Writing New guy here, and problems about my own story.

[Sylverius]

Uhh, so I just wanna get the "Hi I'm a new guy here" out of the way because I suck at making introductions.
Straight to the point, basically, I've created the story's beginning, to middle, of course no art because I also suck at digital art.
The main problems I've discovered were 2 in particular. One, is development. They've kept their personalities, and only the protagonist got to develop mentally and emotionally throughout the years. The second problem was the emotions. The only emotion that I have is from the protagonist again. The side characters felt... Stale. They were empty, and felt dispensable. They didn't feel like the protagonist's friend at all, and I don't want that. Everyone except the protagonist felt robotic, that's why I need help. My friend referred me to this site because I've been stuck on notepad. If anyone can tell me any tips, I highly appreciate it.

 

[Deleted member 29316]

Uhh, so I just wanna get the "Hi I'm a new guy here" out of the way because I suck at making introductions.
Straight to the point, basically, I've created the story's beginning, to middle, of course no art because I also suck at digital art.
The main problems I've discovered were 2 in particular. One, is development. They've kept their personalities, and only the protagonist got to develop mentally and emotionally throughout the years. The second problem was the emotions. The only emotion that I have is from the protagonist again. The side characters felt... Stale. They were empty, and felt dispensable. They didn't feel like the protagonist's friend at all, and I don't want that. Everyone except the protagonist felt robotic, that's why I need help. My friend referred me to this site because I've been stuck on notepad. If anyone can tell me any tips, I highly appreciate it.

One of the ways to give 'personality' to your characters is to observe other real people, especially the ones who are close to you.

Also, give them motivations and goals, aside from helping or being of use to the main character. Then align their personality with their goals.

Planning could help you smoothen out your characters and their relationships with one another.

 

[EternalSunset0]

Welcome to Scribblehub. Hope you enjoy your time here. Still kinda starting out on the writing thing myself, but I'll try to help.

I think that it would be helpful to keep individual character sheets on your characters. Outlines are your best friend, and try to vaguely plot out their (the side characters) development paths. I think that asking yourself "What do I want this character to become?" can help you a bit. Jot down key moments and highlights that you want those side characters to do, and try to connect the dots.

Do not be afraid to put the spotlight away from your protagonist every now and then and turn one of your side characters into the main character, literally or not, for a period of time. Give the side character a problem and instead turn the protagonist into a major supporting character who can support or help said side character through those challenges. Have their character arcs and stories weave into each other instead of just focusing on your protagonist.

What kind of story is it, by the way? How characters get developed should vary depending on the type of story you're trying to tell or your goal.

 

[Deleted member 29316]

Don't be afraid to give glaring flaws to your characters and make them 'grow' as the story progress.

 

[Deleted member 29316]

I think that it would be helpful to keep individual character sheets on your characters. Outlines are your best friend, and try to vaguely plot out their (the side characters) development paths. I think that asking yourself "What do I want this character to become?" can help you a bit. Jot down key moments and highlights that you want those side characters to do, and try to connect the dots.

Do not be afraid to put the spotlight away from your protagonist every now and then and turn one of your side characters into the main character, literally or not, for a period of time. Give the side character a problem and instead turn the protagonist into a major supporting character who can support or help said side character through those challenges. Have their character arcs and stories weave into each other instead of just focusing on your protagonist.

@Sylphias This could really help you.

 

[Sylverius]

Welcome to Scribblehub. Hope you enjoy your time here. Still kinda starting out on the writing thing myself, but I'll try to help.

I think that it would be helpful to keep individual character sheets on your characters. Outlines are your best friend, and try to vaguely plot out their (the side characters) development paths. I think that asking yourself "What do I want this character to become?" can help you a bit. Jot down key moments and highlights that you want those side characters to do, and try to connect the dots.

Do not be afraid to put the spotlight away from your protagonist every now and then and turn one of your side characters into the main character, literally or not, for a period of time. Give the side character a problem and instead turn the protagonist into a major supporting character who can support or help said side character through those challenges. Have their character arcs and stories weave into each other instead of just focusing on your protagonist.

What kind of story is it, by the way? How characters get developed should vary depending on the type of story you're trying to tell or your goal.

