My novel

[Cain929]

Hi everyone I have posted my new novel on website which i have been writing for fun "The Inheritor Protocol" please read it and give feedback!!

 

[StoneInky]

The synopsis sounded absolute fire, so I gave it a go.

The beginning was beautiful. Lines were also fire, pacing was perfect. Sentence structures weren't wonky at all. It looked like the story underwent several rounds of extreme heavy duty editing. But then cut to several paragraphs after, where our protagonist dies, and we have problems.

So many sentences are just one or two words. It feels like you thought short=impact, but that's the kinda thought process AI has, not good writers. Edit all the parts that make you sound like you're a DND orc with a speaking impediment.

Even if you did it on purpose to give the prose a childish feeling, it doesn't work. It's annoying. If that's the case, I suggest trimming it and making the scene much shorter and consise, while occasionally dropping us simple but long sentences telling us what's going on. Or what it feels like to be born.

Then is the ending for the first chapter. Too simple, nothing happens. Dude just died and was reborn, but his reactions read as though it's another Tuesday. The resolution is off, too. The hook is weak. I'm yawning, bored.

Next chapter, and things get better. I like the banter between Kevin, Sara, and his teacher, and I don't see much to critique, so I'll keep my mouth shut, lmao.

Lastly, why are some words in bold? That is weird. Is it a choice made on purpose, with deeper meaning, or is it just so that readers don't get the names confused? If it's the latter, axe the names. If it's the former, then it's ok, but it's still weird how you draw focus to them. Almost as if they're more important than the characters and the plot themselves. There better be a really good reason why.

Conclusion: Novel with very good sentence structure and pacing. I dunno about the plot, but the first few chapters don't seem to have any major issues. I'm more curious how you managed 13 chapter uploads a week. ...Did you use AI? (Yeah, I'm almost definitely being paranoid now, lmao.)

 

[StoneInky]

Yep. The novel's gone. This dude used AI. I've been running novels through an AI checker before I review em now. In only one instance (Sorry again, @sumichan. You were just a careful editor.) was the suspicion unfounded. Every other instance, the writers either ghosted or lied about not using AI, until the evidence hit them in the face.

ARGHHHH

I want to report. Ban. Do something. WHAT FEEDBACK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GIVE TO AI?!!!!!

 

[WhiteFeather]

Yep. The novel's gone. This dude used AI. I've been running novels through an AI checker before I review em now. In only one instance (Sorry again, @sumichan. You were just a careful editor.) was the suspicion unfounded. Every other instance, the writers either ghosted or lied about not using AI, until the evidence hit them in the face.

ARGHHHH

I want to report. Ban. Do something. WHAT FEEDBACK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GIVE TO AI?!!!!!

All fine, but you use AI checkers?
They are notoriously bad and innacurate. They do not work properly 90% of the time. They have proven to be false and you can find evidence of that online.
AI can be spotted with sufficient experience though.
Also, the concept of short=impactful is NOT an AI thing.
This tells me you have rarely read any Korean or chinese translated novels. Or even Light Novels to some extent.
They all use short paragraphs and sentences and seldom use proper description like in western novels.
Many people read them a lot and have just come to imitate that style of writing.

So the intention is right but the means used are shady.
It's quite easy to spot AI if you have read lots of human written novels but certainly AI checkers or short sentences are not the giveaway.

 

[StoneInky]

All fine, but you use AI checkers?
They are notoriously bad and innacurate. They do not work properly 90% of the time. They have proven to be false and you can find evidence of that online.
AI can be spotted with sufficient experience though.
Also, the concept of short=impactful is NOT an AI thing.
This tells me you have rarely read any Korean or chinese translated novels. Or even Light Novels to some extent.
They all use short paragraphs and sentences and seldom use proper description like in western novels.
Many people read them a lot and have just come to imitate that style of writing.

So the intention is right but the means used are shady.
It's quite easy to spot AI if you have read lots of human written novels but certainly AI checkers or short sentences are not the giveaway.

I am East Asian. I know these three languages. Not only do I read these webnovels, I write em.

But to explain my view and get to the point. If you ask AI to write an action scene and make it short and impactful, they will use tons of sentence fragments and make the whole thing nigh unreadable. If this dude was just a fellow countryman who happened to translate weird, I would be able to tell. This is not one of those cases.

Also, I believe that AI checking is only inaccurate if you enter a few paragraphs, or a logical thesis. Not several chapters of a fiction novel. In that case, you can tell.

 

[MasterY001]

I am East Asian. I speak these three languages. I don't only read rhese webnovels, I write em.

But to explain my view and get to the point. If you ask AI to write an action scene and make it short and impactful, they will use tons of sentence fragments and make the whole thing nigh unreadable. If this dude was just a fellow countryman who happened to translate weird, I would be able to tell. This is not one of those cases.

Okay, since I speak only 1 language (English with extra butt jokes), now I'm curious if AI thinks my work is AI. Can you send me your AI checker, I wanna play with it.

 

[StoneInky]

Okay, since I speak only 1 language (English with extra butt jokes), now I'm curious if AI thinks my work is AI. Can you send me your AI checker, I wanna play with it.

Chatgpt works well for most cases. You just have to make sure your tone is unbiased when you ask it for help, and you have to ask it to judge entire chapters or more, not a sentence or paragraph.

Sapling works ok. I tested it out on my writing, some other writing from this site, and AI generated stories. I agree most of the time, and I think it's a good reference.

 

[WhiteFeather]

I am East Asian. I know these three languages. Not only do I read these webnovels, I write em.

But to explain my view and get to the point. If you ask AI to write an action scene and make it short and impactful, they will use tons of sentence fragments and make the whole thing nigh unreadable. If this dude was just a fellow countryman who happened to translate weird, I would be able to tell. This is not one of those cases.

