okay... go to the latin, its a prefix. pro- always means pro-totype, pro-logue. Pro is always first or previous. Okay, probably hindi for preface or something. Reading...
(time passes)
okay. I made it to... I was gonna say chapter two, but its probably chapter 1. on account of the prodology was the first one.
here's a representative excerpt, for illustrative purposes:
---------------------------
If I’m here… what happened to the real owner of this body?
Footsteps outside interrupted his thoughts.
Aric: “Brother? Why are you shouting so much?”
Aliya turned instantly.
Aliya: “Father! Brother is acting weird again!”
The door slid open.
A tall man stepped in. Broad shoulders. Calm eyes. Simple training clothes—but his presence made the room feel steady.
Yep, Meer thought, definitely not my dad.
But something clicked.
The voice.
The wooden house.
The clothes.
The atmosphere.
This wasn’t just a fantasy world.
It was that story.
Aric Valenford: “You awake now?”
Meer nodded slowly.
Aliya: “He woke up and did something weird! Really weird!”
Meer scratched his cheek.
---------------------------------------------
well. where to begin. It wasn't enough that web novels have, and somewhat successfully mind you... reduced the paragraph to single sentences. Double sentences, to make important points. But, this goes too far. The sentences, have been reduced to fragments. The line between each, indicates these are paragraphs. No, this isn't a case of me picking out line spaced dialogue. the no-dialogue "paragraphs" (sentence fragments) are structured the same. They are, in fact, held out to be paragraphs.
I can't *wait* to see where this brave and stunning reductionism leads to next year. Why stop with just reducing paragraphs to just a a noun and a verb, maybe one adverb to really purple it up. "see jane run" is first grade. So, this is second or third grade. I mean, why have all that navel gazing, you know? Lets just try one word paragraphs. That, might catch on.
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess ESL. Then, a sentence like this one, stands out in sharp contrast amid all the see jane run sentences...
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A tall man stepped in. Broad shoulders. Calm eyes. Simple training clothes—but his presence made the room feel steady.
-------------------------
stacked sentence fragments, the all important em---dash, finished off with a weird usage. his presence, made the room feel... steady? Huh?
okay, I can't take any more. I'm gonna skim another "chapter". Maybe get some hard numbers, for you know... metrics.
prodology : 231 words
chapter 1 : 828 words
chapter 2 : 878 words
reviewers note: I located a short paragraph...
"The lake was quiet, like really quiet, because it was still so early. There was a mist just sitting right over the water, and the sun was just starting to peek through the trees. After his training workout, his muscles felt that deep, honest ache, the kind that tells you, yeah, this body, this whole life thing, it’s actually real."
three sentences, a new record. just sitting... just starting... repetitious structures. a comma stack from hell. thgen back to trhree word "paragraphs".
chapter 3 : 983 words (a new record)
also, the prose (and I hesitate to call it that, thus far anyways) takes a huge turn for chapter 4. All of a sudden, multiple sentence paragraphs. Here's one that impressed me. All of a sudden out of nowhere, normal prose:
"The morning sun sparkled over the small village, its rays shimmering on the lake's surface. Meer Valenford knelt beside the water, splashing some on his face. The cold made his hands ache, but it was just what he needed after the tough training yesterday. The lake was calm, almost too calm. Mist lingered above it, while birds chirped lazily in the distance. His muscles throbbed with a deep ache, a reminder that this body and this life were real.
Meer Valenford examined his reflection. Black hair framed a softer, younger face. Eyes that weren't his own stared back at him."
(and followed up, by a three sentence paragraph)
where was this, the whole time up until now? and the single sentence paragraphs, magically transform into all two sentence paragraphs now.
almost as if, some machine got a setting adjusted? But I'm no expert. Maybe this is what happens when the free online version, you pay the 5 bucks, now this is what the "pro" version can do.
chapter 4 : 856 words, right back to single sentences for paragraphs. (maybe it was just a one day trial)
chapter 5 : 664 words, single sentences for paragraphs.
note: the final several paragraphs (sentences) were actually really emotional and touching. here's the chappie 5 ender:
"The wind whispered between them, carrying hope, promise, and the weight of two hearts under one sky."
I mean, I *like* that one. Quite... evocative.
(its like someone is adjusting machine settings, and this setting is better)
chapter 6 : there is no chap 6, story ended.
okay. that's my mechanical review. With metrics, examples, everything. Give me a couple minutes. I *need* a smoke.
next, I'll give this my review.
okay. I'll start with what I *liked*.
the extra cute anime girl on the cover? She's smoking hot.
She makes me want to... well, never mind *what* she makes me want to do. But I digress.
also? I liked the big (normal) paragraph I mentioned, that led off chapter 4. and yeah, the last couple several sentences of chapter 5, *were* very purple prose, romantic, emotional.
and that, ends what I liked about it.
although I admit, I can tell what's going on. I'm left to sort of... imagine... real paragraphs and human writing with EFL doing the writing, competently. That, would make this a real heart wrench-er, hallmark moment sort of thing.
whatever the hell caused that nice paragraph that led off chap 4 to happen? do THAT, through the whole story.
excellent job, great effort. five star work. scintillating. I loved it, and I thank you for the honor, nay, the privilege? of being allowed to read and review this masterpiece. I can't *wait* to see where you go with finishing this. There's going to be some *very* happy third and fourth grade girls out there, when they get their hands on this thing when it gets printed. When the time comes? Don't settle for a small advance, and... remember I told you, you bargain to keep those movie rights. I smell a three movie Disney deal coming.
I learned a lot from this. You just *prose mogged* me.
Have a nice day!
(pulp fiction voice)
"well, allow me to retort"
I'm a writer. I said, PRODOLOGY? I meant... "prodology". Look, screen shot... i can't make this shit up. Followed immediately by... "entered in story". fucking, priceless.
View attachment 45404
L1aei ? I thought, you were covering me. But I made it back. Alive. I? Have boldly gone, where no writer should ever have to go.
Remind me, not to do that again, would you?
what *did* I say. Ah, yes. "How bad could it be".
Indeed.
now then, what was that meme on that other site? oh yes...
"you have no idea, how bad things really are"
learning how things work... english, among them.
just for the sake of argument, call it due diligence. With the noble sounding british-y last name in the story, it contrasted sharply with the protagonist's first name... "Meer". Had to look that one up... and, here we go...
View attachment 45405
This is definitely a translated work. From Pakistan or India, most likely. And if this isn't AI generated? Monkeys are about to fly out of my dimpled white irish ass. Translated, violation one. AI? violation two. Might as well go for the trifecta, I wonder if he's also one of the indian art scammers as well. This is 'Haram'
Reeks of AI slop here~.
