The story certainly has its merits and demerits. I enjoyed the ruthlessness of the main character, and am interested in his background. He is suitably mysterious. I'm judging you Ssthat. That opinion of yours was worth zip. How is that helpful?
First off, the chapter is primarily dialogue, to the detriment of the world. We don't know how the buildings look, how roads appear beneath the feet of the protagonist. Is the world grimy and filthy, caked in excrement, and lined with those stuck in homeless poverty? What's the quality of the clothes here? What do the nobles look like? What does the character look like that? What kind of mask is it? Is it an expensive fitted mask? Or a cheaply-rigged mask borne of the haphazard laboring of the MC? You don't have to include everything I mentioned, and there are so many other aspects. For example, that all-important brothel could be described in detail. It is the most referenced place in the story.
Second off, the sexual aspects of the "dance" are out of place and just really odd. It could be fit in reasonably, but it is very far from that right now. I would recommend excising it.
And tying into the dialogue and not much else thing, the best thing about first-person POV is that you get to know the main character's personality and emotions in the moment, personally. I would recommend covering more of the internal monologue and emotions that Shido has.
