Mind Giving My Stuff a Read

[mrmcbowtie]

Hello fine folks!

I was wondering if there is anyone out there who would be willing to give my in-progress story a read and maybe give me some opinions? Currently, 5 chapters are out and I am keeping pace at releasing a new chapter every Tuesday and Friday :) I'd love any feedback y'all can give me

The story is called Windy Weather. It concerns a mysterious organization recruiting telekinetic teenagers to pilot giant robots. I don't want to tell too much for the sake of spoilers, but suffice to say that I consider the genre to be "Gothic Mecha."

Anyway, I figure I'll let the story speak for itself here: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/175948/windy-weather/

Thank you for any and all comments!

 

[RepresentingCaution]

The readers here are mostly silent. I recommend writing.com for getting feedback <3

 

[mrmcbowtie]

The readers here are mostly silent. I recommend writing.com for getting feedback <3

Thank you for the idea! I'll look into it

 

[Hathnuz]

Hello fine folks!

I was wondering if there is anyone out there who would be willing to give my in-progress story a read and maybe give me some opinions? Currently, 5 chapters are out and I am keeping pace at releasing a new chapter every Tuesday and Friday :) I'd love any feedback y'all can give me

The story is called Windy Weather. It concerns a mysterious organization recruiting telekinetic teenagers to pilot giant robots. I don't want to tell too much for the sake of spoilers, but suffice to say that I consider the genre to be "Gothic Mecha."

Anyway, I figure I'll let the story speak for itself here: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/175948/windy-weather/

Thank you for any and all comments!

Your writing is very good, so I can't say anything bad about that. But I feel like there's almost nothing important happening in your story so far. I know there are some foreshadowings here and there, but still, I want to see the mc meets the organization as quickly as possible! That's what I feel about it. In my opinion, you should make the pace faster, less flashbacks, and get into the conflict sooner. Other than that, no problem for now.

 

[Deleted member 29081]

You can take a peek at my story in the signature. If you like grimdark fantasies with gritty protagonists and moral dilemmas, I think my story will fit the bill.

 

[mrmcbowtie]

Your writing is very good, so I can't say anything bad about that. But I feel like there's almost nothing important happening in your story so far. I know there are some foreshadowings here and there, but still, I want to see the mc meets the organization as quickly as possible! That's what I feel about it. In my opinion, you should make the pace faster, less flashbacks, and get into the conflict sooner. Other than that, no problem for now.

Hi! I'm glad you're somewhat enjoying it! It is slow-- this is by design, it borrows a ton from the Gothic genre including the towering number of mysteries in the first act-- but I promise things pick up once the number of mysteries start to join together. Perhaps you might enjoy the newest chapter I put out today . . . it still hasn't fully introduced Ertragen (or has it?) but it has provided some answers to a few of the lingering questions.