I found new rising star

[MasterY001]

I actually wanted some laughs because I already know where my weak points are and where I'm good so it was just for fun and thanks for reading.

If you want my advice, ditch the litRPG format. Bottom line, it sucks.

Don't misunderstand, your story is salvageable. A benevolent hero traveling in search of his parents is something I could get behind.

But the sudden pivot with this "emperor" power is where you lost me. Your protagonist went from Nolan's Batman to comic-accurate Superman literally overnight. And that's just bad writing.

 

[Deleted member 195362]

If you want my advice, ditch the litRPG format. Bottom line, it sucks.

Don't misunderstand, your story is salvageable. A benevolent hero traveling in search of his parents is something I could get behind.

But the sudden pivot with this "emperor" power is where you lost me. Your protagonist went from Nolan's Batman to comic-accurate Superman literally overnight. And that's just bad writing.

The MC did not suddenly change, but his goal was originally power. When he did not obtain the emperor's ability, he did not think about killing much because it was a waste of time, but when he obtained that ability, killing others became something useful to him.

And you didn't notice that because you just read the few first chapters but as the novel progress you will understand everything but thanks man.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Against my better judgment, I gave the first chapter a try. It certainly was a fascinating time. From the start, I knew I was in for a subversive masterpiece. It subverted every single storytelling convention. Even just the first line went against all pieces of conventional writing advice for a first line. Then the rest of the chapter went on to subvert how we expect dialogue to be formatted, how backstory is introduced, and it even boldly rebels against the idea of head-hopping being a bad thing. A postmodern tour de force.

So this is like the reverse of "damning with faint praise"?

 

[SternenklarenRitter]

his first thought was to kill the one who teach him

Eww gross! The MC is a murder-hobo? I won't read that.