I will give feedback on YOUR horror story, or story with heavy horror themes

[Eldoria]

I'm starting to pick up on themes in your work, though I've only been handed three chapters and have to surmise what fills in the rest. The story seems designed to appeal to children or very young adults. I smell a morality lesson in... something beyond single mommies love they're sweet little kids. Which is fine. Every work has to be about something, and it has to or at least should have some underlying theme or message. Yoiur carnage was scary but I think designed to be a little scary but not give kids nightmares, lol.

You're quite sharp even though you've only read 3 chapters. My fiction isn't just a story of a single mother raising a sweet little daughter; it's true that the Marry-Caelan relationship is the emotional core of the story.

But behind the words "just want to live in peace"... there will be a storm that will unexpectedly clash with world ideology, exploring that thought, seeing its shortcomings and strengths, while also implicitly criticizing it in narrative form.

In this case, the ideological concept will be carried by an entity called Disaster Princess, who is Marry's ideological sister. They will continue to force Marry to choose her domestic life or return to maintaining world peace?! This will be a big saga.

Volume 2 has only covered 1 disaster princess out of 7 disaster princesses. Marry herself is also a former disaster princess who represents the symbol of dead law. If you've ever read Sophie's World, that's more or less how fiction is used to explore philosophical thought.

However, I use a dark fantasy narrative approach, rather than an educational-normative fiction like Sophie's World.

 

[K_Nishi]

It is actually refreshing idea. The plot about personality detachment, resentment between reality and the expectation, and you finish it with twisted ending, it's very good idea in my opinion. I think you should expand the story to deliver the feeling better, because those 4 chapters was like a summary about your story idea.

I intentionally avoided deep immersion in the middle chapters.
I wanted Leo’s life to feel “thin” and frictionless —
the kind of happiness that never asks you to stop and think.

If the ending made that thinness noticeable in hindsight,
then the structure worked as intended.