Is this gross?

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ThisAdamGuy

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I know this is a weird question, but I honestly can't tell if this crosses the line into gross territory or not. So, first a quick, a quick lesson in Henry Riderology: Henry (who is a fifteen year old girl) is in love with her best friend, Ethan, who is in love with their other best friend, Jade. In the part I'm currently writing, they're being picked on by a bully, and Ethan (who is usually the levelheaded straight man of the group) snaps and knocks the bully out. Henry then has to turn away "so he wouldn't see how turned on I was."

So yeah. On one hand, it's not saying anything explicitly sexual. On the other, Henry is still a fifteen year old girl. So, would you say that crosses the line into gross territory?
 

Empress_Omnii

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It at very least reads as sexist. But is there reason for a fifteen year old to jump to such an explicit thought?
The only time that I'd not complain about the content if it is meant to be gross. For example, this child was abused sexually. For it to make sense as to why she would be in that state from watching that and why she has this knowledge.

But otherwise? Why is she, a 15 year old getting turned on, and is aware of it. From someone being knocked out? It at least feels extremely misogynistic without context.
 

ThisAdamGuy

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is there reason for a fifteen year old to jump to such an explicit thought?
It's meant more as a joke than anything. She has thoughts like that a lot, like when Ethan tackles Jade to save her from something and Henry thinks "Aw, I wish he'd tackle me like that." To go deeper into the story than is probably needed, she was made the Hunter when she was only twelve, and her whole self-image is tied to being the Hunter and all the violence and bloodshed that goes with it, so it goes without saying that her development was a little stunted. Not to mention that she's a klaon who feeds on human laughter, so jokes and off-kilter remarks are practically part of her culture. So yeah, seeing the guy she loves punch somebody and thinking something along the lines of "Wow, that was hot" isn't out of character for her.
 

Empress_Omnii

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It's meant more as a joke than anything.
Then to answer your question. Yes. A young child having such sexual remarks for the purpose of a joke is vile.

Again I would only think it is okay if it is meant to be gross and uses that for something. If it has a purpose beyond either a joke or gross factor. Where it is used to condemn something or explain the environment... or something. Not a joke...
 

ThisAdamGuy

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A young child having such sexual remarks for the purpose of a joke is vile.
I feel like you're overreacting here. If you don't think the joke is funny, that's one thing, but you're acting like a slightly edgier way of saying "I'm attracted to that" is the same as vividly describing her performing a sexual act. The fact that you decided to complain about misogyny of all things doesn't help either...
 

LilRora

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...Why would it be gross?

I have an issue with your wording though. She does not "have to" turn away. If she felt strange and embarrassed and turned away, it's fine. If she felt some compulsion to turn away so he wouldn't see it, or if she was purposefully hiding it, then that can be really weird depending on context. A girl at that age generally wouldn't be aware of such things to the point she could name, recognize, and consciously hide it.
 

Viator

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I don't think it's particularly gross or anything, and maybe I am out-of-touch, but I don't get misandry vibes either. It's not all women getting turned on by this, just this specific one. And let me tell you, i have heard women admit they were turned on by weirder things. Fact is being a teenager is uncomfortable and adjusting hormones means you're not completely in control of your bodies reactions. It makes sense for a teen character to struggle a little bit. As long as you don't dwell on such things at uncomfortable lengths it seems fine to me. Also, just because she's turned on doesn't mean she has to act on it any further, or be a slave to such feelings.

All in all, I think if you ask yourself the question, "is this kind of thing a common human struggle with this gender and age?" It should be okay to express briefly. Just don't let it be the focus.
 

ThisAdamGuy

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...Why would it be gross?
Ask Omnii. Apparently people do legitimately have an issue with things like this.

If she felt strange and embarrassed and turned away, it's fine.
Yeah, it's an embarrassment thing. Henry has no filter and 100% wears her emotions on her sleeve, so she turns away because she knows what she's thinking will be painted (clown paint lol) all over her face.
 

Empress_Omnii

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The fact that you decided to complain about misogyny of all things doesn't help either...
Because of the idea that knocking out someone will turn a girl on. Especially for a young girl... I would be fine if it were a woman who has kinks or something? But why push that idea onto a child.
 

ThisAdamGuy

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Because of the idea that knocking out someone will turn a girl on. Especially for a young girl... I would be fine if it were a woman who has kinks or something? But why push that idea onto a child.
Because Henry have big hammer. Hammer for hit things. Henry like hit things. Ethan hit thing? Oogah boogah, Henry like!
 

AncestorDuck

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Because of the idea that knocking out someone will turn a girl on. Especially for a young girl... I would be fine if it were a woman who has kinks or something? But why push that idea onto a child.
Turn-ons are not just something sexual. When I was younger, I always felt excited my body growing hot watching soccer or MMA.
 

