How to tell if a plot is shit

[IDreamNovels]

You should read How not to write a novel by Howard Mittelmark. You might find it interesting.

 

[Motsu]

If it's about a story of a young gay priest trying to save a village from a demon who has been possessing its naughty inhabitants. Then yes, it shit sucks.

Now, exactly, what makes a plot a piece of shit? Is it because the summary of the story puts you off? Or is it because the cover of the story is the handwriting of a witch? I think the answer to that question is how it was built from Exposition to Denouement. But none would mind those, and would directly pull the things they dislike about the story. They don't say the things about the 'how did a man turn into a gay,' 'why was he chosen by the girls when there could be any other that could be chosen?' Plot holes, and stuff that makes your mind go brr brr, is something that might be the cause of saucesucking plot. Of course, others who are literate would say 'by reading,' but we are trying to 'classify the types of how can we tell if a story suck.' If Genre was the sauce of the plot being a shithole, then that doesn't make any sense because the Genre is the classification of the story, and the plot is a sequence of event.

If a sequence of the event makes no sense and creates a discrepancy throughout the whole story, then it sucks.

Now when I read a story, I do a neutral stand on the things that happen and accept them as what they are. I do not ask about the why-and-how you met a girl out-of-nowhere because that's just how it goes... according to the authors (and so should you,) while not letting my emotions to rule over and shed hatred over the characters because they love (anal-kaku-jin.)

Back to the point, how can you tell if the plot is shit?
Well... by learning all of Mark Nichol's article and using them to discover why the plot sucks. Or even then, if you are a fat lazy cowboy, you could create your own rule of 'how a plot would be good' or opposite-wise and leave it like that. But this is just my platinum answer, so don't take my word for it. *wink*

 

[Maple-Leaf]

I'd say that if the story starts off with an infodump, that's a good indication the writer doesn't know shit about writing in general, so the plot is probably going to be lackluster as well.

 

[Freesia.Cutepearl]

I'd say that if the story starts off with an infodump, that's a good indication the writer doesn't know shit about writing in general, so the plot is probably going to be lackluster as well.

I feel like this just screams, "Start in a school setting to infodump while the main character complains about how bored they are."

Not like I did anything even remotely similar myself, nope, not at all, what are you even on about?

Spoiler: Magic Basics by Izanami, First edition

I open the ‘Magic Basics’ tutorial and am greeted with another window that looks more like a word document. Scrolling up and down quickly, it seems rather long. I sigh a little, and slide down the wall I’m still leaning on such that I’m now sitting against it with my knees still up, folding my arms across them, I shapeshift some very soft fluffy fur along my forearms then I rest my head on top and begin reading. I can’t help but comment in my thoughts while I read.

(>>>)

Welcome to the Magic Basics Tutorial by Izanami, First Edition

‘Oh really, first edition? Let’s hope Izanami-sensei is a good teacher.’

Magic at its core is about controlling a special energy, the details aren’t important right now, for the time being we will just call it Mana. Think of Mana similarly to how you would Electricity. It flows like electricity, and can be used to power things, and with special patterns create various effects or alter the world. I suppose, to take from what you know from Earth, it might be akin to an Electrical Engineer or for more advanced magics perhaps a Circuit Design Engineer.

‘Hah! I didn’t spend 230 hours messing with Redstone in Minecraft for nothing!’

Mana radiates from the Sun, and permeates all the planets, gathering in places with gravity. Raw Mana must be gathered within one’s essence which takes time. Gathered Mana becomes attuned to you, allowing it to be separated and reabsorbed at will without needing time to be gathered. Your Mana can be imbued into objects to be stored until you are ready to use it.

‘The Sun? Really? That’s interesting. I wonder what a Physicist would think, is Magic, Dark Matter? No, wait, that doesn’t make sense. It sounds more like some weird version of Electro-Magnatism. Hmm.. Mana-DoesThings ...tism!’

Your essence can also be expanded to contain and manipulate more mana at once. But, that is a topic for the more advanced tutorials. For now you only need to focus on using the Mana within your essence and storing it to be used later.

‘Wait, so the Matrix was on the right track, we really are batteries, just, for Mana? Damnit, where is my KeanuReeves-Whoa.gif when I need it?’

Mana does not work like you might be expecting from your experience with video games, there is no neat unit of mana and you will not have a counter like 500/1000 Mana. It works more like electricity in a battery, the flow will get weaker as it empties. Mana has the same two properties as well, like Voltage, there is pressure, or how fast, it flows. And like Amperage, it has a volume of flow, or how much is flowing.

‘So what you’re telling me is, it’s going to crap out on me like the batteries in my wireless mouse during the final boss of the dungeon raid?’

This world you are in, has its own special construct that governs the ‘RPG System’ as you called it, the WorldMethod. The WorldMethod can assist you in making and using spells, as well as keeping track of every spell ever created with it by the people of this planet. However, I would suggest that you do not rely on it.

