How do you describe something to make sure it's not too wordy?

[LuciferVermillion]

I'm always bad with descriptions and grammar. Whenever I try to describe something, it always ends up getting too wordy.

Usually, I imagine myself in the scene and started to use my six senses, see, hear, smell, touch, taste, think.

Is there a simpler way to make sure what you were describing doesn't overwhelm your readers?

Let's say:
I drink a glass of orange juice on a table.

Case 1: I saw a cup crystal glassed orange looking juice placed on a fancy table endorsed by marble at its surface and cherry wood as its support. It made me wonder what sort of delicacy drink this is, so I took a sip. But apparently, it was just a simple blended orange juice pulp with bits of pomace, and it felt a little lukewarm, which I think it's supposed to go into the fridge.

Case 2: I saw a cup of orange juice at the table, it looked fancy. Curious, I took a sip of it, but there's this blended pomace mixed within and I think it's not cold enough. So I tossed it into the fridge.

Case 3: I saw a cup of juice on the table, so I took a sip, only to realise it was orange juice.

Sometimes I was wondering if this does not have to do with the plot, should I just ignore it?

 

[NotProudofmySmut]

Cut everything, that isnt necessary and that you wouldnt enjoy to read.
Nobody wants to read more words than necessary, if they wont have an impact on the plot.
A sentence should never be just a sentence that leads to the next sentence.

 

[TheEvilDuckLord]

In my opinion, it depends on what you're writing and how fast the plot moves. But, you probably don't need that much information. If you want to imagine how the characters experiences actions, thats fine, but all the information isn't needed for the readers. Extend only the moments that are important.

 

[Eldoria]

Sometimes I was wondering if this does not have to do with the plot, should I just ignore it?

Right, as you doubt. You don't need to be too long-winded in describing something irrelevant to the plot. Instead of describing the setting, you can turn it into a cinematic action narrative. Cut out all descriptions that are irrelevant to the plot. Use descriptions as needed to liven up the atmosphere, build suspense, or mystery.

For example:

I stepped into the noisy party room and took a glass of orange from the tray.

I held the glass in my hand. My black hair reflect off the silver glass. Then—

A woman in a henin hat walked by. Her lips curved as if to greet me.

I turned back. But the mysterious woman disappeared from my sight.

This way, your pacing is smooth and fast.

Readers tend to prefer a flowing and fast pace, rather than a slow one. Descriptive narratives tend to be boring for readers. On the other hand, cinematic action narratives are flowing, fast, and easy to visualize, perfect for a web novel.

Leave the descriptions of the ballroom, the orange juice, the waiters to the reader's imagination. Simply move the MC along with a cinematic action narrative.

 

[Worthy39]

Well, you don't need to describe every detail, just the general atmosphere, how crowded it is some key decorations that would especially stand out to you, and maybe a really strong smell or taste, assuming you're writing a story heavy on details like that. Leaving too much to the imagination is lazy, not leaving enough is boring. It's hard to find the right balance there, but it's more about giving the reader just enough to imagine the scene, without giving so much they don't care.

 

[Our_Lady_in_Twilight]

I think you should keep the description when you can tie it to a purpose. For example:

'It felt a little lukewarm' - Cut it, who cares.

'Crystal glass/fancy table' - could be useful, if the purpose is to highlight the protag at a fancy party, feeling out of their depth. You could tie it to character psychology like 'They served the orange juice in crystal glasses, each worth more than Bob made in a month.'

If you can use it to serve an interesting purpose keep it, otherwise trim.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

I don't know if this is the best advice but I try to avoid using the same words twice in the same paragraph, with the exception of transitional words such as and, a, the, etc. If the same descriptor is used twice, consider using a different descriptor.

 

[Macha]

I don't know if this is the best advice but I try to avoid using the same words twice in the same paragraph, with the exception of transitional words such as and, a, the, etc. If the same descriptor is used twice, consider using a different descriptor.

Only someone who look like this would say their advice is not the best while saying the best advice.

 

[Worthy39]

Only someone who look like this would say their advice is not the best while saying the best advice.

The man's a legend.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

Only someone who look like this would say their advice is not the best while saying the best advice.

I'm not as experienced as some here so I don't want to assume I know what is best.

 

[Succubiome]

If you're narrating in the person, I'd mostly describe the orange juice as much as the character in question would care about it if not plot-relevant.

If orange juice isn't a big deal, you can just stop at "glass of orange juice" on the table.

If they've never had orange juice, are an orange juice connoisseur, are dehydrated and starving, or are trying to focus on physical things so as to not be overwhelmed by mental ones, for example, you can give it more detail.

Also: if you're writing for an audience who many of whom may have never had orange juice, it might be worth describing it just a little more so they can relate better.

