How's my cover and synapsis?

[GreenStudio]

My novel's numbers have been pretty stagnant even after posting daily for a month (don't even get me started on Royal Road). Don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful for the readers I have and the comments they went out of their way to share, but I couldn't help but wonder if maybe my cover or synapsis is off-putting...

Would any kind soul be willing to check them out and share some honest feedback?

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2244075/cursed-crowned-crimson/

Of course, this isn't to say that I'm complaining. I know my story is still relatively new, so I'm not expecting to hit the charts overnight or anything like that.

 

[Eldoria]

Your synopsis is actually quite good, offering an existential experience rather than just a plot summary. But here's the problem: if you're targeting the casual reader market, your synopsis isn't compelling enough to make readers care about your character. Why?

Because your fiction is more of an existential mythological tale, questioning the meaning of being a hero or a devil. This concept is too far for casual readers.

If you want your synopsis to sell better, you need to craft it into an emotional experience for readers. You need to make your protagonist more human than mythological. Build a protagonist identity that readers can relate to. Give him personal motivations (and stakes). Test the limits of his humanity.

This way, (potential) readers might be more empathetic towards your protagonist.

Note: My advice won't be relevant if your fiction is a mythological fantasy from the start without any human elements.

 

[Erysion]

That's not stagnation. You still get new readers. The number don't increase because some of your readers deleted their account or got banned. Some even might be no longer interested in your story.

 

[GreenStudio]

Your synopsis is actually quite good, offering an existential experience rather than just a plot summary. But here's the problem: if you're targeting the casual reader market, your synopsis isn't compelling enough to make readers care about your character. Why?

Because your fiction is more of an existential mythological tale, questioning the meaning of being a hero or a devil. This concept is too far for casual readers.

If you want your synopsis to sell better, you need to craft it into an emotional experience for readers. You need to make your protagonist more human than mythological. Build a protagonist identity that readers can relate to. Give him personal motivations (and stakes). Test the limits of his humanity.

This way, (potential) readers might be more empathetic towards your protagonist.

Note: My advice won't be relevant if your fiction is a mythological fantasy from the start without any human elements.

Yikes. And here I thought I had a good balance of both. Thanks for the advice, I'll see what I can do tomorrow.

 

[TheKillingAlice]

My novel's numbers have been pretty stagnant even after posting daily for a month (don't even get me started on Royal Road). Don't get me wrong, I'm really grateful for the readers I have and the comments they went out of their way to share, but I couldn't help but wonder if maybe my cover or synapsis is off-putting...

Would any kind soul be willing to check them out and share some honest feedback?

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2244075/cursed-crowned-crimson/

Of course, this isn't to say that I'm complaining. I know my story is still relatively new, so I'm not expecting to hit the charts overnight or anything like that.

It's not technically bad, but I'm wondering: How is it that people call him a demon? Why, if he saves them time and time again?
It might just be the Hancock-effect or whatever, but I refuse to believe that people just think of their savior as a demon for no reason. And what caused them to believe he committed "mass arson"?
Technically, the synopsis isn't bad, but in fact, I don't like the questions it poses, because it seems vague.
Same goes for the cover. It's cool and all, I can even somewhat tell what's in it, but that only really works once I've opened the story and looked at the enlarged version, together with the synopsis, which tells me there's an angel stuck to his ass.
I don't know if any of that has anything to do with your reader count, it's just what I observed.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

It's not technically bad, but I'm wondering: How is it that people call him a demon? Why, if he saves them time and time again?

Maybe they all read E. R. Edison's The Worm Ouroboros, where the noble class of Venus are all called "demons" for no apparent reason?

 

[Eldoria]

"Chapter 0, Prophecy" is well written. Some grammar issues and some lexical discordancies that make it difficult to settle on an overall milieu (near future, deep past, decrepit present), but on the whole it's better written than much of what one stumbles upon around here.

I don't know if you intend this... I see it's listed as original work, and that's your prerogative, for sure, but the story's premise and plotline appear to be straight out of the motion picture, The Fifth Element. Probably just coincidence, as even in the time of Homer, every story had already been told

If the writing quality is indeed good, then the content issues are likely irrelevant to engagement. It means that low engagement is more due to market preferences, fiction packaging, and promotion.

The author is correct in identifying the synopsis and cover art as potentially problematic, as they are the primary promotional tools on the SH platform.

 

[Ararara]

Cover is great, synopsis is fine / average. Not sure how I'd improve it.

I guess we got told a lot of information about the past / character background (The arson, 3 years of isolation, an angel forcing him to save people even though he doesn't care about it, he's a devil...). But I still don't know what the story will really be about aside from "He is chosen as 1 of 6 Heroes to save the world." It's still kinda vague and unspecific, it's not clear what to expect, if that makes sense. We got a lot of facts, but didn't get a feel for the MC's character or personality. Or from where the "fun" will come from - the genre is a bit unclear.

