my friend scares me

[mme.cube]

My friend read "bell jar" and now she likes to talk about it a lot.
She's usually acts gloomy and is tired all the time, but when she speaks about bell jar, her face just lights up. Thing is, bell jar is about the story of a suicidal girl, and the book features various suicide attempts. My friend has described to me about all the different ways the book's main character has tried to off herself.
She's said things like,
"This book is the most interesting out of all ib books." And when asked why, she'd say:
"I don't know why, probably because of it's mental health elements."
And the thing is, I know her mental health is terrible.

It's worrying, and there's no one to talk about this to in my real life, so I'm here.

 

[Deleted member 120990]

It can be confusing, but sometimes, hearing other people's mental health problems can be a reassurance. I am not saying you shouldn't worry, but I have been super depressed and what helped me at times was listening to the most depressing music. Their lyrics were often about them voicing their own mental health issues.

You can also look at group therapy. Group therapy is listening to other people's problems to rationalize your own.

 

[owotrucked]

I can only give you half joking advice:

Although hearing and empathizing with someone's pain can provide short term relief, facing life is a personal challenge

My outlook of life is that every single individual is a random 'method' for the human species to survive. That's why we're all so different with different skill sets, personality, immunology. It doesnt matter which method we use, our species wants each of us to eat, sleep, play, and fuck. As long as a bunch somehow fulfill these goals, it's a win for humanity. However this hit-or-miss stochastic method of problem solving is built on the assumption that people are bound to be 'failures'.

So life is a terrible, cruel and unfair lottery. Sometimes, we can feel like shit because we can't find a way to make use of ourself in a given environment. It's especially the case in young ppl who cant find their place to fit in society. If you get dealt with a bad hand, life wants us to somehow make it work, and sometimes it can be as simple as breaking out of the environment. Instead of offing oneself, the solution can be flipping everything else upside down to walk the crazy path (instead of wanting to die, it might be closer to wanting to escape a situation)

Ppl who suffered from auto immune disease survived terrible black plagues because of their immune system is on steroid. Joan d'Arc, a crazy girl who heard voices and never fought before, saved France by running around with a fucking banner.

Humanity is singlehandedly carried by whacky people so who knows what potential a suicidal girl have. It's a personal journey to find out, but it's also their right to dip out to the afterlife. Anyway, I think that standing at the crossroad of life and death can grant unexpected bravery, so instigate your friend into toppling american capitalism

 

[BearlyAlive]

It's better to openly talk about this stuff than to notice it randomly laying around. If they actively talk about it, chances are they're (unknowingly) working on their problems. Unless they're talking about how/why the suicide attempts didn't work and muse about ways to get them to work. Those are already alarm signals for normal people, but if someone is in danger of commiting to it themselves, then talking about failed attempts and ways to do it "better" is code red.

My advcie would be to actively engage into conversation about this and get a feel if it's helping. People can cling to the weirdest things in times of need. I got out of a severe depression episode by playing meh Visual Novels and shittalking with a friend about the worst parts.

 

[Tsuru]

My friend read "bell jar" and now she likes to talk about it a lot.
She's usually acts gloomy and is tired all the time, but when she speaks about bell jar, her face just lights up. Thing is, bell jar is about the story of a suicidal girl, and the book features various suicide attempts. My friend has described to me about all the different ways the book's main character has tried to off herself.
She's said things like,
"This book is the most interesting out of all ib books." And when asked why, she'd say:
"I don't know why, probably because of it's mental health elements."
And the thing is, I know her mental health is terrible.

It's worrying, and there's no one to talk about this to in my real life, so I'm here.

1) Dont worry she is FINE

2) The fact she open up is BEST WAY
2.5) Imagine the reverse, SHE IS MORE GLOOMY, NOT TALKING ANYMORE, AND STAY HOME, AND KEEP READING THIS BOOKS
<THIS. is alarming !
So yeah. Dont worry, its better now that she speaks so much.

3) You better hurry to pay attention to what she says
Not implying anything but just : listen to her
Its very frustating that the other person doesnt care/listen

Imagine reverse, SOMEONE talk about Shinji (Evangelion) gush over it. But the other girl/man, say "hm hm"
Keep speaking how they relate to shinji, his cowardice, etc
So yes. Basically just think of what she say as OTAKUNESS
Its very common for introverted person, to gush over stuff THEY REALLY LIKE
Its just that she picked this suicidal girl.
And that doesnt mean (hopefully) she is suicidal. Just that she relate wit hit very much.
Its like some people relate to some ruthless cultivator MCs or a perverted (rapistornot) isekai hero.
Doesnt mean they want to become like them.

Returning to "Shinji Evang" example: it turns bad, when the girl/man/other, begin to think "gosh, do they want to become like Shinji and masturbate over sleeping/coma people"
Luckily you are not this step. But lot of brainrot genZ do.

4) Try to find ways to find the fun in her topic
OR find ways to have similar topics that could interest her.
Like bell jar have spaghetti in the book, say : hm, which is better in your opinion, cheese or tomato spaghetti?

5) Some people like me would love to hear this kind of stuff.
And i think she focus more on the "psychology of human being" and less on the fact the character is suicidal.


CONCLUSION :
Your action and her action is normal. But luckily you tried to find a solution and asked. Anyway, just think of her as having a very weird hobby (didnt want to use this derogative term but couldnt find any similar words)
Imagine her like this weird female anime characters, that like insect, experimental-drugs, BOYLOVE, rock&roll, etc They got screw loose but totally fine.
Or imagine her like a goth. DONE.




TLDR :
Simply listen to her as if its her BIG HOBBY (but weird), and try to not ignore her, even if what she says is boring. Or you risk friendship to break.





PS : I a..................I AM NOT JEALOUS. I am not lying (plz put the gun down Botty )

 

[Dork_08]

I believe she'll be ok, she may just like it a lot because if the MC in the book has struggles she may relate to them, it's a coping mechanism but not a very good one. Just to be safe I think you should really talk to her if she's thinking those thoughts and possibly talk to her parents?
I dunno, those are my ideas from my experiences in depression and suicidal thoughts, having someone just ask or be there helps

One Night Stands