Also, I believe that AI tracking being inaccurate is only the case if you enter a few paragraphs, or a logical thesis. Not several chapters of a fiction novel. In that case, you can tell.

Oh, I did not know the last bit. Thanks for that insight. And I did not read his work, so I don't exactly know what kind of "Short sentences" are being referenced here.

 

[MasterY001]

Oh, I did not know the last bit. Thanks for that insight. And I did not read his work, so I don't exactly know what kind of "Short sentences" are being referenced here.

Sorry, apparently it got axed

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Hmm - this does make me wonder if any of my own stuff would detect as "AI written" ...

 

[WhiteFeather]

Hmm - this does make me wonder if any of my own stuff would detect as "AI written" ...

It's very random, I once tested it by giving it a webnovel chapter from 2019 and it detected it as AI. And I also give it a thousand words essay generated by ChatGPT and it detected it as human work.
So I stopped believing those tools.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

It's very random, I once tested it by giving it a webnovel chapter from 2019 and it detected it as AI. And I also give it a thousand words essay generated by ChatGPT and it detected it as human work.
So I stopped believing those tools.

When my brother was teaching classes in Tennessee (he's in, of all places, Hawaii now), he did a lot of research into AI, and frequently discussed it with his students, both in class and in one-on-one sessions, He found a lot of students used AI to pad their work, but most of them DID the work, just felt it was too short or lacking and added AI stuff in - or they did not know how to start, used ChatGPT to write the first paragraph or two, and took over from there.
Then again, he found his first fully-AI written essay before he knew what AI was, when he suspected a student of plagiarism, because he recognized parts of an essay from ones he had graded a few years earlier at another school, and was wondering why the kid would plagiarize multiple students...

 

[Alski]

Okay, since I speak only 1 language (English with extra butt jokes), now I'm curious if AI thinks my work is AI. Can you send me your AI checker, I wanna play with it.

I put the first 15k characters of your first chapter into a random one online.

 

[sumichan]

Yep. The novel's gone. This dude used AI. I've been running novels through an AI checker before I review em now. In only one instance (Sorry again, @sumichan. You were just a careful editor.) was the suspicion unfounded. Every other instance, the writers either ghosted or lied about not using AI, until the evidence hit them in the face.

ARGHHHH

I want to report. Ban. Do something. WHAT FEEDBACK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GIVE TO AI?!!!!!

Hi again, I wonder too as why they even go further and ask for feedback... The essential part of a writing is writing, duh . I guess these people think something like "hey, I own the original idea though" and let AI do the rest. Well, the rest is the %95 of the work actually. And it's the fun part also.
About the AI checkers and stuff, I think the best way to spot it is to follow whether they continue to upload or not. When some AI writes what you want in 3 minutes, what's the point? I think they let it go eventually since there's no fun. Yes, they do deceive people, but they deceive themselves the most. I haven't read it yet btw, but since you got no reply, that was the deal probably. It's even a bit sad. They don't lack ideas and the urge to write, but they lack determination.

 

[MasterY001]

I put the first 15k characters of your first chapter into a random one online.

View attachment 37946

Oh, thank fuck...

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Hi again, I wonder too as why they even go further and ask for feedback... The essential part of a writing is writing, duh . I guess these people think something like "hey, I own the original idea though" and let AI do the rest. Well, the rest is the %95 of the work actually. And it's the fun part also.
About the AI checkers and stuff, I think the best way to spot it is to follow whether they continue to upload or not. When some AI writes what you want in 3 minutes, what's the point? I think they let it go eventually since there's no fun. Yes, they do deceive people, but they deceive themselves the most. I haven't read it yet btw, but since you got no reply, that was the deal probably. It's even a bit sad. They don't lack ideas and the urge to write, but they lacI k determination.

I strongly suspect some of the people who use AI frequently or constantly started out by getting stuck in a contract like WebNovel's, and started using AI to meet the demands of the deal. Would not be surprised if they are posting stories elsewhere that are either partially AI or now FEEL like AI because they're mimicking the work they published already, just to see if they still can write or not...
I could almost see myself falling into that trap if I'd gotten sucked into their contract ...

 

[sumichan]

Question for non native english.

Do you write your story directly in english or do you write first in your native language then translate it to english?

And how deal with grammar, tense or other sentence structure?

As someone that grow in country where the main language doesnt really care about languange structure and learn english myself from reading and rarely speaking or writing i always feel that i doesnt have a capabilty to write a good sentence structure or in natural way.

Any tips to improve my english writing skill? Like maybe learn this part first the that part.

Thanks you in advance

I strongly suspect some of the people who use AI frequently or constantly started out by getting stuck in a contract like WebNovel's, and started using AI to meet the demands of the deal. Would not be surprised if they are posting stories elsewhere that are either partially AI or now FEEL like AI because they're mimicking the work they published elsewhere, just to see if they still can write or not...
I could almost see myself falling into that trap if I'd gotten sucked into their contract ...

I've also read about Webnovel's contract and it's really strict. They want writers' full productivity to themselves and it really sucks, considering how those writers had to be constantly productive while adapting to whole bunch of demands. And yeah, they could really be trying themselves out there somewhere. And readers... Some of them really do like novels basic and easy to read or predict, like an AI wrote it just for a fun read. When writers add too much detail, I often see comments about how long or hard to read it. In contrast, short and easy read chapters (even with major problems) receive comments like "this chapter was so shortttt, I can't wait!" ?

Most of the readers are actually demanding AI generated-like stories, I believe. That's sad, but I agree with you. Writers amd readers tend to use AI with so many motives. As a result, it's a contradiction for us but sadly... I think the majority seems to don't mind it.