Well, since it's explained at episode 1 and 2, I guess it won't hurt or spoil to say how the direction goes.
Basically, the protagonist is based on me, a sensitive and emotional kid who acts before thinking. He has 4 childhood friends. 1st is Bea, from the name, she's a girl. She's very kind and caring to her friends, but when she talks to a stranger or a high-standing person, she freezes up. 2nd is Gran, he's the edgy type of guy, usually very cringy, but his leadership is good. Next is Kenny. He's the tank, he's also a very charismatic and charming guy, he's also there for comic reliefs. Then, the last of the 4 is Levy, she's very quiet, serious as well as secretive.
The hard part is, how do I make them, "them"?

And yes, in the story, there is a part where the spotlight will change from MC to his 4 friends, but as I wrote it and re-read my completed projects over and over again, it didn't have any emotions and/or impact. Whenever I read the novel, "The Beginning after the end" where it shows his friends' emotions and comedic skits and the novel "Mushoku tensei" where it encapsulates the protagonist being "human". I was inspired and my life's views were impacted on the show "Shingeki no Kyojin" or Attack on Titan, which made me keep trying to rework the story in order for the emotions to impact the viewers or readers, such as their fears, their sadness, anger, joy, disgust, and many more.

Sorry for the long post.

Oh, I almost forgot. The main goal of the story is basically, he needs to grow stronger and stronger as well as live long. The reason is explained in episode 1 as well.

 

[Sylverius]

@Sylphias This could really help you.

Thanks for the heads up mate.

 

[Sylverius]

Oh, I almost forgot. The main goal of the story is basically, he needs to grow stronger and stronger as well as live long. The reason is explained in episode 1 as well.

I don't want to lengthen the post more since it'd cause more confusion, but that's mostly the MC's goal. I'm planning on adding another goal which fits in quite nicely in my opinion, but I won't add it until hearing criticisms about my story. If you guys, if you're willing to, judge or criticize that goal, then perhaps I'll add it in.

 

[AdLeto]

There is one way of resolving these 2 problems and even give an ending to the story:
It was all a dream

Never fails, trust me

 

[someonesomeguy]

I don't want to lengthen the post more since it'd cause more confusion, but that's mostly the MC's goal. I'm planning on adding another goal which fits in quite nicely in my opinion, but I won't add it until hearing criticisms about my story. If you guys, if you're willing to, judge or criticize that goal, then perhaps I'll add it in.

Well same for my story but my protagonist straight up tells the girl .
"I want immortality and I would sacrifice you for it if need be and there is not other choice.

Though I might feel bad enough that I may go into depression and do suicide if I really end up doing it
but the chance of that happening are pretty low.

Do you still wanna stick together?"

It's a very romantic comedy but sometimes tone changes for a few chapters.

In the story protagonist is really really really kind.
He is very head over the heels for girl but his life is one thing he will never compromise on.



He gives this speech .
Her reaction to it is comedic





Logic being " emotions are temporary. Guilt will eventually fade.
If I live I would regret it .
But if I am dead then I cease to exist . Nothing of me remains to regret.

I have a life to live and i won't let anything get in way of that.
All of me my desires, ideals, questions and thoughts cease to exist and I will never think again for what emotions and love.


I am more than emotions . More than just a vessel of love for someone.
I am my own person first who loves you (or I think I do who knows) .
If I sacrificed myself for you then I am nothing more than a vessel for your love. My existence has been overtaken by my loyalty to someone else and I am dead even if I am alive .

So I can't do that.
But well I change all the time and there is nothing like "vessel of love" or "ideals" it's all in my head just from neurons.
Maybe one day I might feel enough emotion to die for . Who knows it's not like I can predict with accuracy what I will be in future.
But I am getting a very very strong feeling that I would never even in future die for you.
But who knows?
"

Oh and this isn't a character flaw.
It's not something story will correct.
My story doesn't have character arcs its just about how protagonists interact with the world.
It's basically like gullivers travels.
They travel through worlds one like brave new world other like 1984 . Maybe warhammer 40k like world.

It's kind of romantic comedy .
idk about romance .
But definitely has comedy .

I am subverting every single trope I know.

And you know what the girl says after that speech


"Dude such a situation is very unlikely to happen. It's not a anime. No God is going to ask you to choose me or immortality. I don't have some super eleven blood that only way to be immortal will be to kill me.

Plus you have all the media of earth.
I don't have to work. You are fun to be around. It's heaven no work just consuming media of other world . I am not going to leave.

