I put myself into their situation and envision how I would react or respond. Then I compare myself with them. Sometimes they'd have the same reaction.
that's literally writing by self insertion.
there was a hysterically funny meme went around another site I was on.
graphic novel, and the MC was on a four panel "rant" that was all posturing and aura farming.
Big jacked alpha male, chiseled features, AlphaMale Kirk Douglas jaw and chin
The MC was berating a mousy character, all 4 panels.
"Why is it every time I see a guy doing X? They're pathetic, like you?!?!"
and the big line at the end...
"Where's... your... chin...!!!"
but its a meme, so...
they also have a picture of *that* author, smiling, at a book store card table.
people are lined up, getting signed editions of his comic book (sorry, graphic novel)
and the meme-maker? hilariously drew an arrrow, and labeled it...
"this is the author of that comic"
arrow was pointing to the guy's chin.
poor author looks like he's 4'11", maybe 78 pounds soaking wet.
and his chin? oh lord, it looks like someone cut off his human jaw, and glued mouse testicles on for his "chin".
point being, it was so obvious that was his self insert power fantasy, it was unreal.
compare the girl in the 50 shades books/movies... to the author herself.
somehow to me, over the top fantasies come off as... unrealistic to me. I can't relate to the story.
that's why instead of "designing the character" in any of the traditional ways you read about,
I just use real life "character models"... and I *keep* their flaws.
for me, when I read it. It seems like its more realistic, I could "see" it happening more.
reading about a guy getting surrounded by 12 expert kung fu masters,
who (helpfully) only attack him one at a time so he can pick them off... doesn't do it for me.
and no, I have no idea what that says about me, as the author of that stuff.
its all just a weird way to "look" at a written work, I suppose.