Need feedback on my first twelve chapters.

[natecedric]

Recently just published twelve chapters of my fantasy story, Nightmare Paradise, that are now available on Scribblehub. Been learning alot lately as an author and to be honest this journey has been something. I publish on Royal Road (the same piece), was told to give Scribblehub a go and well, here I am.

Novel's Synopsis:
Left homeless in the afterlife upon their deaths, two brothers Serafim and Morgen attempt to return to their old life in the world of the living using a forbidden ritual and now they must pay the price. One loses his entire body and turns into a feared eldritch abomination that attracts hordes of demons in his wake and the other loses an eye and is haunted by demons in his sleep.

Now, in an attempt to save his brother from a fate worse than death, Serafim is condemned to the fate of an exorcist where he is relentlessly hunted down by monsters and must embark on a horrifying and dangerous quest to hunt down his brother and stop an ancient family that threatens to destroy the afterlife.

Genre: Fantasy, Action, Swords and Sorcery, Bangsian (Afterlife)

Focus: Characters and Action.

Link: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/590375/nightmare-paradise/

 

[Immemorial]

You give my story a try and then a review and rating. Then I will see if I can help.

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