I'm genuinely asking a question here (about harem)

[Irl_Rat]

Waiting for @K5Rakitan to give some based takes.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Waiting for @K5Rakitan to give some based takes.

The real point to having a harem (or reverse harem) is to have more adults available to watch the kids while the adults have sex.
By the way, do you have any ideas for entertaining my toddler? I've been doing some of these things lately:

Also, cooking and cleaning are a lot more difficult with a little one running around. Having multiple incomes and either taking turns doing chores or having an adult who is the designated homemaker helps a lot. Many hands make light work.

 

[CarburetorThompson]

The real point to having a harem (or reverse harem) is to have more adults available to watch the kids while the adults have sex.
By the way, do you have any ideas for entertaining my toddler? I've been doing some of these things lately:

Also, cooking and cleaning are a lot more difficult with a little one running around. Having multiple incomes and either taking turns doing chores or having an adult who is the designated homemaker helps a lot. Many hands make light work.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

View attachment 12411

Thanks for the suggestion, but that doesn't match our parenting style.

 

[Irl_Rat]

View attachment 12411

Average American child

 

[Cipiteca396]

let alone being productive, I seriously doubt you'll have time to do your second hobby or personal time when you wanted to be alone.

Bold of you to assume interacting with cute boys/girls isn't a hobby.

For people who genuinely want a harem, the appeal should be those interactions. Anyone who's exhausted by interacting with the people they care about should steer clear.

Though it's not like you can never be alone. The best thing about adult people is that they usually have the capacity to take care of themselves. So you don't have to spend every second of your time babysitting them, just most of it. If they genuinely care about you, then you can ask for some alone time and actually get it.

---

In most cases though, people don't genuinely want a harem.

As most shitty harem stories can show, some people just want to catch all the Pokémon. You've gotta get the tsundere childhood friend, the naughty onee-san neighbor, the sexy teacher/librarian, the athletic birdbrain, the shy but sweet loner, and all the other flavors. And if you don't get them, your MC is a beta cuck for letting a single other sentient being have a shot at romance that doesn't involve them.

Uhh... That aside, the other thing worth noting is rather simple. A starving man doesn't dream of a packet of crackers. He wants a banquet with all of the food he can imagine, and he dreams of eating everything there is to eat until he chokes and dies. Harem is the same. Lonely people who want a little bit of companionship let their dreams grow and grow until what they want becomes impossible.

Also, having two hands is really limiting, so having more is physically appealing. As you said though, there's no need to have an actual romantic relationship if you just want good sex. In that way, harem is way less appealing than polyamory.

 

[BenJepheneT]

View attachment 12411

you gave that child a bullpup

he'll never shut up about it when he grows up

god

what have you done

 

[AryaX]

I find harem an attractive idea... and yet pursuing a relationship with even just one real person feels like its really not worth it in real life... and yet, even with that in mind, I still find the idea attractive... it feels like... different parts of my brain are pulling in different directions...

 

[Ispheria]

This obviously doesn't apply to everyone but some people are just in love with multiple people and wish they could be in a relationship with all of them at once

 

[BearlyAlive]

Finally someone else notices the logistic problems of having a harem!

Every G/B needs to get the same amount of love (or "love"), the same amount of time spent to not feel jealous and maybe go yandere or just otherwise remove some contenstants, they need to made felt special BUT not special enough to think they're more loved than the others (all while still tracking the time used on them to be impartial), you can't neglect any of them or they might join forces against you or just outright leave. If you have a base or aren't keeping all of your G/Bs with you, you either need to keep your stationed members from contacting the ones travelling with you or you need to keep track of time even more.
And you need to earn enough money to keep all your members fed, happy and comfortable. That would mean 5-7 dates a week, doing "it" almost every day (and yes, too much of something good can still turn into something bad, not even counting diseases etc.) maybe even multiple times. And you still need to be on guard of other people making your harem members feel special enough that they'd be willing to leave you.

Unless min-maxing a bunch of variables that might turn against you at the smallest misstep turns you on, I'd say you need to keep away from the logistic nightmare that is a harem.

And let's be honest: The thing that keeps most harems going is bad writing.

 

[Ispheria]

This talk about min maxing reminds me of action button's review of a really old dating sim

 

[Cipiteca396]

doing "it" almost every day (and yes, too much of something good can still turn into something bad, not even counting diseases etc.) maybe even multiple times.

---

Spoiler: Maybe this is a rant on why polyamory is better than harem? I dunno, but it's too long to leave out of spoilers.

To be honest, your explanation is too mechanical. A lot of the problems you mention are real problems, but they stop being significant if you realize that the harem members are actual people, and not objects to be hoarded.

they might join forces against you or just outright leave. If you have a base or aren't keeping all of your G/Bs with you, you either need to keep your stationed members from contacting the ones travelling with you or you need to keep track of time even more.

And you still need to be on guard of other people making your harem members feel special enough that they'd be willing to leave you.

So what if they want to leave? That's their decision.

Why do you need to isolate them? By starving them of human contact, you're exacerbating the problem, forcing them to become dependent entirely on you. It would be better if they could get along or even love each other; but if not, then it may be time to accept that they don't belong in a harem in the first place.

