I'm genuinely asking a question here (about harem)

[Kilolo]

I understand if it's about liking a harem genre as a story (be it anime/manga/novels), I mean I do read some of it as form of amusement.

but sometimes, just sometimes. there's lots of people that seems genuinely wanting to have a group of harem for themselves, be it a writer who wrote about a story about the MC that proactively looking for a harem or a real person who saying that they actually wanting it.

like, why?

I mean the way I see it, those seems to be overly exhausting to me. it's not like you could have sex unlimited times a day and wouldn't get bored of it even after years of doing so.
and if you wanted to do a threesome with different girls everyday, hiring prostitutes sounds much more easier.

and the more harem you got, the more time consuming it is. your schedule would definitely jam-packed to take care of the girls. sounds like something that would turns into a chore in no time.
let alone being productive, I seriously doubt you'll have time to do your second hobby or personal time when you wanted to be alone.

so what's people seek in harem that makes them think the whole trouble is actually worth it?
and while we're at it, what's your idea of managing a harem? was it each girl got one day each of a week or something?

 

[RepresentingWrath]

It's called wish-fulfillment.

 

[Kilolo]

It's called wish-fulfillment.

that's why I ask.

why the heck people would wish for something that looking so exhausting and troublesome.

 

[IDKWtWrite-San]

why the heck people would wish for something that looking so exhausting and troublesome.

its because they want to dream and desire such imagination that would never come true.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

that's why I ask.

why the heck people would wish for something that looking so exhausting and troublesome.

Because they don't think about it from the psychological or philosophical side of things. They don't think about it. It's a case of: "more booba(or dicks) is better." They don't overthink it and overanalyze like, for example, shadiversity do with fantasy and weapons. It's a simple form of escapism when you just enjoy dumb shit. Why do people have rape or reverse rape fantasies? Why do people enjoy batshit crazy MCs who kill random people? Why do people enjoy gender-bender? Because they don't think about consequences. They enjoy a single moment that happens right now to escape from reality.

When you have a war looming over your home, you don't want to think about how a REAL harem would work. You don't want to think of how much trouble and pain such a relationship will bring, all the jealousy and time you will spend on your harem. You want a moment of peace, and you want to escape reality.

 

[Mellohwa]

so what's people seek in harem that makes them think the whole trouble is actually worth it?

Get to taste different types of girls/boys I guess. And you don't need to tend every one of your harem members right? Like, if a girl/boy willingly joins your harem, they of course know the pros and cons. You just need to enjoy it.

Harem tags novel is a No for me tho.

 

[Jamminrabbit]

>Why

Because it's fiction.

 

[Agentt]

I mean, relate it to anything else.

People wish to be as fast as The Bolt, yet don't wanna put in the effort of exercising.

People want to become Bill Gates, or Princes of some Arab country, yet no one wants to do the management duties.

People want to be more handsome, but are too lazy to buy skin care products, etc.

It's the same.

 

[Alfir]

A likable harem starts from the girls/boys then every weeb's preference. If it's smut then harem, then I assume people wanted to read it for the honey. Honestly, I have never seen a logical harem before. Personally, the most logical harem story that I can think of is the likes of Kono Suba, and Akashic Records. Kazuma in Kono Suba is a decent MC with a dream, though fan service in the story is immense, his relationships with several Female characters have quite a substance, though it's not a harem dictionary-wise. We can see it as a genre that perfectly fits the story. Glenn Radars in Akashic Records is a teacher, a likable coworker, and an annoying friend. He is not proactive towards the harem around him given his history of killing and loner attitude. But he too has romantic interests. The harem genre works for him because of the number of his female friends. This is how I like my harem reads.

