Is hinting at SA done to child too much?

[Eldoria]

so its better to refer to it when he is taking revenge on his abusers (much, much later)? @Eldoria, this is definitely why I asked this question.

I'll give my perspective as a reader... some readers may find it uncomfortable or even traumatizing. There are many ways to narrate the tragic setting of children without resorting to SA.

In the real world, even criminals have a code of ethics. Some criminals won't touch children. And others view children SA as behavior worse than that of animals.

In prison, criminals who commit children SA generally face even more brutal oppression from other inmates. They who commit children SA are considered the lowest caste of criminals.

 

[c37]

I'll give my perspective as a reader... some readers may find it uncomfortable or even traumatizing. There are many ways to narrate the tragic setting of children without resorting to SA.

In the real world, even criminals have a code of ethics. Some criminals won't touch children. And others view children SA as behavior worse than that of animals.

In prison, criminals who commit children SA generally face even more brutal oppression from other inmates. They who commit children SA are considered the lowest caste of criminals.

Hmm, I'll consider this.

 

[LuoirM]

Just write

If reader uncomfortable, they can drop or report.
If they drop, whatever.
If they report, two things can happen:
The story either gets taken down or it stays
If it stays, whatever
If the story gets taken down: You know the answer for real that you shouldn't write that scene, and you can learn

 

[c37]

Just write

If reader uncomfortable, they can drop or report.
If they drop, whatever.
If they report, two things can happen:
The story either gets taken down or it stays
If it stays, whatever
If the story gets taken down: You know the answer for real that you shouldn't write that scene, and you can learn.

Aren't you very encouraging?

 

[greyblob]

Spoiler: A draft of how i want to refer to it.

Ninety-four silver, six more, and I won’t be dragged back by the collar tonight.

He remembered the last night as his thighs still burned.

Aegis, a young cambion with four horns, walked down a stone road. Gray-black buildings passed as his lean figure moved forward. His burning red pupils followed the pouch in his hand.

CLANK.

Coins clanked as Aegis tossed the pouch into the air. It was small —Too small to matter to anyone but him. A low whistle slipped past his lips as the pouch landed neatly in his palm.

This is definitely not the final version.

Just remove 'his thighs still hurt' and replace it with a shudder or a knot in his stomach or smthing.

this is fairly mild anyway.

 

[Callarel_04]

I might be dim, but 'his thighs still hurt' didn't connect me to SA. I would have thought that he was beaten or something if it wasn't for the title.

But yes, I think it can be done in a more tasteful way than physical effect of the fact. Like in Tsukihime, a SA girl was described (in a memory) as she was staring longingly down at the other children playing in the yard, and that she was often called into the bedroom, then gradually becoming more and more quiet and stoic.

But again, this is quite a controversial topic. Only include it if it's a defining part of that character.

 

[c37]

Okay, I think this approach will be better. Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[Eldoria]

I might be dim, but 'his thighs still hurt' didn't connect me to SA. I would have thought that he was beaten or something if it wasn't for the title.

But yes, I think it can be done in a more tasteful way than physical effect of the fact. Like in Tsukihime, a SA girl was described (in a memory) as she was staring longingly down at the other children playing in the yard, and that she was often called into the bedroom, then gradually becoming more and more quiet and stoic.

But again, this is quiet a controversial topic. Only include it if it's a defining part of that character.

Honestly just reading this answer.. I feel uncomfortable.

 

[Callarel_04]

Honestly just reading this answer.. I feel uncomfortable.

yeah that's the intended effect of that memory. The world in that story is quite fucked up.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

after your character is a full fledged adult, they can talk about the past.
this generates sympathy for your poor good character.
it also makes the villain that did it, that much more of a villain.
remember... the worse the villain, the better the hero that overcomes them is.
without a horrible villain, the hero isn't half as big and important.

in this way, the villain is actually as important if not more important than the hero.

the bigger the villain, the bigger hero needed to overcome things.
the more villainous of a villain, the more righteous the hero becomes.
the more wrong is done to good characters?
the more license to act the hero gets, in the pursuit of justice or revenge.

the hero is, in all actuality, defined by the villain.

the more of that "kicked in the guts" feeling the reader feels, learning of the past wrongs done
the more it drives this all home.

when i re-read my own work on yet another editing pass...
I already know what's coming, after so many reads.
but if I still get that visceral, kicked in the solar plexus feeling, reading it yet again...
i know i did my job, I should be making the reader feel something.
actual emotional impact the reader experiences is difficult to do.
you make the reader scared, feel the hurt, maybe wipe a tear.
that's writing with emotional impact.

