If you do these twenty things, then you’ve mastered English.

[Deleted member 42060]

If you do these twenty things, then you’ve mastered English:​

1. You try not to use semi-colons (;).​
2. You either overuse or don’t use em dashes (—) at all (except for interruptions and comments).​
3. You pretentiously use en dashes (–).​
4. You know how to use “had had.”​
5. You overuse hyphens (-).​
6. “Huh, colon (:) looks good in here.”​
7. You have an impeccable ability to mix tenses.​
8. You know the right way to use commas but you still don’t follow it anyway.​
9. You know a lot of idioms. Like a hell lot.​
10. You prefer simple writing and you feel oddly superior about it.​
11. You prefer complicated writing and you feel oddly superior about it.​
12. (You put a period inside parentheses if you know that it’s a separate sentence.) (Not like this).​
13. You use single apostrophes (’) inside double apostrophes (”).​
14. You’re aware of the difference between a straight apostrophe (") and a curvy apostrophe (”).​
15. You always put commas or periods before apostrophes (depends, really).​
16. You try not to use onomatopoeia. (It’s a matter of style, really.)​
17. You pretentiously justify the alignment of your text.​
18. You try your best not to use ALL CAPS.​
19. You don’t use “~”.​
20. You hate and love Grammarly.​
21. You hate writing.​

 

[Amok]

"Never gonna take me em dashes, never gonna give you up, never gonna—"
* A wild aircraft carrier appears *

 

[ArcadiaBlade]

This is fake. Where are the curse words like fuck or sht? I think you didn't even master english if you don't add them in a sentence.

 

[FGCCheckmate]

1. You hate writing.

1/21st of the way there

 

[CupcakeNinja]

If you do these twenty things, then you’ve mastered English:​

1. You try not to use semi-colons (;).​
2. You either overuse or don’t use em dashes (—) at all (except for interruptions and comments).​
3. You pretentiously use en dashes (–).​
4. You know how to use “had had.”​
5. You overuse hyphens (-).​
6. “Huh, colon (:) looks good in here.”​
7. You have an impeccable ability to mix tenses.​
8. You know the right way to use commas but you still don’t follow it anyway.​
9. You know a lot of idioms. Like a hell lot.​
10. You prefer simple writing and you feel oddly superior about it.​
11. You prefer complicated writing and you feel oddly superior about it.​
12. (You put a period inside parentheses if you know that it’s a separate sentence.) (Not like this).​
13. You use single apostrophes (’) inside double apostrophes (”).​
14. You’re aware of the difference between a straight apostrophe (") and a curvy apostrophe (”).​
15. You always put commas or periods before apostrophes (depends, really).​
16. You try not to use onomatopoeia. (It’s a matter of style, really.)​
17. You pretentiously justify the alignment of your text.​
18. You try your best not to use ALL CAPS.​
19. You don’t use “~”.​
20. You hate and love Grammarly.​
21. You hate writing.​

Mastering english just means you've mastered the art of using the wrong formula to arrive at an approximation of the right answer

 

[Minx]

If you do these twenty things, then you’ve mastered English:​

1. You try not to use semi-colons (;).​
2. You either overuse or don’t use em dashes (—) at all (except for interruptions and comments).​
3. You pretentiously use en dashes (–).​
4. You know how to use “had had.”​
5. You overuse hyphens (-).​
6. “Huh, colon (:) looks good in here.”​
7. You have an impeccable ability to mix tenses.​
8. You know the right way to use commas but you still don’t follow it anyway.​
9. You know a lot of idioms. Like a hell lot.​
10. You prefer simple writing and you feel oddly superior about it.​
11. You prefer complicated writing and you feel oddly superior about it.​
12. (You put a period inside parentheses if you know that it’s a separate sentence.) (Not like this).​
13. You use single apostrophes (’) inside double apostrophes (”).​
14. You’re aware of the difference between a straight apostrophe (") and a curvy apostrophe (”).​
15. You always put commas or periods before apostrophes (depends, really).​
16. You try not to use onomatopoeia. (It’s a matter of style, really.)​
17. You pretentiously justify the alignment of your text.​
18. You try your best not to use ALL CAPS.​
19. You don’t use “~”.​
20. You hate and love Grammarly.​
21. You hate writing.​

You don't have to call me out like this

 

[Anon_Y_Mousse]

Meanwhile I'm here spamming semicolons; oh well, semicolons look pretty good to me anyways.

 

[DarkeReises]

This is fake. Where are the curse words like fuck or sht? I think you didn't even master english if you don't add them in a sentence.

You haven't mastered english until you use only the word fuck and its variations to create a story.

 

[CheertheDead]

Meanwhile I'm here spamming semicolons; oh well, semicolons look pretty good to me anyways.

Master Mousse! Please impart a fraction of your ultimate power onto this lowly servant.
Please teach me how to use semicolons!

 

[Motsu]

Not true.

 

[Deleted member 22388]

I don't even use or understand what semicolon use for. xd

 

[Anon_Y_Mousse]

Master Mousse! Please impart a fraction of your ultimate power onto this lowly servant.
Please teach me how to use semicolons!

don't put me on the spot here; I can use the art of semicolons too rashly.

I don't even use or understand what semicolon use for. xd

Basically if you wanna join two related sentences. A comma and a coordinating conjunction could also be use but I wanna feel classy so I use a semicolon.

 

[BookSick]

If you struggle not to use semi-colons, you have a high likelihood of being a programmer. Professional writers haven't used half as many semi-colons as your average undergrad programmer.