Personally, I also describe things more thoroughly when it's atmospheric or I just think it's fun-- for example, it doesn't super matter what the TV show is for the scene, but saying a little about it and even having a few lines of dialogue is something that can worldbuild a little or give me a chance to make terrible puns. My general theory there is that if I'm having fun writing something, some of the sort of people who like my writing will have fun reading it.

 

[unlaumy]

I checked your story on SH to make sure my assumption isn't wrong. So I don't know if it's your intended writing style or it's the way you instinctively write, but I notice that you seem to heavily depend on the main character as the center to describe the setting.

Let's say:
I drink a glass of orange juice on a table.

Case 1: I saw a cup crystal glassed orange looking juice placed on a fancy table endorsed by marble at its surface and cherry wood as its support. It made me wonder what sort of delicacy drink this is, so I took a sip. But apparently, it was just a simple blended orange juice pulp with bits of pomace, and it felt a little lukewarm, which I think it's supposed to go into the fridge.

Case 2: I saw a cup of orange juice at the table, it looked fancy. Curious, I took a sip of it, but there's this blended pomace mixed within and I think it's not cold enough. So I tossed it into the fridge.

Case 3: I saw a cup of juice on the table, so I took a sip, only to realise it was orange juice.

You see that? There must be 'I' in every description. Of course, some would hurriedly say: "this is in first person, of course that's how it should be!" Which I'll reply that it doesn't necessarily have to be like that. It's somewhat similar to other thread some weeks ago where the OP was asking how to avoid getting too many 'I' in their writing. Many sentences can stand alone without having to be anchored down with a character's interaction. In fact, these kinds of descriptions are important to set up certain mood pieces, but because of the way you prioritize the person instead of them, the intended atmosphere becomes sanitized and less important. Which leads to readers having doubts whether they're even important to the story.

That doesn't mean characters aren't important. You just have to give them context and meaning to the setting they're put into.

What kind of party is it? A prestigious ball where nobles mingle? Just some party of second-generation rich playing around? Business moguls just doing their things?
Who is your character in this situation? A commoner who's invited because he's a hero? The king? The main attraction? The foil?

Consider this paragraph:
I don't know how to say it except that here's just too bright. Just a few feet from me, the ladies are talking about the way French ladies' acts in a way that makes my ears uncomfortable. Sir Fraser, the man who brought me here, is talking to another stranger about some promising business he has in Philadelphia. Just last week, he was stressing over on finding an investment for the same business. I wonder if I stand out here? I don't want that. Everyone's holding a cup. When I pass a table, I grab a random one. The orange juice tastes sour. Margaret was right, only idiots would drink in a party like this.

Notice that I scratched out the room and table's details altogether. I used other guests to show the importance and class of the party. Here, rather than the MC drinking orange juice just for the sake of it, he drank it because he was in discomfort from the whole situation. He cares about his face, and in attempt of doing so, he feels like he has become a clown.

Take care on how you present the sentences. There's the character and there's the setting. When you prioritize a character, you have to show that the subsequent details matter to them. Otherwise, it will be just like above mentioned and what other users have said, is the orange juice important? Is the fancy table important? Exactly in what way are they important to him?

My first criticism on the heavy usage of 'I' can be ignored if it doesn't work with your writing style or some other reasons.

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

Sounds like a classic example of mixing genres and themes. We get blasted throughout our lives with different type of media and then when we try to mimic them, our memories coalesce them into a random mesh. Usually because one hasn't spent time categorizing things.

Completely depends on what you are writing and why. Make a spreadsheet if you have to.

 

[Nevafrost]

Only someone who look like this would say their advice is not the best while saying the best advice.

LITERALLY my thought I swear. As soon as I was reading his comment ?

 

[CharlesEBrown]

1. Read Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time. (The first novel or, if brave, first two, not the full series).
2. Be in complete awe of his ability to describe everything but his characters in minute detail so that you see, hear, feel, even smell what's going on.
3. Don't even try to do that...
4. Find your own style that may be minimal to fit your level of detail.

 

[MFontana]

I'm always bad with descriptions and grammar. Whenever I try to describe something, it always ends up getting too wordy.

Usually, I imagine myself in the scene and started to use my six senses, see, hear, smell, touch, taste, think.

Is there a simpler way to make sure what you were describing doesn't overwhelm your readers?

Let's say:
I drink a glass of orange juice on a table.

Case 1: I saw a cup crystal glassed orange looking juice placed on a fancy table endorsed by marble at its surface and cherry wood as its support. It made me wonder what sort of delicacy drink this is, so I took a sip. But apparently, it was just a simple blended orange juice pulp with bits of pomace, and it felt a little lukewarm, which I think it's supposed to go into the fridge.

