Need help with a story please

[Zenomew]

Hi everyone,

I'm working on a new story and I'm having trouble figuring out how to start it. I have the main plot and characters outlined, but I'm struggling to write an amazing first chapter that captures the reader's interest.

Here is the link

Isekai Patrol

With the rise of illegal summoning and transportation the Isekai Patrol has been approved there job eliminated all those involved in this isekai Enter Ueda Yuki with an special ability to rewrite the 'laws' she unwittingly finds herself caught in an interdimensional struggle from evil gods to...

www.scribblehub.com

I'd appreciate any advice or examples of strong openings that could help me get started. How do you approach writing the first few paragraphs to draw readers in? Any tips or feedback would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Corty]

Hi everyone,

I'm working on a new story and I'm having trouble figuring out how to start it. I have the main plot and characters outlined, but I'm struggling to write an amazing first chapter that captures the reader's interest.

Here is the link

Isekai Patrol

With the rise of illegal summoning and transportation the Isekai Patrol has been approved there job eliminated all those involved in this isekai Enter Ueda Yuki with an special ability to rewrite the 'laws' she unwittingly finds herself caught in an interdimensional struggle from evil gods to...

www.scribblehub.com

I'd appreciate any advice or examples of strong openings that could help me get started. How do you approach writing the first few paragraphs to draw readers in? Any tips or feedback would be greatly appreciated!

My advice would be something that concerns not your first chapter but the preface of the whole story. It is more important to capture readers who click on your first chapter than to write a perfect first chapter.

Here are things I would change/improve if I were you:

• Cover
  • First thing someone sees, and it is the main feature that brings in readers.
• A bit more detailed synopsis.
• Chapters need to be unified. Your chapter titles are not the best and look mismatched. Look up others how they do it and copy them. It is a system that works, that's why everyone uses it.

It is important to have your story's main page as appealing as possible, or people will only glance at it and move on.

 

[kitty_maine]

I agree with Corty that fixing the synopsis would help a lot. See if this sounds better:
With the rise of illegal summoning and transportation, the Isekai Patrol has been approved to eliminate all those involved in illegal activity. Enter Ueda Yuki a girl with a special ability to rewrite the 'laws' of the universe. She finds herself caught in an interdimensional struggle between evil gods and a criminal truck (???) organization. Will she survive?

I also skimmed over the first chapter, and it was pretty difficult to read. There are a lot of grammar issues that make it difficult to follow what's happening. You might want to consider installing something like Grammarly onto your browser to help correct some of the spelling and punctuation issues.

 

[xuduxixi]

Try to start your first chapter with vague and broad paragraph.

Ex: This one's based from your first chapter.

Do you know how fickle, strange, and twisted fate can be? In the blink of an eye, my ordinary life—one I always dreamed of escaping—crumbled into blood and chaos.

It started....