The_Bip_Boop2003

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It depends. Is she usually acting like that? I think that's the most important part. The sex of the characters doesn't play much of a role here; it's the personality and generally established behavior.

We're speaking of teenagers here; everything goes. Boys or girls, both can be, let's say, less than prude. But again, there is also the overall tone of the story and what you want.

If it's out of the theme for a simple joke, then that's a problem and can be gross, but this example not really in a void. The little tidbit makes it hard to be conclusive.
 

Empress_Omnii

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Turn-ons are not just something sexual. When I was younger, I always felt excited my body growing hot watching soccer or MMA.
I wouldn't be complaining if it is meant to be read this way. But what was written doesn't suggest that this is the point. If it isn't sexual then it should be brought up. Teach the readers about this, that is great and all. But that wouldn't be a gross? That wouldn't have someone ask if it is something they should change.

If I misunderstood and the turn on is for a similar reason as to what you said. I still think it needs to be discussed more. Not in the same line, that would be too wordy. But it needs to be brought up. Otherwise why does it exist? What does having a young child get turned on bring? It isn't funny, it instead treats violence as a normal thing to be turned on by and applies it to a child. I really don't mind if the intention is more than a joke. But it is gross for a child to get turned on sexually and to treat it as a joke, there is no reason to add it unless it exists as more than just a one off line.
 

ThisAdamGuy

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it is gross for a child to get turned on sexually and to treat it as a joke
Again, you're acting like I wrote a full fledged sex scene here. If you don't think the joke is funny, that's fine, but reacting like I said "And then Henry and Ethan both tore their clothes off and immediately started banging" just makes you sound like a pearl clutcher.
 

Racosharko

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So, would you say that crosses the line into gross territory?
Henry then has to turn away "so he wouldn't see how turned on I was."
For me, Yes, a bit.
But if that is the tone of your story, I don't think your readers would mind, since that's what they voted for.
if it's all the same level of ickiness, people wouldn't pay attention to it.
 

ThisAdamGuy

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For me, Yes, a bit.
But if that is the tone of your story, I don't think your readers would mind, since that's what they voted for.
if it's all the same level of ickiness, people wouldn't pay attention to it.
Like I said, this is the most "explicit" it gets, but she had thoughts like that a lot. Like, when Ethan tackles Jade to save her from something and Henry thinks "Why doesn't he ever tackle me like that?" At one point he pulls her back just before she walks off a building and she ends up falling on top of him instead. He pushes her off, and she thinks "Aww, what's the rush?"
 

Empress_Omnii

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I don't think it's particularly gross or anything, and maybe I am out-of-touch, but I don't get misandry vibes either. It's not all women getting turned on by this, just this specific one. And let me tell you, i have heard women admit they were turned on by weirder things. Fact is being a teenager is uncomfortable and adjusting hormones means you're not completely in control of your bodies reactions. It makes sense for a teen character to struggle a little bit. As long as you don't dwell on such things at uncomfortable lengths it seems fine to me. Also, just because she's turned on doesn't mean she has to act on it any further, or be a slave to such feelings.
I only get the misandry from the fact that big man being violent = sexual reaction.
It is a harmful stereotype.

Regardless of the fact women can be turned on by violence, this is worse because it implies that women inherently predisposed to enjoying this violence due to it being seen in a child.

Sure hormones make sense. But then why treat it as a joke. Make it informative. Use it for something. Not for a funny.


Again, you're acting like I wrote a full fledged sex scene here. If you don't think the joke is funny, that's fine, but reacting like I said "And then Henry and Ethan both tore their clothes off and immediately started banging" just makes you sound like a pearl clutcher.
I am treating it as it is. Unless you do intend this turning on to be something different than sexual.
But if the intent is. Man do bonk = sexual attraction? For a child? You asked "is this gross" you understand why it might be. Yet you argue and complain when I explain that yes. I find it gross for a variety of reasons? I don't need you to change it. But don't call what I am telling you bullshit because you don't want to accept the answer to the question. If you didn't understand that it might seem gross then this forum page wouldn't exist.
 

CharlesEBrown

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I know this is a weird question, but I honestly can't tell if this crosses the line into gross territory or not. So, first a quick, a quick lesson in Henry Riderology: Henry (who is a fifteen year old girl) is in love with her best friend, Ethan, who is in love with their other best friend, Jade. In the part I'm currently writing, they're being picked on by a bully, and Ethan (who is usually the levelheaded straight man of the group) snaps and knocks the bully out. Henry then has to turn away "so he wouldn't see how turned on I was."

So yeah. On one hand, it's not saying anything explicitly sexual. On the other, Henry is still a fifteen year old girl. So, would you say that crosses the line into gross territory?
Maybe just reword it as "I was embarrassed by how much that turned me on and had to look away for a moment." or something a little more "innocent"?
 
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