place she was in.
I guess I need to remember that I know lot more about my story than my readers.
Thanks this really is helpful

 

[RepresentingCaution]

If anyone gives your story one star, send 'em to me!

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

Wow, this is more advice than I was expecting thank you.
I do feel I rushed the start because I didn't want to bore the readers with the starter area to much but what you said makes lot of sense. I probably should have added more dialogue and more description of the place she was in.
I guess I need to remember that I know lot more about my story than my readers.
Thanks this really is helpful

This sad puppet, so lacking in color, is quite delighted that it could help you!
Hope you have a great day!

 

[LordTrillium]

This sad puppet, so lacking in color, is quite delighted that it could help you!
Hope you have a great day!

Well this Lord plants hope you have a good day too!