I wondering if you wanna read my story

D

Deleted member 206441

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There, linked it for ya.

 

LuoirM

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I can not believe I can be this disappointed.

Title formatted incorrectly.
AI cover art
AI synopsis.

Delete your story, now. Before I hex you.
 

Tempokai

The Overworked One
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Nov 16, 2021
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You forgot to remove those Asterisks of Shame that LLM uses for formatting. With this you already lost credibility by making yourself look like a lazy person who doesn't care about reader experience. Also, unedited LLM prose will make your story to get delisted, so IDK what you're doing.
 

SeaJay

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I think generally, just read more actual English books.
From the looks of your writing, it seems like you don't have a lot of experience writing, or with the English language at all.
So first, read some books. When you can understand say, two sentences of Jane Austen or Ron Chernow, and have read some popular fiction books out there (in ENGLISH and those that are actually published in paperback/hardcover), then you can say that you can read English. And keep writing, too. You'll see yourself evolve as well!
Some problems I saw within the first three paragraphs:
Grammar, spelling, capitalization, all basic syntax errors.
Pacing problems, chunky info dumps, hard-to-read through events, and messy structure.
And a general feeling of "What the heck just happened here?".
Plus, your grammar and spelling and capitalizations are horrible, even when you posted this. For example, it's not "I wondering if you wanna read my story", its "I was/am wondering if you want to/wanted to/wanna read my story."
Frankly, an unmitigated disaster. I actually agree with all the people above me, but I just wanted to give some constructive advice.
But the thing is, everyone started out just like you! So, you can improve your writings!
Read, read, read, and do a little writing. Learn some more English and read some more. Read fictions, nonfictions, all the genres out there. That's the best way to improve in my opinion.
It's going to be hard, but the only generic advice I can give is 'git gud' and to actually put in the effort.
 
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Eldoria

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Jun 14, 2025
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My novel name is Reign before fall I was hoping for some reviews on it
The title is too abstract and the synopsis makes me dizzy. Honestly, I don't know why should I read it? Fix your title and synopsis first!

But at least you didn't put your novel in red genres (R18), which means you're not looking for a shortcut to go viral. Keep it up and keep learning. Best regards.
 
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