In my opinion, I don't like the harem in How not to summon a demon lord. I loved the story, but not its harem. It felt too degrading for women. And most of all, I find their relationship extremely far from human behavior. I can accept other harem stories(my preferences) with a grain of salt, but some harems don't just feel right. I know that Japanese writing is subject to over-exaggeration, and the harem genre is one of the results born from their style of literature. We are entitled to our own opinion, I believe that the excessive usage of the harem genre to the point of no control is either the result of the author's wish fulfillment, their desire to attract a certain demographic of readers, or maybe an experiment.

 

[MyukiMruieast]

I don't like harem. It's tedious and also a hassle. Usually, when I read it in the past, it was okay but as soon as my thinking developed, I formed a resistance and hate against it.

 

[greyblob]

what I enjoy most about harem is seeing different personalities and how they develop and eventually evolve into relationships. 90% of the harem genre is boring: the same copy and pasted progression and approach so much so that all the girls become indistinguishable from one another. but every once in a while, something decent pops up, where every girl is unique in some way, thinks different, acts different, which leads to conflict and rivalship, which in turn results in some juicy drama - almost like a political circle.

 

[Temple]

It's a fantasy. You're inserting real world logic to wish-fulfillment.
For example, in my case, I want to command a huge army back in medieval times. I just want to fantasize about it. I don't want to actually do that. The army will probably just starve to death because I don't know how to feed that army.
Take those ruling a city fantasy. Realistically, it's going to be hell to rule an actual city. You won't have time for your harem.

Or those people who want to be a badass assassin with a dark past. Sometimes I want to be a badass assassin, but if someone offers me in real life to give me training to become John Wick, I'm going to nope out of that.

 

[paradigmfriday]

Hey, hey!...Hi, folks! How's it going! So I'm a big fan of harem, and will likely be a life-long member of the pro-harem faction. Pretty much all the stories I've personally written are harem. I might even name my eventual children with the Harry and Emma to prove my devotion to the genre(This is a joke, I repeat that was a joke!!!!)

My preference in stories from loved to barely tolerated goes
Harem => Good Romance => No Romance => Trash Romance > and then Smut at the tail-end.

I like harems because when they're done right, it's like a chef kiss, a whole bunch of good romances and romantic encounters, that eventually turns into this weird convoluted but tasty...thing. Before this I used to read a lot of regular romance, and honestly, I kind of hate regular romance now, for the simple reason that there's nothing worse than being stuck on a crappy ship, that's why I'm a fleet man now! Why have one ship, when you can have an armada? Also, it's a great way to see a whole lotta different scenario, and personalities, and character interactions.

Harems are so large that most authors(at least the good ones wisely avoid leaning into the most tedious parts of romance writing so I get the nice, a person meets person, feelings rise, and now they're a couple"-pay off a lot faster, and a lot more straightforwardly. I'll admit that there aren't a lot of truly good harem writers out there, so it does often come off a bit shallow. I also kind of understand the hate for harem...I mean what's the point of using the genre if all your characters are gonna be crappy cardboard cut-outs? Still, I'd rather have a warehouse of styrofoam rowboats, than be trapped on a toxic yacht.


As for folks actually like...wanting harems in real life...uh...I think it's either:

1) Simple wish-fulfillment like one person said. Like I love lasagna, wholeheartedly think I could eat it every day, and I think I could do a kickbutt job ruling the world, but I'm pretty sure having any of those wishes come true would ruin and/or end my little life...Some people recognize this, some people don't.

Or there's the second possible option

2) Where it might be that some people either aren't really into/or good at monogamy, or think they might be into poly, at least in theory...

and those are my two pet theories for "Hey, wouldn't it be cool to have a "real" harem comes from.

 

[Sabruness]

i actually dont think i'd be able to seriously sustain anything beyond 2 girls. the risk of conflict, drama and all sorts of negatives that arent usually portrayed in most harem stories would increase greatly the more girls are present not to mention the physical and emotional costs of maintaining proper relationships.

 

[owotrucked]

I think you need to look into instincts/emotion (since it often determines what's valuable to living beings).

In many species, male strategy is to leave as many offspring as possible by mating with many female without providing material support. So male lust can be maintained high upon seeing a new sexual partner. So, harem are subconsciously valuable for males.

