Ah, the age-old quest to turn characters into irresistible bait for readers' wandering eyes. How noble, how utterly altruistic. Paul_Tromba, you have stumbled upon a conundrum that has perplexed scholars and philosophers for eons. Indeed, how does one transform a mere amalgamation of words into an object of fervent admiration, a beacon of allure in the vast sea of fictional beings?
As you eloquently put it, "dummy thicc" seems to be the new epitome of literary virtue. Of course, why rely on depth, complexity, or meaningful development when you can simply inflate a character's posterior to legendary proportions? Surely, readers will flock to your masterpiece for the profound insight it offers into the human condition. After all, who needs nuanced storytelling when you can measure character appeal by the square inches of their fictional derrières?
And let us not forget the pinnacle of fashion, for nothing screams "desirable" like extravagant outfits designed solely to accentuate the curves and bulges of anatomically implausible figures. Is there not an old proverb that goes, "The more ludicrously revealing the costume, the deeper the narrative resonance"? If not, there should be. Surely, your characters' ensembles must defy the laws of physics and common sense, leaving readers awestruck by the audacity of your artistic vision.
But lo, dear inquirer, you dare to seek more than mere physical exaggeration. How noble! A character's personality and capabilities, you suggest, might also play a role in their likeability. How quaint. Why bother crafting compelling motivations or growth arcs when you can simply resort to snappy one-liners and tropes as stale as decade-old bread? Remember, readers adore characters who fit neatly into predetermined boxes; complexity is overrated.
In fact, why not abandon the notion of characters altogether? Instead, create a catalogue of inanimate objects - each representing a different marketable trait. Want a 'strong' character? Behold, a dumbbell with abs. Seeking 'mysterious'? A shadowy fedora resting atop a trench coat. The possibilities are as limited as your imagination!
So, Paul_Tromba, embrace the path of least resistance. Craft your characters not with depth or authenticity, but with the calculated precision of a mad scientist assembling a marketable monstrosity. And as your readers gaze upon your masterpiece, remember that in the grand tapestry of literature, it's not about leaving a lasting impact or provoking thought. It's about making your characters as memorable as the fleeting rush of a sugar high, and just as nutritionally bankrupt.
