A little late to the party, but I have been summoned!! Nice to see ya again
@TheMonotonePuppet !
what do you consider love? Is it a feeling of closeness, of safeness, of dependency?
but then codependency is toxic too!
so your partner should have a life outside of you. You should each remain individuals while complimenting the other.
but being deeply insecure, would you bear to know that your partner does not need you? If there is no need, what is there?
a mere want, a desire?
what good is desire if not all consuming, a torturing flame of hellfire in the soul, burning away the reason within?
what is that desire based in? Is it compatibility? So if you start to disagree with your partner, you can no longer be together?
but you are insecure, you do not want that to happen.
you need them, but not like fire. Like drowning in the ocean, you gulp in the salt water instead of air. You know what you need but as you are dragged down by the chains of your despair you find yourself unable to reach for the surface, for oxygen, for something purer than this.
and so you craft a mask that you think they would like. A little doll just to their taste. You know their taste after all.
and you watch that one you love caress the doll you pain stakingly made. You watch as they love it more than they love you.
you, the horrible monster under the bed. The creature hiding in the closet. The whining street mutt that dashes shadow to shadow, hoping not to curse people with a glance of that ugly flea bitten coat.
but you are the doll. No, you are trapped inside it. Rotting. You’re flesh decays as maggots consume your ugliness leaving only emptiness.
the doll continues to smile.
your lover continues to smile at the lovely dead thing in their hands.
oh, how sad it is.
drinking poison to quench thirst.
the sin of greed, would it be satisfied knowing that it possesses everything of that little doll? Or would it rage and gnash its teeth, seeking what used to be there? Something is gone. Missing.
the doll is hollow. The soul is gone.
but it was trapped. How could it be gone? It must just be sleeping.
so greed howls and screams.
but the doll is still smiling.
so in an act of all consuming fiery desire as the little doll’s lifeless heart once so desperately wished for,
greed reaches a hand out.
and uses it to smash the doll.
revealing the smattered mess of digested self left behind.
And then greed cries, as it lost this as it lost all else.
oh well.
there will be other dolls.
Human response: Toxic relationships are harder to judge when actual love exists. Maybe it is mixed with other things. But just because you are hurt doesn’t mean you can hurt others. It’s very easy to justify all of your actions with “this is why I am like this.” Like a festering wound, often times the bad can be cut out to fix the issue as long as things have not reached a breaking point and both parties whole heartedly change. However, sometimes the mere presence of both parties can trigger issues, relapses even. Can you not resent a partner that used to always listen to you now standing up for themself? Can you forgive someone you oppressed you and hurt you without allowing yourself to be walked all over and abused again?