At some point when there are so many offsprings, that strategy becomes more performant to spread genes than monogamy (investing resources in children). Even though humanity has decided to lean towards monogamy to limit social unrest (I believe it leads to harsher violence and greed for materiality, resulting in higher global suffering), harem will always remain an attractive idea in male psychology.

Likewise, why would a man ever want to divert personal resource (time and money) for a woman? Is it just an act of generosity? Of course not, it's a goal driven by instinct like the need for belonging, self-esteem, and the impulse to leave children.

If you can understand 'why do people bother with relationship at all?' You can get slightly closer as to 'why men desire multiple partners?'

 

[atgongumerki]

there is an easy out!

just don't spend time with your harem.

Just collect a bunch of lesbians/gays. you won't have to do anything with them, cause they do everything with each other.

You still have a harem, but with none of the pesky side effects.
Also no benefits, besides being able to boast about the size of your harem. But that seems to be the main reason people gather harems anyways, so ...???

I also just realised, in most harems, I heard about, the mc doesn't even touch any of the members, so collecting only les/gay would not hurt those MCs at all.

I feel like I missed something obvious, this is just too ... easy and convenient!

 

[BlackKnightX]

I understand if it's about liking a harem genre as a story (be it anime/manga/novels), I mean I do read some of it as form of amusement.

but sometimes, just sometimes. there's lots of people that seems genuinely wanting to have a group of harem for themselves, be it a writer who wrote about a story about the MC that proactively looking for a harem or a real person who saying that they actually wanting it.

like, why?

I mean the way I see it, those seems to be overly exhausting to me. it's not like you could have sex unlimited times a day and wouldn't get bored of it even after years of doing so.
and if you wanted to do a threesome with different girls everyday, hiring prostitutes sounds much more easier.

and the more harem you got, the more time consuming it is. your schedule would definitely jam-packed to take care of the girls. sounds like something that would turns into a chore in no time.
let alone being productive, I seriously doubt you'll have time to do your second hobby or personal time when you wanted to be alone.

so what's people seek in harem that makes them think the whole trouble is actually worth it?
and while we're at it, what's your idea of managing a harem? was it each girl got one day each of a week or something?

I’m a big fan of harem, but don’t really want to have one in real life. The reason? Well, you’ve already listed almost all of them above, but the most important one is because I can only bewitch one person at a time.

Like when you stare into each other’s eyes, the world around you disappears, leaving only you both inside this cozy little cocoon. Time will stop, and you both become truly connected. It’s a very wonderful and intimate moment, but this can only be done by two people.

But well, aside from that, it would be very tiring to have one.

Conclusion: I have multiple identities. In the real world, I will only have one significant other. In the fictional world, though?…. Hehehe~ Dominate, Dominate!, DOMINATE!! Fuck everyone in the existence! Yes, even fuck the existence itself! Cheers! ?

 

[T.K._Paradox]

So the appeal of a harem deep down the idea of being able to find true love in multiple partners if its about romance or being how many how bitches you can bang and flaunt it.

Harems would boil down to attention both receiving and giving and the person at the center of it is going to have the major control.

I personally would never want an IRL harem because someone is going to end up wanting more attention than the others, and when they don't get it they will hurt others, themselves, or me.

 

[BenJepheneT]

at this point we need to archives threads like this in the same category as the "what's the best time to post" and "I can't find my series in the Latest Updates section" threads

 

[AliceShiki]

Harem is interesting when the characters are all properly developed, well aware of what they're getting into, and have their own goals in life aside from being part of the MC's harem.

When the harem is just about collecting trophies, it's boring.

Essentially, Harem is nice to read about because you get to see multiple interesting love interests, and you can actually ship them with the MC while having some hopes of your dream ship come true.

... And well, if it's done poorly and the harem doesn't have interesting characters, then it's just a badly written novels, and I tend to drop badly written stuff fast.