Magical Witch?✨Rebranding!

[ThrillingHuman]

It appeared to me, after losing a 9th potential customer, that being called "TrashyHuman" is not conductive to business.
It used to be, when people went to sell their soul for wealth or long life, they prefered somebody honest. Now they just want to be coddled and lied to, that everything will turn out all right and they will live happily ever after and that the person they entrust their possessions will not cross them at first opportunity - the fools.
Anyway, I now wish to change this "TrashyHuman" name into something more appealing to morons who'd come to me to eternally damn their souls for brief and transient moments of enjoyment.
I have traded my right to have pseudonyms not made out of two words to a Satyr for the next 26.853 years for a magical power and then sold the right for the first word of any psedonym I make not being either a T or some letter of a long dead alphabet - so basically I can only use T - for 0.9618271 century to a Fairy for three tonnes of virgin princess blood in pristine condition, so there's that. That the last word is Human, is an idea that is meant to make humans more comfortable with me. Though I am, most definitely and without a single doubt, a pure-blooded tried and true human. So it's not like I'm lying.

I have compiled my ideas in poll. Vote.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

TheOGbigT.

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

TameHuman?

 

[EternalEscape]

Hugh Mann.

 

[Deleted member 113259]

I think honesty is always the best policy when it comes to brands so if not trashy, then tireless is the next best choice.

 

[Terrate]

Can it be TerrateHuman? You know.. just saying... I do start with a T......

 

[georgelee5786]

None, don't change the name

 

[ThrillingHuman]

None, don't change the name

My honesty costs me deals!

 

[owotrucked]

TomboyHuman

 

[NotaNuffian]

 

[Rhaps]

I don't like choosing for somebody else, so I let RNG decide. And my D10 dictate you be call TirelessHuman.

So, are you interested in some tires?

 

[ThrillingHuman]

are you interested in some tires?

I don't drive. But if you do like cars I could connect you with a friend who will get you a rare car for cheap!

 

[RepresentingWrath]

I don't drive. But if you do like cars I could connect you with a friend who will get you a rare car for cheap!

?

 

[Deleted member 84247]

I don't drive. But if you do like cars I could connect you with a friend who will get you a rare car for cheap!

When did the warlock become your friend?

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

TinderHuman

 

[ACertainPassingUser]

TenderHuman

"Human flesh looks like beef, But the taste is more elusive"
- RandolphVampire983

"It’s like pork. Or maybe veal"
- CannibalConnosieurXX

 

[ThrillingHuman]

When did the warlock become your friend?

Never! Is when I'd lower myself to befriending a warlock - if he didn't sacrifice his liver, stomach, intestines and his left lung to a group of hungry ghosts in Shanghai which allowed me to make a very very tidy profit. After he did that I figured that having an edible friend is not so bad, even if he is barbaric. I even threw him in a potion of regeneration, as a true farmer friend ought to do

TenderHuman

View attachment 20554

"Human flesh looks like beef, But the taste is more elusive"
- RandolphVampire983

"It’s like pork. Or maybe veal"
- CannibalConnosieurXX

Actually I have traded the property of my flesh of being edible by any entity to a gluttonous Dragon for eternal youth. Which may or may not have involved shedding all of my flesh from all timelines ever to feed the beast and replacing what was taken with a self-regenerating meleable living material that is completely subservient to my will, but I will not go into that.

 

[Shard]

My honesty costs me deals!

Following the true path is often difficult. But remember, if you are known for being honest, other entities tend to be more willing to deal with you, even if humans are foolish about it.

 

[ThrillingHuman]

Following the true path is often difficult. But remember, if you are known for being honest, other entities tend to be more willing to deal with you, even if humans are foolish about it.

My reputation with the entities is flawless - and reputation has staying power when it comes to beings that take time as more of a suggestion.
Which is why it's easy to see if a witch has talent - the entities will gladly enter a losing trade with a beginner witch that will most certainly become a Great given time, and they already know if a witch will because they literally know the future.
That reminds me of the graduation exam at the Alexandrian Academy for Infernal Lawyers where I summoned King Oberon himself and he gifted me a Unicorn horn staff that I later fashioned into my flying broom's focus.
Everybody - presiding Academician included - was green with envy and awe (safe for the witches that already had green skin, such as the Wicked Witch of the East)

Besides, TrashyHuman is a pseudonym specifically for humans. Only these short-shelved beings have bizarre notions of morality that would make perfectly reasonable actions of a professional morally reprehensible. For the entities I am more well known as the Truthful Witch, at least as of now.

 

[Shard]

Fair. I don't even go by a name except to humans. I'm just that weird spikey crystal thing.