What you will do doesn't matter if situation doesn't arise anyway.
Oh also you should get some sleep.
After that we will watch Fma

 

[Sylverius]

There is one way of resolving these 2 problems and even give an ending to the story:
It was all a dream

Never fails, trust me

Oh, for the MC, it's not a dream, but a nightmare in reality. I won't spoil the ending if you're interested in reading, buuuuuttttt I won't give the ending away. All I've got to say is that if this one succeeds, I might make the season 2. I plan on making this story open-ended and maybe add some side-stories.

 

[Sylverius]

Well same for my story but my protagonist straight up tells the girl .
"I want immortality and I would sacrifice you for it if need be and there is not other choice.

Though I might feel bad enough that I may go into depression and do suicide if I really end up doing it
but the chance of that happening are pretty low.

Do you still wanna stick together?"

It's a very romantic comedy but sometimes tone changes for a few chapters.

In the story protagonist is really really really kind.
He is very head over the heels for girl but his life is one thing he will never compromise on.



He gives this speech .
Her reaction to it is comedic





Logic being " emotions are temporary. Guilt will eventually fade.
If I live I would regret it .
But if I am dead then I cease to exist . Nothing of me remains to regret.

I have a life to live and i won't let anything get in way of that.
All of me my desires, ideals, questions and thoughts cease to exist and I will never think again for what emotions and love.


I am more than emotions . More than just a vessel of love for someone.
I am my own person first who loves you (or I think I do who knows) .
If I sacrificed myself for you then I am nothing more than a vessel for your love. My existence has been overtaken by my loyalty to someone else and I am dead even if I am alive .

So I can't do that.
But well I change all the time and there is nothing like "vessel of love" or "ideals" it's all in my head just from neurons.
Maybe one day I might feel enough emotion to die for . Who knows it's not like I can predict with accuracy what I will be in future.
But I am getting a very very strong feeling that I would never even in future die for you.
But who knows?
"

Oh and this isn't a character flaw.
It's not something story will correct.
My story doesn't have character arcs its just about how protagonists interact with the world.
It's basically like gullivers travels.
They travel through worlds one like brave new world other like 1984 . Maybe warhammer 40k like world.

It's kind of romantic comedy .
idk about romance .
But definitely has comedy .

I am subverting every single trope I know.

And you know what the girl says after that speech


"Dude such a situation is very unlikely to happen. It's not a anime. No God is going to ask you to choose me or immortality. I don't have some super eleven blood that only way to be immortal will be to kill me.

Plus you have all the media of earth.
I don't have to work. You are fun to be around. It's heaven no work just consuming media of other world . I am not going to leave.

What you will do doesn't matter if situation doesn't arise anyway.
Oh also you should get some sleep.
After that we will watch Fma

Hmm... I wanna read it when it's finished XD

 

[CypherTails]

I feel stale side characters can be due to lack of attention placed upon them by the story. If they are only props made to follow the main character around and they barely get much meaningful lines they can come across as flat. This is inevitable for some characters so I would first suggest you decide which characters will push the plot forward. Characters that don't push the plot forward will invariably feel like card board cut outs compared to the main character.

An famous example would Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter. They aren't as well developed as Harry so compared to him they seem quite flat in the first few books.

This leads into what I feel is a solution to this problem. Conflict and adversity drives character development. An example of this in Harry Potter would be how Hermione in the first book is just a smart know it all girl that seems arrogant. But when they deal with those killer vines she panics and although she knows she needs to use fire to deal with them she panics and says "There's no wood." In the end she uses her wand to conjure fire but this scene shows that although she is book smart she is also kind of bad in practical application when she is under pressure. Later she tells Harry that he is better wizard than she is a witch because he can perform better in real life scenarios.

This is important because this final trail in the end of the first book, turns Hermione from a smart know it all, top in class, arrogant princess, into a girl who is good at her studies but is poor in application outside of the classroom settings. So this humanizes Hermione, gives layers to her character, the more layers you put into a character the more human they feel. She also complements Harry in the story because Harry is not that good at his studies.

So Basically

Simple character --> Conflict --> Pressure --> Show flaws and strengths --> Character development --> more human character

Rinse and repeat but make sure that if you do this, the character growth matters to the plot. Don't develop some random extra in your story unless they will serve a purpose to the plot. So if you want to implement a side character that will be present force in the story, ask yourself this question.

What happens if I take this guy/girl out?

If taking them out changes nothing to the overall plot then you need to return to the drawing board.