‘So the WorldMethod assistance is like having a Macro you copy pasted to do your hotbar rotation for you?’

I will briefly tell you about it though, as I believe you can learn more by dissecting the spells within it than I could easily teach you here. The WorldMethod uses ‘modules’ of Mana patterns that can be connected together for various effects, the denizens of this world are given magic casting assistance by the WorldMethod by applying ‘modules’ to the casters to enable them to cast the spell they wish.

‘So it’s like using a level editor and taking premade bits and pieces and sticking them together into one whole piece that does what you want?’

The WorldMethod allows someone to witness a spell, combine it with a rudimentary understanding of Mana use, and be capable of recasting the same spell, as long as they can properly combine the ‘modules’. The WorldMethod also acts as a universal Mana storage, allowing casters to ‘borrow’ mana from that which it is collecting from the world itself.

‘So it’s like having a Calculator in math class? Aw come on teach, don’t ban my calculator, I promise I won’t play Tetris on my TI84 calculator anymore, don’t ban them from the class!’

The WorldMethod Mana storage is a ‘one size fits all’ attunement, meaning it either takes a short time to gather Mana from it, or it is terribly inefficient for instant use, requiring the caster to have far more Mana control ability than the spell actually needs.

‘I never liked one size fits all clothes, THEY NEVER FIT ME, fucking liars, all minus one is NOT ALL, and just because you change the wording to one size fits most doesn’t make it any less shitty, bastards. No I’m not still upset over that one hat, shut up.’

I have made you a special ability that will allow you to deconstruct any spell you see, along with all of its ‘modules’ so that you may see the raw Mana patterns. You can of course use the WorldMethod to cast spells, I gave you one already, for a treat whenever you want one, some of that wine I know you liked. ;)

‘Oooh neat! More special abilities! Hurray! Also I can’t get over Izanami using a winky face, it’s like the first time my Dad sent me an emoji in a text when he got his first smartphone. Oooh.. new notification?’

>>

(!) Notice: WorldMethod.User(“Lilith Everhart”).AddAbility(WorldMethod.Undefined.RoseBloom.DeconstructSpell()) Complete

>>

(!) Notice: NEW Unique Ability Granted > {Deconstruct Spell}

‘Ooh, a dialog box popped up for it!’

(=)	Deconstruct Spell	[-]
Unique Skill		Divine Providence
Allows the user to analyze any witnessed spell, automatically adding it to the user’s WorldMethod SpellList, and exposing the Mana patterns of the spell, including the entire module dependency chain.
	[ Dismiss ]

‘Sweeeeeeeeeet! A new Cheeeeeaaaat! Actually it just means more work for me, I just wanted to rhyme with sweet.’

I would suggest you learn and practice casting on your own, though. Do not rely on the WorldMethod, I am warning you now, you will regret it. So please Dear, don’t be lazy on this one thing, understand?

‘See? More. Work. Damnit.’

I can feel your impatience, enough chatter, you know the groundwork now, here is how to cast your first spell. First, you must create a Mana pattern and imbue it into your essence, do not worry, they will stay with you like memories, and you can use them more easily over time.

‘Give me more credit! I wasn’t THAT impatient yet, I was keeping myself entertained by picking apart your lesson and thinking about memes. Wait, no, forget that, I was very seriously studying it, seriously, totally, that. Not goofing off at all, me? No? Never! Perish the thought!’

To make a Mana pattern, you need to imagine every step of the spell, ever action, reaction, and so forth you wish to happen, in as much detail as you are capable. Let’s start with a simple spell, to refill the glass I gave you with water.

‘Wait I skipped the last part while rambling about how seriously I was studying. Uh, oh I see, Mana pattern + Essence = Mana… Memory? Easy. Ok, make a pattern, imagine EVERYTHING, no regrets ok Izanami? I’m very imaginative, you see, don’t feel bad if I ace this like… wait I can’t remember what class I aced? Hmmm, no, no, maybe, no... uh... It really happened ok! Don’t doubt me! I doubt me enough! What? I didn’t say anything.’

Picture in your mind drawing the water vapor from the air, flowing like a wind into your glass, as it enters the glass picture the vapor cooling off, however you wish, remove the heat, add cold air, the details are up to you, the more specific you are the better the result will be.

‘Sluuuurp, Sluuuuuurp, Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop. Hehehe I did it.’


‘...’


‘Wait, Reader, you saw that? I- I can explain! Uh, see, making sound effects... helps, yeah that’s it! I totally wasn’t doing it just because!’

This simple spell should fill your glass with condensed water from the air if you managed it properly.

‘I totally did it properly, how could you doubt me. I have feelings you know.’


Looking at the end of the document I can’t help but blurt out at the abrupt end, “Wait, that’s it? Awwww, write more text that I can avoid reading! No? Ok.”