Is it bad? Help Me!!!!

[flareofhoarfrost]

I need heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!
This is what I got after 5 days and it's pathetic imho... lol
I am new here, so I'm a bit confused right now. Can someone read it and give me an honest feedback?
Is it that bad?
Link - The Revenant

 

[Worthy39]

View attachment 44170

I need heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!
This is what I got after 5 days and it's pathetic imho... lol
I am new here, so I'm a bit confused right now. Can someone read it and give me an honest feedback?
Is it that bad?
Link - The Revenant

Yeah, I don't know how to tell you this, but that's actually not bad at all after five days.

 

[Avarice_Of_The_Seven]

View attachment 44170

I need heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!
This is what I got after 5 days and it's pathetic imho... lol
I am new here, so I'm a bit confused right now. Can someone read it and give me an honest feedback?
Is it that bad?
Link - The Revenant

Your formatting is messed up. Or, was that your attempt at being unique?

 

[Bimbanana]

Yeah, I don't know how to tell you this, but that's actually not bad at all after five days.

Your formatting is messed up. Or, was that your attempt at being unique?

Chapter 1 and what follows after are actually enjoyable enough

For me, its your synopsis and the prologue that makes it kinda "turn-off"-ish i think?
Readers dont know what are they going to read, and the first two things you gave to them (synopsis & prologue), are filled with blurry questions.

If you dont understands what i'm saying, you can ask the dude 2 post above me. He knows me better than myself.

Oh, and what the dude 1 post above me saying also true.

 

[flareofhoarfrost]

Your formatting is messed up. Or, was that your attempt at being unique?

Is it bad? I'll change it.

Yeah, I don't know how to tell you this, but that's actually not bad at all after five days.

Thank you. You gave me some hope.

Chapter 1 and what follows after are actually enjoyable enough

For me, its your synopsis and the prologue that makes it kinda "turn-off"-ish i think?
Readers dont know what are they going to read, and the first two things you gave to them (synopsis & prologue), are filled with blurry questions.

If you dont understands what i'm saying, you can ask the dude 2 post above me. He knows me better than myself.

Oh, and what the dude 1 post above me saying also true.

Do you have any suggestions to fix that problem?

 

[Bimbanana]

sorry dude. I've been writing suggestions three times and erase it again three times since i feel like that's how i like to write, and we're a different person

Point is, Synopsis is all about marketing, first thing what readers will buy.
Sell what's the most unique/sell-able in your story there. Write it with the intentions of you want make readers feel "Hahaha" or "Oooh interesting!" or whatever.
No need to play it safe (which you're doing now). There are thousands of story out there, and you need to stand out

Bye
Oh, also your prologue is too cryptic. No one understand that except you and its not that intriguing either. My personal opinion is: Just delete it. Your chapter 1 is more interesting anyway.

 

[flareofhoarfrost]

sorry dude. I've been writing suggestions three times and erase it again three times since i feel like that's how i like to write, and we're a different person

Point is, Synopsis is all about marketing, first thing what readers will buy.
Sell what's the most unique/sell-able in your story there. Write it with the intentions of you want make readers feel "Hahaha" or "Oooh interesting!" or whatever.
No need to play it safe (which you're doing now). There are thousands of story out there, and you need to stand out

Bye
Oh, also your prologue is too cryptic. No one understand that except you and its not that intriguing either. My personal opinion is: Just delete it. Your chapter 1 is more interesting anyway.

Alright. Thanks for the advice.