Honestly just reading this answer.. I feel uncomfortable.

that's the idea, eldoria.
Look, you go to a scary movie, and you pay to get scared.
people read crime stories, true crime and fictitious crime alike, to be horrified.
you're uncomfortable just *thinking* about it?
now imagine reading about it. (you can't, its too much maybe)

but that's invoking a strong emotion in you as the reader.

here... hate, disgust, a desire for revenge.

now the MC? has a sort of "license to kill"
you understand the primal forces driving them.

and... don't ever read hardboil noir crime, eldoria.
horrifying and p!ssing off the reader? is stock in trade.

 

[c37]

that's the idea, eldoria.
Look, you go to a scary movie, and you pay to get scared.
people read crime stories, true crime and fictitious crime alike, to be horrified.
you're uncomfortable just *thinking* about it?
now imagine reading about it. (you can't, its too much maybe)

Ehhh maybe let's not go there? I agree with the rest of your points though.

 

[georgelee5786]

Just be careful with describing it. Dont write the act itself. Handle it with respect.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

Just be careful with describing it. Dont write the act itself. Handle it with respect.

exactly. that's why the victim recounting it, as an adult with problems in their past. Its why it works better. You still get to shock the reader. You still get sympathy for the victim. The hero still gets added license to do outrageous things now, and it floats. As long as you show how broken the victim is, recounting it. That ensures you're not "glorifying" it, its not gratuitous. I think an added bonus, is that the MC if its them, is no longer "perfect" and "untouchable". They're now more human. They can be hurt. They've been hurt. They get a little complexity, they're not just a comic book hero wearing a cape with a dashing smile and something snarky to say.

 

[seavmun88]

It depends. If you depict it with full respect and sincerity and zero glorification or excuses, the answer is "yes". Any other way the the answer is "yes tf is wrong with you"

 

[TinaMigarlo]

I always lean towards heavier and darker themes.
for me, it seems to raise the stakes somewhat.
more villainous villains, make for a more heroic hero.
I also like to show the "toll" that it all takes, on the hero.
just because my hero "wins", the hero doesn't feel like celebrating.
my MC is typically jaded and sick of all the violence and human nature in general.
winning isn't really winning.

 

[c37]

I always lean towards heavier and darker themes.
for me, it seems to raise the stakes somewhat.
more villainous villains, make for a more heroic hero.
I also like to show the "toll" that it all takes, on the hero.
just because my hero "wins", the hero doesn't feel like celebrating.
my MC is typically jaded and sick of all the violence and human nature in general.
winning isn't really winning.

I wouldn't call my hero righteous, but I want him to suffer so that when he comes out and takes revenge, it feels worth it.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

I wouldn't call my hero righteous, but I want him to suffer so that when he comes out and takes revenge, it feels worth it.

I think we're basically saying same/similar thing.
no, I dig.
your hero is mad as hell and he isn't going to take it anymore. He can't take it anymore.
revenge, vengeance, something.
when its bad enough of a "thing"?
it makes sense for the hero to fight like something;s trying to claw its way out of him.
it suddenly makes sense for the MC to risk his life, to see it through.
he's willing to trade his own life, for theirs, to see it through.
he can't be intimidated.
he can't be bought off.
he can't be reasoned with.

its what any real villain fears most.
total and complete commitment.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

The most effective case of revealing this kind of detail I've seen was the former abused kid (now a teen I think) stating matter-of-factly some things that were done to him - what he says sounds ambiguous and innocent at first, but the person he's telling it to realizes what he's describing with mounting horror, and as the "speaker" gets to the more graphic parts, the attention shifted from his words to the other's reactions/emotions of mounting horror.

Least effective was a character mentioning being raped at least once every five pages. The author at first defended it as "showing her trauma" but when I actually counted the number of times in a chapter and suggested that there were other ways to state it, she actually thanked me and made some revisions.

 

[c37]

The most effective case of revealing this kind of detail I've seen was the former abused kid (now a teen I think) stating matter-of-factly some things that were done to him - what he says sounds ambiguous and innocent at first, but the person he's telling it to realizes what he's describing with mounting horror, and as the "speaker" gets to the more graphic parts, the attention shifted from his words to the other's reactions/emotions of mounting horror.

Least effective was a character mentioning being raped at least once every five pages. The author at first defended it as "showing her trauma" but when I actually counted the number of times in a chapter and suggested that there were other ways to state it, she actually thanked me and made some revisions.

Obviously, repeating it every once in a while is kind of insulting to the actual victims (not blaming the author).