If they love another person more, then what possible reason would you have to force them to stay? That's just spiteful. And if you're keeping multiple lovers, it's only fair if they do the same, no?

And you need to earn enough money to keep all your members fed, happy and comfortable

They aren't pets. They can either take care of themselves or at least help you to lighten the burden.

Unless min-maxing a bunch of variables that might turn against you at the smallest misstep turns you on, I'd say you need to keep away from the logistic nightmare that is a harem.

And let's be honest: The thing that keeps most harems going is bad writing.

Yes, that's absolutely true, lol. It takes hard work to maintain ONE relationship, let alone more. Most authors and most readers don't have the patience to put that kind of effort into a story.

 

[Deleted member 57675]

Spoiler: Maybe this is a rant on why polyamory is better than harem? I dunno, but it's too long to leave out of spoilers.

To be honest, your explanation is too mechanical. A lot of the problems you mention are real problems, but they stop being significant if you realize that the harem members are actual people, and not objects to be hoarded.



So what if they want to leave? That's their decision.

Why do you need to isolate them? By starving them of human contact, you're exacerbating the problem, forcing them to become dependent entirely on you. It would be better if they could get along or even love each other; but if not, then it may be time to accept that they don't belong in a harem in the first place.

If they love another person more, then what possible reason would you have to force them to stay? That's just spiteful. And if you're keeping multiple lovers, it's only fair if they do the same, no?


They aren't pets. They can either take care of themselves or at least help you to lighten the burden.


Yes, that's absolutely true, lol. It takes hard work to maintain ONE relationship, let alone more. Most authors and most readers don't have the patience to put that kind of effort into a story.

I get the feeling if they meant how harem was like in the old days, then it'd be more applicable how people think then. And there are still people who have multiple wives per their culture/religion/etc. that allows them but they need be capable afford taking care everyone.

And thats not even talking about the feud between your partners for the time you spent playing favorites with partners and their kids. Big families and even little families can have favorites and make peope turn bitter in those relationships. Maybe harem in ancient dramas was exaggerated but, if you look in history its defnitely not all peachy as what some harem stories perhaps might make it to be as what some mentione on forum. Some of it was pretty brutal how other partners treat the other after the one person they're all connected to has left the world...Then again, I don't read harem stories so eh. Probably bc ik reality its ...

 

[BearlyAlive]

I was taking a more satirical approach and tried to mock the protagonist-centric view harem fans seem to have while at it. Those people that can react with death threats when MC doesn't "get" X character.

Yeah, in RL harem members would be a group of people, but let's be honest in the "harem genre" most of the time people get nerfed down to traits and those traits then get turned into collectibles.

Most harem stories are nothing more than an all-female gotta-catch-em-all marathon.

Yes, there are exceptions and yes, those are most of the time really good, but that's it; they're the exceptions to the rule.

 

[InceTagn]

There is a personal reason why I do not feel Harem appealing.
I knew someone who had a harem. He was rich enough to take care of his family, but in the end, he did not have enough time or enough energy., he was cucked with almost all his partners.
My Grandfather was among those people.

Forget everything I said above.

- some people want a harem in real life because they just consider their partner like a piece of the collection.

- other because the mental satisfaction seems great enough to ignore all the problem that comes with it.

- and some are just confident in their ability to manage the situation.

Harem

 

[KiraMinoru]

A harem doesn’t need to be all about sex. It can simply be about a group of people connecting on a deeper level and supporting each other through their endeavours, problems, and dreams in their own way. You don’t need to be at everyone’s beck and call or fucking like monkeys 24/7 just because it’s a harem, just being there every now and then when someone needs you the most during the most difficult times in their lives is enough. There might be some exhausting days where you end up having a lot of things to do, but doing and achieving those things together with the people you’ve come to love and grown fond of has its own feeling of fulfillment and can be quite rewarding.

The reason harems are so hated on is because it’s very difficult to do them correctly and most people only ever come across those that don’t do harems justice with it’s complexities by going about it in a formulaic manner that fails to really bring those characters to life. To create deep lasting connections between each member and properly interweave the complexities of their relationships is no easy task. Each member must be given their own role to play. Each one needs to have their own thoughts. They need to exist for a reason. When they are part of a scene, they must add something rather than simply being there sitting in the background twiddling their thumbs looking pretty like a trophy.

Each member should be able to pull their own weight. If they can do so, then a harem isn’t as exhausting as you’d think. In fact, with the support of all those members, each of you can actually all do the things you enjoy with plenty of time for yourselves while living a much easier peaceful life.

It really all depends on the personalities of the members brought into a harem. Which is why you should be very careful and selective when bringing a member into a harem.

 

[Cipiteca396]

He was rich enough to take care of his family, but in the end, he did not have enough time or enough energy., he was cucked with almost all his partners.
My Grandfather was among those people.

Your grandfather was a member of a rich man's harem and had an affair?

 

[InceTagn]

Grandmother was a member of a rich man harem and had an affair with my grandfather