(I don't even know if these "heroes" are in the modern world unless I see 1 of the 30 tags saying "Modern fantasy", at first I thought it was more like normal medival fantasy, oops!)

I skimmed over the start of the story and it takes 8 chapters to even reach the point of "new" stuff happening that wasn't covered in the synopsis. That is also unusual if you ask me. Because for those 8 chapters the reader kinda already knows it all (since it was in the synopsis), and is paitently waiting for the story to "start".

I think it's more usual for the first 1 or 2 chapters to "escape" what was said in the synopsis and continue with the story.

Not sure if any of this made sense or is helpful, I'm just trying to give random ideas. Many stories on SH also often like a more "informal" style of synopsis, like this:

Reincarnated as a Phoenix

So, let me get this straight, I die not knowing how, get reborn as a mythical bird, my parents are dragons and this levelling system is crap. If that isn't bad enough, I'm also terrified of flying. I'm never going to get used to this, am I? ---Slight summary of...

www.scribblehub.com

I think it's a sweet and effective blurb, immediately shows the tone and the personality of the MC, and it's clear what the story will be like. It's maybe not applicable to your story bcs of the vastly different genres, but I wanted to mention it as contrast.

There is also alot of stories like this one where in the synopsis the writer talks to the audience directly and describes what the story will have and won't have, trying to "sell" it to the audience and adjust their expectations in advance. This one is super long and idk if any readers would ever read it all, but it's also a relatively popular approach:

The Deity Entertainment Network

Synopsis John was just an average, everyday old man. He had always worked hard, had a wife, kids, and family. He had lived what most would call a good life. Then one day, at a crosswalk, some kids were not paying attention and tried to cross. A truck was barreling...

www.scribblehub.com

Good luck, maybe some adjustments could help it attract more readers, the writing is pretty good!

 

[GreenStudio]

I found myself wondering "save the world from what?" But looking at your stats, you have almost as many drops as you have readers, so your retention challenges have nothing to do with the cover or the synopsis. The readers that are dropping have already given the book a try, so they've made it through the gate.

That the numbers are low might have as much to do with the venue as your work. It's really slow here. (And at RR, since you brought it up.) Most of the authors that are doing well at these places bring their readers with them. And those readers don't search for anything else. They mostly just link directly into work that interests them and don't see the overall website at all.

I'm going in to read a chapter or two....

======= aargh, fucking merge feature.......

"Chapter 0, Prophecy" is well written. Some grammar issues and some lexical discordancies that make it difficult to settle on an overall milieu (near future, deep past, decrepit present), but on the whole it's better written than much of what one stumbles upon around here.

I don't know if you intend this... I see it's listed as original work, and that's your prerogative, for sure, but the story's premise and plotline appear to be straight out of the motion picture, The Fifth Element. Probably just coincidence, as even in the time of Homer, every story had already been told.

I've never even heard of that story.

I guess we got told a lot of information about the past / character background (The arson, 3 years of isolation, an angel forcing him to save people even though he doesn't care about it, he's a devil...). But I still don't know what the story will really be about aside from "He is chosen as 1 of 6 Heroes to save the world." It's still kinda vague and unspecific, it's not clear what to expect, if that makes sense. We got a lot of facts, but didn't get a feel for the MC's character or personality. Or from where the "fun" will come from - the genre is a bit unclear.

This is some good advice. It seems my biggest problem is that my blurb is mostly about the world and story than the actual character. I think I have a few ideas now.

It's not technically bad, but I'm wondering: How is it that people call him a demon? Why, if he saves them time and time again?
It might just be the Hancock-effect or whatever, but I refuse to believe that people just think of their savior as a demon for no reason. And what caused them to believe he committed "mass arson"?
Technically, the synopsis isn't bad, but in fact, I don't like the questions it poses, because it seems vague.
Same goes for the cover. It's cool and all, I can even somewhat tell what's in it, but that only really works once I've opened the story and looked at the enlarged version, together with the synopsis, which tells me there's an angel stuck to his ass.
I don't know if any of that has anything to do with your reader count, it's just what I observed.

I see. So I should be less mysterious and more direct.

(I don't even know if these "heroes" are in the modern world unless I see 1 of the 30 tags saying "Modern fantasy", at first I thought it was more like normal medival fantasy, oops!)

I probably should've included the part where there's 9 worlds, and they have to journey through all of them to find the heroes.
This has all been very enlightening. Thank you to everyone who took the time to give me some advice.

I think it's a sweet and effective blurb, immediately shows the tone and the personality of the MC, and it's clear what the story will be like. It's maybe not applicable to your story bcs of the vastly different genres, but I wanted to mention it as contrast.

There is also alot of stories like this one where in the synopsis the writer talks to the audience directly and describes what the story will have and won't have, trying to "sell" it to the audience and adjust their expectations in advance. This one is super long and idk if any readers would ever read it all, but it's also a relatively popular approach:

I'm definitely getting some ideas now.

Good luck, maybe some adjustments could help it attract more readers, the writing is pretty good!

Thanks!