Monkey's Paw

[tiaf]

Granted, but it's written in Chinese so good luck.

你妈鸡

I wish for a better view of the burning corpse.

Granted, you burn together with the corpse, except the corpse has fire resistance and needed longer to burn than you.

I wish to be the ruler of the world and all people were under my mind control.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you burn together with the corpse, except the corpse has fire resistance and needed longer to burn than you.

I wish to be the ruler of the world and all people were under my mind control.

Granted, now everyone's mindless.

I wish for soap.

 

[Yorda]

Granted, now everyone's mindless.

I wish for soap.

Granted, but you dropped it.

I wish that I would stop having psychologically distressing nightmares.

 

[tiaf]

Granted, but you dropped it.

I wish that I would stop having psychologically distressing nightmares.

Granted, your dreams are now disgustingly sweet and glittery. Full of pink, cupcakes and overly chummy animal babies.

I wish my head was clear.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, your dreams are now disgustingly sweet and glittery. Full of pink, cupcakes and overly chummy animal babies.

I wish my head was clear.

Granted, now you don't have a head.

I wish Bradley Cooper would stop showing up in my dreams, it's getting harder to wash these pants.

 

[Zoey]

Granted, now you don't have a head.

I wish Bradley Cooper would stop showing up in my dreams, it's getting harder to wash these pants.

Granted, but now Gordon Ramsay shows up instead.

I wish that this thread will never die.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, but now Gordon Ramsay shows up instead.

I wish that this thread will never die.

Granted, now the quality drops and everything is furry humour.

I wish for a shopping bag.

 

[Lys]

Granted, but now Gordon Ramsay shows up instead.

I wish that this thread will never die.

Granted.

I wish for a shopping bag.

 

[tiaf]

Granted.

Granted, but now it’s fishy here.

I wish I had motivation.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, but now it’s fishy here.

I wish I had motivation.

Granted, now you're even more motivated to procrastinate.

I want to have a bad time.

 

[tiaf]

Granted, now you're even more motivated to procrastinate.

I want to have a bad time.

Granted, now you have wish for a good time, but it won’t come.

I want to eat food.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, now you have wish for a good time, but it won’t come.

I want to eat food.

The monkey paw doesn't work like that but aite I'll take it.

Granted, but you're the food, and you're in a paradoxical hell where you can't eat because you're eating you but you have to cause' you're fucking hungry.

I want a pair of shoes.

 

[Zoey]

The monkey paw doesn't work like that but aite I'll take it.

Granted, but you're the food, and you're in a paradoxical hell where you can't eat because you're eating you but you have to cause' you're fucking hungry.

I want a pair of shoes.

Granted, but they’re made of a layer of your dead skin.

I wish I new what to wish for.

 

[tiaf]

Granted, but they’re making of a layer of your dead skin.

I wish I new what to wish for.

Granted, but a parasitic alien is in your brain now.

I wish to have bubble tea.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, but a parasitic alien is in your brain now.

I wish to have bubble tea.

Granted, thanks for ordering, that'll be $19.59.

I want butter.

 

[Deleted member 46002]

Granted, thanks for ordering, that'll be $19.59.

I want butter.

Granted, but it will be in stock only next month
I want ultimate powers

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, but it will be in stock only next month
I want ultimate powers

Granted, your powers are making butter available for purchase right now.

I want a pair of Crocs.

 

[furnace]

Granted, your powers are making butter available for purchase right now.

I want a pair of Crocs.

Granted, they are made of cloth


I want to use magic

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, they are made of cloth


I want to use magic

Granted, but you could only use it when you're asleep.

I want to be.

 

[furnace]

Granted, but you could only use it when you're asleep.

I want to be.

Granted, you get a plastic tobi mask


I want a chocolate factory