Writing How to NOT break the reader's immersion in the story

[vish]

I am seeking some advice regarding the above mentioned matter.
So, my character is an otaku and he drops some references here and there. Does doing this breaks the readers immersion in the story?
Another thing is that even if it does breaks the immersion, my MC will go through harsh circumstances which will make his personality less jolly and a more serious, it is a revenge story so he will go through 'some' personality changes, duh. But what I am doing breaks your immersion or not and what are some other tips you can give me in writing a revenge story.
Also my MC even after personality change won't become an edge-lord or something and there might be quite funny moments in the story. Do funny moments suit a revenge story or should I aim for a more serious story. Also I am not some fool who will force funny moments but will try to time them perfectly according to my skills.
I am a newbie writter with 2 weeks of writting experience, so all advices and remarks are welcome.

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HOW TO KILL A GODDESS OF ANOTHER 'EARTH'

 

[Lloyd]

Every story needs comic relief.

 

[Temple]

If it's a guy from our world then no problem at all. He's an otaku so it wouldn't be surprising for him to do it. That itself is good characterization. What would be the problem if he's making references and the reader doesn't get that he's making references. You could actually put author's notes below to have an explanation for his reference especially if it's a more obscure anime reference.

I read a medieval story in RR before that went for a more historical feel. Obviously, I had no idea what the characters are talking about if they're referencing medieval history things. The author just put some tidbit explanation in the notes and that was cool and interesting. Could do something like that.

Funny moments is fine but try to find a place for them. Like in Independence Day when Will Smith the jet pilot guy won the fight, he did a cool one liner joke or something (can't recall what exactly he said) as a sort of comedic celebration. It sounded cool, but then you remember his fellow pilots just died fighting the aliens and that's kind of weird he's joking at that time.

 

[NotaNuffian]

Don't fourth wall break too much like me, I am proofreading my old work right now and cringe is everywhere.

Also, don't reference to obscure works, while injokes are fine, too much of it dampers the immersion of the reader as well as making it frustrating when the reader doesn't really understand the joke. For example, Jason Asano's constant reference to old TV shows is both hilarious as it fits the character, yet head scratching when I missed some of the jokes.

If you must, please put an A/N for the readers.

 

[Echimera]

References: Depends a lot on the references. If the MC has a background similar to our world, blatant references or even name drops to older stuff should be fine, especially stuff that has entered the collective cultural background or has turned into (from our perspective outdated) memes.
Generally, dropping references and quotes that match the situation can be completely in character, especially if it's a nerd/otaku type.
The really tricky part is to balance that (and with pop culture affine characters the degree of genre savviness) so you don't accidentally have them break the fourth wall (though even that can be fine if medium awareness is properly established and consistent).

Comic relief with an overly serious, stoic or brooding character can work, but it has the risk of creating an inconsistent character. So it might be better to have comic relief in the form of side characters or the setting itself. Then again, contrasting a serious MC with an absurd setting has its own pitfalls.

 

[Jemini]

As everyone here says, it depends on the reference and also how you handle it. Also, don't make your Otaku character too one-note.

In my story, I also have a total weeb of an Otaku character making rather frequent references. Only, he's an American Otaku. Therefore, I fashioned him more after how the typical American Otaku really is. In Japan, the typical model for an Otaku is Hikikomori. In the US, believe it or not, your typical Otaku tends to be a young man living in the rough part of town, usually with a really gangster vibe to them. Another area heavy in Otakus is the US military.

So, my Otaku character also happens to be a US marine, and is in every way also a rather competent soldier. He also does not ONLY throw around anime references. He also tosses around other references to nerd-appealing pop culture. For instance, there is one scene where he calls one of his fellow reincarnators "Dax," a StarTreck DS9 reference, because she happens to be a gender-changed reincarnator who was an old man in her previous life.

So, vary up your references, don't make them one-note, and also give them character beyond those flat traits as well. Also, when you make references, try to make them relevant if you can. Calling out situational parallels is a pretty good bet.

 

[Habtamu]

how are you going to finish the story if you worried about the readers this much, i mean if you know what to write what is the problem, just write what you have in mind, if readers don't like it it means they didn't like your concept and if the opposite happens that means they like it, i personally think authors have to write what they have in mind rather than what others say, don't you think most novels are good when authors knows what they want write and not bothered by readers, but when i say this i didn't mean you can't listen comments, what i wanted to say was you don't have to change anything to satisfy readers if you know what do you want to write.

 

[vish]

how are you going to finish the story if you worried about the readers this much, i mean if you know what to write what is the problem, just write what you have in mind, if readers don't like it it means they didn't like your concept and if the opposite happens that means they like it, i personally think authors have to write what they have in mind rather than what others say, don't you think most novels are good when authors knows what they want write and not bothered by readers, but when i say this i didn't mean you can't listen comments, what i wanted to say was you don't have to change anything to satisfy readers if you know what do you want to write.

Yeah, you are right.
But I wanted to learn some techniques and I stumbled upon this reader's immersion thing in the forums so I thought I should ask about it just in case. As for the comic relief part well that was an optional thingy in my novel anyway.
So, thanks for your advice.

 

[greyblob]

I don't see any proper responses, so here are my 2 cents: don't make the reader go 'huh?'. I'm sure you've been there before. Horrendous grammar, incorrect usage of idioms, overly complex sentences, too simple sentences, bad paragraphing, too little/much descriptions, uncharacteristic behavior, etc. There's much more, but those are the most grueling.

I am a newbie writter with 2 weeks of writting experience, so all advices and remarks are welcome.

Have 0 expectations, and understand that whatever you write right now will be mediocre at best, shit at worst.

 

[vish]

I don't see any proper responses, so here are my 2 cents: don't make the reader go 'huh?'. I'm sure you've been there before. Horrendous grammar, incorrect usage of idioms, overly complex sentences, too simple sentences, bad paragraphing, too little/much descriptions, uncharacteristic behavior, etc. There's much more, but those are the most grueling.


Have 0 expectations, and understand that whatever you write right now will be mediocre at best, shit at worst.

Yeah I know
But still learning something new doesn't hurt, does it.

 

[Snusmumriken]

I would say the major factor for immersion is consistency.

As readers read your chapters they start to form ideas of your characters and the plot flow. i.e they immerse themselves into the story. And they will stay that way as long as your story and characters will remain consistent. It is fine to have a stupid character or a smart one but dont make your genius make stupid obvious decisions for the sake of the plot.

You can have twists and surprises, but they have to be consistent too. you want your reader to slap their head and say "why didn't I think of it - it is so obvious!" instead of going "Wtf why is the sofa started to talk in a noir detective story?"