A bad example of character use would be Kirito's harem in SAO. Not sure if you watched it but as of the end of season 2, in my opinion the only people that matter in that gaggle of girls is Asuna, Sinon and Kriito's sister. The rest can be removed without much impact, basically just props to tick a list of girl stereotypes. Although I understand why they are there due to the whole Harem thing, so you are trading the quality of the story to pander to your audience. I'm not saying that's its a completely bad thing, compromises must always be made in any form of story. You just need to make sure you are getting a good deal from that trade off.

 

[Sylverius]

I feel stale side characters can be due to lack of attention placed upon them by the story. If they are only props made to follow the main character around and they barely get much meaningful lines they can come across as flat. This is inevitable for some characters so I would first suggest you decide which characters will push the plot forward. Characters that don't push the plot forward will invariably feel like card board cut outs compared to the main character.

An famous example would Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter. They aren't as well developed as Harry so compared to him they seem quite flat in the first few books.

This leads into what I feel is a solution to this problem. Conflict and adversity drives character development. An example of this in Harry Potter would be how Hermione in the first book is just a smart know it all girl that seems arrogant. But when they deal with those killer vines she panics and although she knows she needs to use fire to deal with them she panics and says "There's no wood." In the end she uses her wand to conjure fire but this scene shows that although she is book smart she is also kind of bad in practical application when she is under pressure. Later she tells Harry that he is better wizard than she is a witch because he can perform better in real life scenarios.

This is important because this final trail in the end of the first book, turns Hermione from a smart know it all, top in class, arrogant princess, into a girl who is good at her studies but is poor in application outside of the classroom settings. So this humanizes Hermione, gives layers to her character, the more layers you put into a character the more human they feel. She also complements Harry in the story because Harry is not that good at his studies.

So Basically

Simple character --> Conflict --> Pressure --> Show flaws and strengths --> Character development --> more human character

Rinse and repeat but make sure that if you do this, the character growth matters to the plot. Don't develop some random extra in your story unless they will serve a purpose to the plot. So if you want to implement a side character that will be present force in the story, ask yourself this question.

What happens if I take this guy/girl out?

If taking them out changes nothing to the overall plot then you need to return to the drawing board.

A bad example of character use would be Kirito's harem in SAO. Not sure if you watched it but as of the end of season 2, in my opinion the only people that matter in that gaggle of girls is Asuna, Sinon and Kriito's sister. The rest can be removed without much impact, basically just props to tick a list of girl stereotypes. Although I understand why they are there due to the whole Harem thing, so you are trading the quality of the story to pander to your audience. I'm not saying that's its a completely bad thing, compromises must always be made in any form of story. You just need to make sure you are getting a good deal from that trade off.

OH DAAAAAAAAA**********NNNNNNNN
Now that, I fully understand. Wow, thanks mate, so the things I've missed are basically the conflict and pressure. But, sadly that only answers the first problem. My second problem now is their emotions. I've read many stories and even watched them (Yes, including SAO, full metal alchemist, etc.), and the emotions they release are astonishing. Even the novel "Beginning after the end" brought me sadness when something bad happens, but when I look at my story, when something sad happens, it's... Not sad. I guess attack on titan gave me a huge impact. But, basically the only thing missing now is the part where if this scene is sad, even the readers will feel sad, when this scene invokes anger, even the readers will get mad at them, when this scene is sweet, the readers could giggle at their interactions. This is the type of story-writing that I need last.

 

[EternalSunset0]

A bad example of character use would be Kirito's harem in SAO. Not sure if you watched it but as of the end of season 2, in my opinion the only people that matter in that gaggle of girls is Asuna, Sinon and Kriito's sister. The rest can be removed without much impact, basically just props to tick a list of girl stereotypes. Although I understand why they are there due to the whole Harem thing, so you are trading the quality of the story to pander to your audience. I'm not saying that's its a completely bad thing, compromises must always be made in any form of story. You just need to make sure you are getting a good deal from that trade off.

Speaking of this though, I'd also like to point out that this is also what makes Mother's Rosario such a good arc. It's actually part of what influenced my initial answer to you @Sylphias. The spotlight focused on Asuna, and we got to know her a lot more. Plus, it might just be my upbringing in an Asian family while being kind of an academic overachiever, but her problems just seem a lot more relatable for me (academic pressures, a parent who does not approve of your hobbies, etc)

The story for that arc is told from her perspective, and it turns out she's much more well-rounded as a character than anime Kirito. We get to see more of her life outside video games, the pressures she face from her stereotypical Asian mom, and how she builds friendships outside Kirito. It also relegated Kirito, the initial protagonist, into a recurring and important side character, a role which he actually excels at imo, given what he is in the anime.

