Need help with the introduction of the worldbuilding to a generic fantasy world.

[expentio]

I'm a bit in a creative dilemma.
The issue is, I want to write something like an anthology that plays in one of my established stories, Eldritch. Because it's vastly different, I'd do so as its own thing.
Now, details: Currently, I only have one story for this anthology, around 18000 words of raw text. What I want to write is about a character that already showed up in the story.
I plan to use a style I'm not familiar with, as it's not quite my usual first-person narrative, but more of a dialogue, with the main part of the narration being done by the future character herself as a form of recall.
Now, only read the following please if you'd be interested in helping me in an in-depth way, including concrete details on what I may have to add.
I'm pretty sure generic statements like "that has to be fleshed out" won't help me.
So, the following is only of interest if you'd be willing to help me review what I got. Maybe helping me edit my current raw first chapter.
(In that regard, does anyone have an idea how to give access to my Word chapter?)

Spoiler: mild spoiler about Eldritch and the content

So, Veo. Veo is a so-called water angel. That's more of a nickname, because they use Hydrogen and subsequently water to manifest in. They are basically cosmic agents of balance, tasked with checking up on issues and worlds, whether their balance is screwed, and souls may suffer harm there.
A bit of a problem is that sending an angel is the same as throwing an entropic nuke at a problem. They have immense power and are pretty unpredictable in what they'll be doing. Veo is personally pretty chill, lax, with a hang for escalation.

What I now want to write is how Veo became an angel. This is supposed to be the theme of the anthology, as their responsible goddess usually tricks them into eternal service in a somewhat manipulative way. They need to fully agree to everything, but it's not like they have a concept of eternity. This leads to a slightly strained relationship with their pretty motherly goddess.

Now, for the issue, I want to write how Veo lived in a rather generic fantasy world.
The point is, she's the narrator and she's supposed to think so. Water angels become pretty nihilistic in the long run. It's supposed to be a point that she saw fantasy worlds similar to hers as a daily occurrence, and impending doom is a bit of a daily occurrence for her. It's supposed to convey how she's feeling about a decision that may just as well have determined the fate of her world that now seems so insignificant. How it leaves the question whether she'd still say yes to the offer of eternal servitude.

In this sense, the narration is supposed to feel a bit like coming home and finding that you can't quite tell apart your suburban building from the others in the same row.
For this reason, I may have skipped too much out of the worldbuilding when her story started. Yet I'm a bit unsure how to balance these two.
I still want to write something engaging. I guess most will just check it out because of the relation to my other novel, but I still want it to be interesting by itself. Enough to garner interest. Even if the premise is pretty peculiar.

 

[TheKillingAlice]

In that regard, does anyone have an idea how to give access to my Word chapter?

Set it in Google Docs with viewing access only and share the link.

 

[expentio]

I may try. Yet I actually never used that. In hindsight, I might also have a problem with marking the part of the dialogue between the two narrators that isn't recollection. Kinda don't want to use italics. Not sure how this is conbeyed on Google Docs.

For really interested, I could offer sending the Word over Discord.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

I don't think your issue is world building - I think it's character model.
To be that blase about things, she'd need to be more than "a little chill," maybe something like The Dude in "The Big Lebowski."
Look for a character or three who have the attitude you want and see how the author or actor conveys it. Then put yourself in the character's position and apply what you observed to the story you want to tell.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

OP?
only you know if you think you have the ability and experience to tackle something advanced.
me, I like to live and die by the immortal words of Dirty Harry in the one old movie.

"A man? Has got to know his limitations."

so whatever I do, I *always* try to keep it any way I can, at the basic level.
I can do more right, by doing this.
tackling more advanced concepts like ensemble cast, multiple points of view,
weird hybrid stuff, world-building...

when I have a normal story down pat? I'll start to think about that stuff.

that said... I admire those that want to take a big bite and go for it.
(and i think the Big Lebowski was hysterically funny)

 

[expentio]

I don't think your issue is world building - I think it's character model.
To be that blase about things, she'd need to be more than "a little chill," maybe something like The Dude in "The Big Lebowski."
Look for a character or three who have the attitude you want and see how the author or actor conveys it. Then put yourself in the character's position and apply what you observed to the story you want to tell.

Seriously, no. I like the character as she is. She was entertaining in the main story, and I'm absolutely convinced of her character. I may not have perfectly conveyed it here, due to the impossibility of reducing a character to a few lines, but the character is the least of my problems.

 

[MFontana]

I'm a bit in a creative dilemma.
The issue is, I want to write something like an anthology that plays in one of my established stories, Eldritch. Because it's vastly different, I'd do so as its own thing.
Now, details: Currently, I only have one story for this anthology, around 18000 words of raw text. What I want to write is about a character that already showed up in the story.
I plan to use a style I'm not familiar with, as it's not quite my usual first-person narrative, but more of a dialogue, with the main part of the narration being done by the future character herself as a form of recall.
Now, only read the following please if you'd be interested in helping me in an in-depth way, including concrete details on what I may have to add.
I'm pretty sure generic statements like "that has to be fleshed out" won't help me.
So, the following is only of interest if you'd be willing to help me review what I got. Maybe helping me edit my current raw first chapter.
(In that regard, does anyone have an idea how to give access to my Word chapter?)

