CubicleHermit
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I have been procrastinating on my latest chapter and found an old fragment of a story that I never finished, but rather liked the prologue I wrote.
AI edit, with the prompt 'Revise the following short scene to be more descriptive and colorful' (followed by the full scene above)
No particular question here, although if you've actually had the patience to compare both, do you find the AI version an unqualified improvement?
Possible challenge: do this for a short scene you wrote and liked, and see what comes out. Did it manage to improve in general? Make worse in general? Or some of each.
Malthus sensed the gathering magical force moments before the visitor appeared, but he did not rise immediately. The signature was too familiar; suspecting no threat, he simply commanded the spectral servant to raise the light from the lamps in his study.
The visitor appeared in the center of the room. Aarl was an old friend. Malthus glared at him. “Teleporting in unannounced. Is this really so urgent that it couldn’t have been discussed at the next conclave, or by spell-call?”
“I’m sorry, it could not wait,” Aarl grinned. “And calls can be intercepted.”
Malthus sighed. “So they can. What brings this late night visit?”
“Valerian gave you those spell books from down South, the old Laynite ones. I need to look through them for a counter spell.”
“Gotten yourself in trouble again?” Malthus suppressed a chuckle; this wasn’t the first time Aarl had needed his help. He signaled to the spectral servant again, which retrieved a wooden chest from the laboratory. “I’ve hardly had a chance to start cataloging them, but the wards have been removed.”
“Thank you, old friend. I hope I won’t be troubling you for long.”
“No trouble.” Malthus returned to his laboratory, leaving Aarl to work through the trunk of spellbooks in the study. A few hours passed, and Malthus was beginning to contemplate calling it a night when Aarl entered, holding a thin, dark book.
“Found it?”
Aarl approached, and opened the book. “Yes, look here.”
Malthus leaned over, and peered at the book, concentrating on the archaic script. Aarl gripped him by the arm, and muttered something in a low voice.
“What are…” Malthus’ question was interrupted, as pain wracked through his body. He tried to remember a counter spell, but it was too late, as Aarl’s spell forced him into a deep, enchanted sleep.
“I’m sorry, old friend. The stakes are too high.” Aarl set Malthus’ form on the floor, and picked up the book again. He pulled his amulet from under his tunic, and swept his hands out, saying “Ye’throgana.” Inflammable items all around the room, including Malthus’ robes, burst into flames. Aarl gripped the amulet and disappeared, leaving the tower to the mercy of the flames.
The visitor appeared in the center of the room. Aarl was an old friend. Malthus glared at him. “Teleporting in unannounced. Is this really so urgent that it couldn’t have been discussed at the next conclave, or by spell-call?”
“I’m sorry, it could not wait,” Aarl grinned. “And calls can be intercepted.”
Malthus sighed. “So they can. What brings this late night visit?”
“Valerian gave you those spell books from down South, the old Laynite ones. I need to look through them for a counter spell.”
“Gotten yourself in trouble again?” Malthus suppressed a chuckle; this wasn’t the first time Aarl had needed his help. He signaled to the spectral servant again, which retrieved a wooden chest from the laboratory. “I’ve hardly had a chance to start cataloging them, but the wards have been removed.”
“Thank you, old friend. I hope I won’t be troubling you for long.”
“No trouble.” Malthus returned to his laboratory, leaving Aarl to work through the trunk of spellbooks in the study. A few hours passed, and Malthus was beginning to contemplate calling it a night when Aarl entered, holding a thin, dark book.
“Found it?”
Aarl approached, and opened the book. “Yes, look here.”
Malthus leaned over, and peered at the book, concentrating on the archaic script. Aarl gripped him by the arm, and muttered something in a low voice.
“What are…” Malthus’ question was interrupted, as pain wracked through his body. He tried to remember a counter spell, but it was too late, as Aarl’s spell forced him into a deep, enchanted sleep.
“I’m sorry, old friend. The stakes are too high.” Aarl set Malthus’ form on the floor, and picked up the book again. He pulled his amulet from under his tunic, and swept his hands out, saying “Ye’throgana.” Inflammable items all around the room, including Malthus’ robes, burst into flames. Aarl gripped the amulet and disappeared, leaving the tower to the mercy of the flames.
AI edit, with the prompt 'Revise the following short scene to be more descriptive and colorful' (followed by the full scene above)
Malthus's senses tingled with anticipation, his keen magical intuition alerting him to the gathering force before the visitor materialized. Yet, he chose not to rise immediately from his ornate chair, his intuition assuring him that no immediate danger lurked. Instead, he calmly issued a command to his ethereal servant, directing it to raise the flickering light emanating from the ancient lamps adorning his study.
With a shimmering burst of energy, the visitor materialized in the center of the lavishly adorned room. Aarl, an old friend, stood before Malthus, who regarded him with a stern glare. "Teleporting in unannounced. Was this matter truly so urgent that it could not have waited until the next conclave or been conveyed through a simple spell-call?"
