Marriage advice?

RepresentingCaution

Level 37 ? ? Pronouns: she/whore ♀
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My money and sperm dispenser’s sandwich-making function is broken.
Any tips on how to repair it?
It is burning through the frozen foods too quickly, and I have too much volunteer work this week to cook.
 

weakwithwords

discord-less mudblood
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The idiot mc in Baka to Test divided a single ramen packet into many pieces to make it last for the rest of the month. He would eat an uncooked piece everyday.

Perhaps you can tide over with smoothies.

Last resort, air eating.
 

ChronicleCrawler

♠ItCrawls♠
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My money and sperm dispenser’s sandwich-making function is broken.
Any tips on how to repair it?
It is burning through the frozen foods too quickly, and I have too much volunteer work this week to cook.
Pizzas? Take outs? Instant Cup noodles? Microwave only food? Make some pasta sauce put it in the fridge? Let him learn to cook some easy pasta. I believe that's not too difficult. :blob_cookie:
 

BenJepheneT

Syro - Aphex Twin
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order food, and if all funds are lost, raid the neighbors. as your president i have passed the law of an unregulated Purge nights. once the clock strikes twelve you are free to raid Uncle Sammy from next door for frozen pizza and potato salad. stay safe, and god bless america
 

RepresentingCaution

Level 37 ? ? Pronouns: she/whore ♀
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order food, and if all funds are lost, raid the neighbors. as your president i have passed the law of an unregulated Purge nights. once the clock strikes twelve you are free to raid Uncle Sammy from next door for frozen pizza and potato salad. stay safe, and god bless america
Oh! Are we allowed to eat the neighbors too?
 

RepresentingCaution

Level 37 ? ? Pronouns: she/whore ♀
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How does he not know how to make a sandwich? :blob_dizzy:
My male unit is programmed to make sandwiches. When I had my first UTI, the medication said to take it with food, so the male unit made a sandwich and stuffed it in my mouth while I was sitting on the toilet on the phone with my mom. So the programming is there, but the function is broken for some reason. Maybe there is a bug in the program that needs to be fixed.
 

ZynGrand

The Winds Of Change Will Erode All Things.
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There are many ways to get malfunctioning machines to begin working again, such as smacking on it, blowing on it, throwing it out a window, some open wound therapy, cooling it down in the freezer, etc.

And, of course, you can try burying it at latitude -81.972431 and longitude -62.702850 and proceeding to get a new one in a different nation under a different name using stolen money from a incredibly illegal source using incredibly unethical methods.
 

RepresentingCaution

Level 37 ? ? Pronouns: she/whore ♀
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There are many ways to get malfunctioning machines to begin working again, such as smacking on it, blowing on it, throwing it out a window, some open wound therapy, cooling it down in the freezer, etc.

And, of course, you can try burying it at latitude -81.972431 and longitude -62.702850 and proceeding to get a new one in a different nation under a different name using stolen money from a incredibly illegal source using incredibly unethical methods.
One of my friends suggested I toggle the switch halfway down its front, but that only got it to dispense more sperm. Still no sandwiches.
 

RepresentingCaution

Level 37 ? ? Pronouns: she/whore ♀
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This just in! The male unit said I need to push a bottom on my creature to activate its sandwich-making function. Then it poked me for some strange reason. It is now making sandwiches as we speak!
 
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