Spoiler: mild spoiler about Eldritch and the content

So, Veo. Veo is a so-called water angel. That's more of a nickname, because they use Hydrogen and subsequently water to manifest in. They are basically cosmic agents of balance, tasked with checking up on issues and worlds, whether their balance is screwed, and souls may suffer harm there.
A bit of a problem is that sending an angel is the same as throwing an entropic nuke at a problem. They have immense power and are pretty unpredictable in what they'll be doing. Veo is personally pretty chill, lax, with a hang for escalation.

What I now want to write is how Veo became an angel. This is supposed to be the theme of the anthology, as their responsible goddess usually tricks them into eternal service in a somewhat manipulative way. They need to fully agree to everything, but it's not like they have a concept of eternity. This leads to a slightly strained relationship with their pretty motherly goddess.

Now, for the issue, I want to write how Veo lived in a rather generic fantasy world.
The point is, she's the narrator and she's supposed to think so. Water angels become pretty nihilistic in the long run. It's supposed to be a point that she saw fantasy worlds similar to hers as a daily occurrence, and impending doom is a bit of a daily occurrence for her. It's supposed to convey how she's feeling about a decision that may just as well have determined the fate of her world that now seems so insignificant. How it leaves the question whether she'd still say yes to the offer of eternal servitude.

In this sense, the narration is supposed to feel a bit like coming home and finding that you can't quite tell apart your suburban building from the others in the same row.
For this reason, I may have skipped too much out of the worldbuilding when her story started. Yet I'm a bit unsure how to balance these two.
I still want to write something engaging. I guess most will just check it out because of the relation to my other novel, but I still want it to be interesting by itself. Enough to garner interest. Even if the premise is pretty peculiar.

I'd say go for it. Give it your best shot and then maybe ask again for feedback once you've gotten things written and sorted out.
The worst that can happen is that it doesn't work out all that well after all, and you'll gain valuable experience through the effort and attempt.

Personally, I'd say I lean more towards favoring the philosophy presented by this quote, in contrast to what Tina suggested.
"A man ought attempt everything, and fear nothing." ~Machiavelli
For it is only through effort and decisive action that a man might learn his limits, and work toward surpassing them.

 

[expentio]

I'd say go for it. Give it your best shot and then maybe ask again for feedback once you've gotten things written and sorted out.
The worst that can happen is that it doesn't work out all that well after all, and you'll gain valuable experience through the effort and attempt.

Personally, I'd say I lean more towards favoring the philosophy presented by this quote, in contrast to what Tina suggested.
"A man ought attempt everything, and fear nothing." ~Machiavelli
For it is only through effort and decisive action that a man might learn his limits, and work toward surpassing them.

Well, thing is, it's already written. I'm more curious if there's a way to improve on it.
Right now, it might be foremost for those who already know that character from my other story. The base is quite decent so, but anyone who just clicks on it because it's plopping up as a new story may criticise the lack of introduction.

 

[MFontana]

Well, thing is, it's already written. I'm more curious if there's a way to improve on it.
Right now, it might be foremost for those who already know that character from my other story. The base is quite decent so, but anyone who just clicks on it because it's plopping up as a new story may criticise the lack of introduction.

Ultimately; it comes down to the reading order, and narrative scope.
If the story in question is the second (or later) in a series, then it is safe to expect the readers are already familiar with the recurring themes and characters, and there is no need to repeat the content unless it is prevalent to the narrative of the second story.
If the narrative scope of the second story is being presented through the perspective of a different character to the first one; it is fine to limit everything in the second story to scope and perspective limits of the protagonist and what they know. This is especially true if you're writing the story in first-person.

There's also this truth to keep in mind as well.
"There will be people who criticize any and all creative decisions you make for your story."
Or in short, "You can't please everyone." so it's better to not waste time and energy trying to.

Only you can determine what is subjectively "better" for your story, so do what you feel is the best thing to tell the story as you envision it, because you are the story's author and creator.

What one person finds 'better' may not fit with your creative vision for the story, or what you feel is best for it. Truthfully, I'd strongly advise against altering your vision in an effort to avoid criticism, because that is a slippery-slope that leads to the death of creativity in pursuit of conformity.

Beyond that, if you are looking for technical, craft feedback and advice, it would be better to actually share the narrative itself; either an excerpt of it, or links to the posting on scribblehub.

 

[expentio]

While I guess the majority will come from my original story (which I guess has a decently large reader base), it's supposed to be an anthology. It's about the origin stories of those characters.
So I want to write it in a way that it's also interesting to someone dropping in for the first time. Yet as the nature of this project is, there'll only be short stories, so I'm a bit limited in how much I'd go into the details.

I tried preparing a Google document, but I'm a little overwhelmed about how exactly it works and if I'm going to make a mistake and share it in a wrong way (Over Discord would be easier...).