A mischievous grin danced upon Aarl's weathered face as he retorted, "Apologies for the intrusion. Some matters cannot bear the weight of time, and calls can be intercepted, my friend."
Malthus let out a resigned sigh, recognizing the truth in Aarl's words. "Indeed, they can. So, what brings you to me on this late night?"
"Valerian bestowed upon you those spell books from the southern realms, the ancient Laynite tomes," Aarl explained urgently. "I need to scour through them to find a counter spell."
Malthus couldn't suppress a stifled chuckle, familiar with Aarl's penchant for getting himself entangled in predicaments. He beckoned once more to his spectral servant, which dutifully retrieved a polished wooden chest from the depths of his laboratory. "I have scarcely begun cataloging them, but the protective wards have been removed."
"Thank you, my old friend. I hope to not burden you for long," Aarl expressed gratitude, his voice tinged with a hint of relief.
"It is no trouble," Malthus assured him, before retreating back to his laboratory, leaving Aarl to delve into the wealth of spellbooks within the study. Several hours trickled by, and just as Malthus contemplated retiring for the night, Aarl emerged, cradling a slim, mysterious book in his hands.
"Have you found it?" Malthus inquired eagerly, leaning over to examine the ancient tome's faded pages, his mind focused intently on deciphering the archaic script.
Aarl, gripping Malthus's arm tightly, leaned in close and murmured an incantation under his breath. Before Malthus could voice his confusion, searing pain erupted throughout his body, rendering his attempts at recalling a counter spell futile. Helplessly, he succumbed to the enchanting slumber induced by Aarl's treacherous magic.
"I am sorry, my old friend. The stakes are too high," Aarl whispered remorsefully as he gently placed Malthus's dormant form upon the luxurious floor. Retrieving a concealed amulet from beneath his tunic, he swept his hands outward, uttering the words, "Ye'throgana." In an instant, the room erupted in a blazing inferno, devouring flammable objects, including Malthus's robes, with voracious hunger. Clutching the amulet tightly, Aarl vanished from the tower, leaving the flames to consume the remnants of their shared past.
With a shimmering burst of energy, the visitor materialized in the center of the lavishly adorned room. Aarl, an old friend, stood before Malthus, who regarded him with a stern glare. "Teleporting in unannounced. Was this matter truly so urgent that it could not have waited until the next conclave or been conveyed through a simple spell-call?"
A mischievous grin danced upon Aarl's weathered face as he retorted, "Apologies for the intrusion. Some matters cannot bear the weight of time, and calls can be intercepted, my friend."
Malthus let out a resigned sigh, recognizing the truth in Aarl's words. "Indeed, they can. So, what brings you to me on this late night?"
"Valerian bestowed upon you those spell books from the southern realms, the ancient Laynite tomes," Aarl explained urgently. "I need to scour through them to find a counter spell."
Malthus couldn't suppress a stifled chuckle, familiar with Aarl's penchant for getting himself entangled in predicaments. He beckoned once more to his spectral servant, which dutifully retrieved a polished wooden chest from the depths of his laboratory. "I have scarcely begun cataloging them, but the protective wards have been removed."
"Thank you, my old friend. I hope to not burden you for long," Aarl expressed gratitude, his voice tinged with a hint of relief.
"It is no trouble," Malthus assured him, before retreating back to his laboratory, leaving Aarl to delve into the wealth of spellbooks within the study. Several hours trickled by, and just as Malthus contemplated retiring for the night, Aarl emerged, cradling a slim, mysterious book in his hands.
"Have you found it?" Malthus inquired eagerly, leaning over to examine the ancient tome's faded pages, his mind focused intently on deciphering the archaic script.
Aarl, gripping Malthus's arm tightly, leaned in close and murmured an incantation under his breath. Before Malthus could voice his confusion, searing pain erupted throughout his body, rendering his attempts at recalling a counter spell futile. Helplessly, he succumbed to the enchanting slumber induced by Aarl's treacherous magic.
"I am sorry, my old friend. The stakes are too high," Aarl whispered remorsefully as he gently placed Malthus's dormant form upon the luxurious floor. Retrieving a concealed amulet from beneath his tunic, he swept his hands outward, uttering the words, "Ye'throgana." In an instant, the room erupted in a blazing inferno, devouring flammable objects, including Malthus's robes, with voracious hunger. Clutching the amulet tightly, Aarl vanished from the tower, leaving the flames to consume the remnants of their shared past.
No particular question here, although if you've actually had the patience to compare both, do you find the AI version an unqualified improvement?
Some of it is a lot better, but the AI goes for too many $10 words, and in a few cases shifts the characters to speaking in much more formal tone. If I ever actually pick up the story, I'd borrows some of the phrasing they use, but wouldn't take the AI version as a whole.
Possible challenge: do this for a short scene you wrote and liked, and see what comes out. Did it manage to improve in general? Make worse in general? Or some of each.