Case 2: I saw a cup of orange juice at the table, it looked fancy. Curious, I took a sip of it, but there's this blended pomace mixed within and I think it's not cold enough. So I tossed it into the fridge.

Case 3: I saw a cup of juice on the table, so I took a sip, only to realise it was orange juice.

Sometimes I was wondering if this does not have to do with the plot, should I just ignore it?

I've been seeing a lot of "just cut everything that isn't plot necessary" bits of advice around SH, and must admit I firmly disagree with all of it being in any way relevant. If you want to be detailed, do it. If you don't like being detailed, then don't do it. Do what works for you, because there are readers who greatly enjoy BOTH sides.
Here's a list of incredible authors who have done the exact opposite of what several have been advising you to do, to overwhelming success. The only 'real' keys to success are, to do what you do WELL, and use your own, personal, style. Break the mold, and do what YOU enjoy. You'll be able to pour your heart into your writing, and your readers will see it, and they will love it.

Spoiler

• J. R. R. Tolkien - The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion
• C.S. Lewis - The Chronicles of Narnia
• Stephen King - It, The Shining, and many others.
• Mary Shelley - Frankenstein
• Michael Crichton - Jurassic Park - He does lean towards a tighter, lean, prose style, and I'm including him because his success is equally undeniable proof that a lean style can also work, when well written.
• Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman - Good Omens
• Bram Stoker - Dracula
• Anne Rice - The Vampire Chronicles (series), Interview with the Vampire, Lives of the Mayfair Witches
• Brandon Sanderson - Mistborn and The Stormlight Archives
• Robert Jordan - The Wheel of Time series (a must-read)
• Frank Herbert - Dune
• Guy Gavriel Kay - Tigana and The Lions of Al-Rassan
• Clive Barker - Imajica
• Ursula K. Le Guin - Earthsea

So yeah. This all just boils down to "Write the story the way you want to."
Shape and define your own style, and your readers WILL find you.
It is OKAY to be detailed in your descriptions. The important thing, is how well it flows and pulls your reader into the story and the world that you've created.

The best advice I can offer though, is that Description follows Action. Beyond this, Utilize all the senses, not just sight. (You're already doing this second one, so keep doing it. And then do it some more.)
Lastly, if you are going to pursue deeper, heavier, prose (which honestly I do very much prefer reading, and use as a metric for quality of literature), you want the reader to experience the vivid sensory details in an active tense. This has been my approach when it comes to delivering the level of detail, and cinematic action that I put into my works. Link the details and descriptions to either a character's motion, action, feelings, the immediate tone of the story, or a vivid sensory experience. As long as everything serves a purpose, then it belongs in your story.

No matter what you write, you won't be able to please everyone. So don't bother trying to. Just do your best to write the story you want to share with the world. Some folks will like it. Some won't. And both are perfectly fine, and remember, as long as you're posting it on a site like SH, you can always go back later and revise it as you hone your skills and technique.

Thanks for attending my Ted-Talk, and have a Merry Christmas.

 

[melchi]

IDK, being too wordy is a thing. However, if it supports what the chapter is trying to do or the paragraph is doing then that's good. The problem is if the main thing is getting drowned out by run-on sentences. The story has to be consistent with itself.

 

[LuciferVermillion]

Now here's the problem.

It has something to do with the plot, but if I explain too much over those little details, it became an info dump.
And another problem is, does story always contains lots of dialogues or conversations?

For example, here's a scene I'm working out on:

---

"Alright then, let's get down to business, shall we?" With a clap, Principal invited us to sit in front of his desk as he casually sat on his seat.

BAM!!!

He immediately slammed his fist down on the table when we sat.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, LEFIYA RIOS CHALLIA!? HOW MANY TIMES HAD I WARNED YOU NOT TO STICK YOURSELF INTO TROUBLE!!?" Principal yelled with bloodcurdling anger.

…It made a dent at the table.

It surprised Lefiya so much that her hair turned mauve purple, but not me— I'm already used to it. It's his common pattern to slam onto something when he's angry.

"Wait, so it's like, she's gone missing before too?" I asked.

"No, no, that's not it." Principal corrected me. "It's just that every single trouble she involves herself in is putting this country into greatttttt danger."

"I-I-I-I-I'm sorry……" Lefiya hurriedly apologises by bowing her head several times.

"What do you mean…… putting this country into greattttttt danger?" I asked.

Principal heaved a short sigh afterwards.

"Allow me to make an official introduction as the king of Central Imperial Island……" Principal said to me, and then he made an introducing gesture with his hand pointing at Lefiya. "This— constant troublemaker is Lefiya Rios Challia, the one and only princess of Skogalfheimr."