 

[Sylverius]

Speaking of this though, I'd also like to point out that this is also what makes Mother's Rosario such a good arc. It's actually part of what influenced my initial answer to you @Sylphias. The spotlight focused on Asuna, and we got to know her a lot more. Plus, it might just be my upbringing in an Asian family while being kind of an academic overachiever, but her problems just seem a lot more relatable for me (academic pressures, a parent who does not approve of your hobbies, etc)

The story for that arc is told from her perspective, and it turns out she's much more well-rounded as a character than anime Kirito. We get to see more of her life outside video games, the pressures she face from her stereotypical Asian mom, and how she builds friendships outside Kirito. It also relegated Kirito, the initial protagonist, into a recurring and important side character, a role which he actually excels at imo, given what he is in the anime.

Hmm, I should, like, make an arc for each of them huh... Well, I'm not too far off the beginning so I hope that it works. Thanks for the tip mate, I appreciate it.

 

[EternalSunset0]

OH DAAAAAAAAA**********NNNNNNNN
Now that, I fully understand. Wow, thanks mate, so the things I've missed are basically the conflict and pressure. But, sadly that only answers the first problem. My second problem now is their emotions. I've read many stories and even watched them (Yes, including SAO, full metal alchemist, etc.), and the emotions they release are astonishing. Even the novel "Beginning after the end" brought me sadness when something bad happens, but when I look at my story, when something sad happens, it's... Not sad. I guess attack on titan gave me a huge impact. But, basically the only thing missing now is the part where if this scene is sad, even the readers will feel sad, when this scene invokes anger, even the readers will get mad at them, when this scene is sweet, the readers could giggle at their interactions. This is the type of story-writing that I need last.

I think when it comes to this, there's no "surefire way" to do it. Every person responds differently to different triggers or scenes. What could strike you as touching may not be for others, and what others would get really hyped on, you might feel indifferent.

It's one thing that I learned as I grew, and it just felt like something we all have to live with. Just take the first step and write and publish, and let's see what works.

The best advice I can give you in this sector is to just let your words flow intricately. Try not to shortcut anything and describe events from the perspective of the characters without them sounding so plain. For example, instead of "Sylphias felt angry," just expound it to describe how his heart is racing, how his blood was boiling, or how even within his unfeeling facade, he had a storm of emotions brewing, etc.

Something like that, if you get it.

 

[EternalSunset0]

Hmm, I should, like, make an arc for each of them huh... Well, I'm not too far off the beginning so I hope that it works. Thanks for the tip mate, I appreciate it.

You don't exactly need to make an arc for each of them per se, but since you have a cast that can be counted with one hand's fingers, it should not be too hard. You can try interweaving their arcs with the protagonist's personal growth too so that it won't feel like only one character is progressing per arc.

 

[Sylverius]

You don't exactly need to make an arc for each of them per se, but since you have a cast that can be counted with one hand's fingers, it should not be too hard. You can try interweaving their arcs with the protagonist's personal growth too so that it won't feel like only one character is progressing per arc.

Good answer, I guess I should try making them more human and connect it with the MC.

 

[KrisVFX]

Uhh, so I just wanna get the "Hi I'm a new guy here" out of the way because I suck at making introductions.
Straight to the point, basically, I've created the story's beginning, to middle, of course no art because I also suck at digital art.
The main problems I've discovered were 2 in particular. One, is development. They've kept their personalities, and only the protagonist got to develop mentally and emotionally throughout the years. The second problem was the emotions. The only emotion that I have is from the protagonist again. The side characters felt... Stale. They were empty, and felt dispensable. They didn't feel like the protagonist's friend at all, and I don't want that. Everyone except the protagonist felt robotic, that's why I need help. My friend referred me to this site because I've been stuck on notepad. If anyone can tell me any tips, I highly appreciate it.

As a new writer, I have found a way to make my characters realistic! Try imaging the conversation your characters are having. Put your mind in your character's point of view. What would you say in that kind of situation. Don't just randomly make up stuff randomly so the main character can have it easy. Think of a way you want them to behave and act. Your writing is a reader's point of view so you need to describe what you want to tell them! Also, try reading other people's work if you want to understand how a character behaves and develops! Good luck!