Skogalfheimr, known as the land of the forest elves, is one of the World Tree Yggdrasil Republic countries and the country managing the world tree Yggdrasil.

Skogalfheimr is also one of the six allied countries of Central Imperial Island.

…However, that's the only thing I know about Skogalheimr. I wasn't given much information regarding the six allied countries of Central Imperial Island.

"Okay…?" I replied, with my right brow raised in undisguised wonder. "And…?"

“Her father is Legolin Rios, the King of Skogalfheimr.” He muttered. "Yes, it might not seem important to you, but it's best if you remember his name."

"Why?" I asked, with my brow still raised.

"Why? You ask?" Principal answered with a scorned laugh. "Because he— was the Magic King, the one and only that stood at the pinnacle of magic. So if he wants to, he could flip this entire island upside down without a need to snap his fingers."

"…That's……"

I found myself to be at a loss for words. It's not because I found it terrifying, but because I found it absurd.

I can't really imagine how he could flip the entire island upside down. Does this mean I would fall to the sea if he flipped it?

And— The Magic King…?

Lefiya Rios Challia's the daughter of the Magic King…? No wonder her magic theory's off the charts.

"… It's true." Lefiya continued. "My father doesn't follow the laws of magic like how everyone does."

"That's not the point, at all— Lefiya Rios Challia." Prinicpal reminded Lefiya. "If anything happens to you— his one and only precious daughter, no one here could stop your father's tantrum. So would you please stay out of any trouble and live like a NORMAL HIGHSCHOOL GIRL?!"

Principal seemed to be in a lot of pain; I could tell from his tone.

"I-It's not like I wanted to……" Lefiya fidgeted her fingers.

"Oh yeah?" Principal uttered. "Does involving yourself to find the culprits of cyberbullying, search of the suspects of thefts of weaponry, and locating the mysterious hitman for the traumatic injury cases is telling me that you wanted to stay out of it…? I don't think so!"

What is she, a detective? And those cases Principal mentioned, seem to have similarities to what he was reading just now.

… Let's add some oil to the fire.

"Oh, and this time she got into some physical bullying by meddling with some lovebirds' quarrel," I added.

"L-Lovebirds quarrel…!? I-I didn't do anything…!"

"Why am I not surprised." Principal rolled his eyes, then glared at Lefiya. "Care to explain…?"

"I really didn't do anything!" Lefiya refuted with all her might by closing her eyes and flipping her hands. "Really, really, really nothing!"

"Geez, alright, alright, I get it!"

Lefiya's strong refutes made Principal retreat backwards to block half her noise by poking his finger into his left ear.

Then it's as if he gave up on asking Lefiya; he then shifted his gaze to me.

"What's with that lovebird quarrel? What do you have?" He said to me.

By the time Principal asked, I'd already prepared the documents he needed and sent them to his device.

"Open the documents I sent you," I murmured. "First, watch the video."

Principal silently watched the video I captured at 3 times the speed. His forehead popped a vein afterwards, and then he glared at Lefiya.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU— LEFIYA RIOS CHALLIA!?" Principal roared. "YOU HAVE THE POWER TO PROTECT YOURSELF— WHY THE HECK ARE YOU LETTING THEM BEAT YOU TO A PULP!? WHAT YOU DID ISN'T KINDNESS— THAT'S FOOLISHNESS!!!"

Lefiya had her head lowered in shame and her lips bitten in silence. However, the light in her eyes had not faded completely.

Until…

"…I was waiting for a chance."

…she said.

BAM!!!

Principal immediately popped another vein on his forehead in anger and slammed the table again, right at the same spot.

"A CHANCE!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? YOU KNEW THEY WORE THOSE SPECIAL CONTACT LENSES THAT COULD BLOCK YOUR ALL-SEEING EYE!" Principal mumbled. "JUST BEAT THEM UP, REMOVE THOSE LENSES, AND YOU HAVE YOUR CHANCE TO INTERROGATE THEM AS MUCH YOU WANT!"

Ah… his fuse is melting. Maybe Lefiya deserves it, but I don't want to listen to his mumbles. Better turn his attention away.

"Well… though I agree she's somewhat dumb, but it's not like she's practical in this sort of thing." I interrupted Principal.

"Then what about you? What the heck were you doing?!" Principal turned his anger at me.

"Ah… I'm sorry about that. Circumstances happened." I replied. "Someone else aside from these people captured in this video interfered."

"…What?"

In response to my remark, Principal inadvertently blinked his eyes in confusion, seeming at a loss. However, he immediately recovered and sat back in his seat, carefully thinking about it.

"…So you mean, aside from these people in this video— there's a third party?" He asked. "My lord…… they even have reinforcements…? Just how thoroughly planned was this…?"

"Oh, that," I murmured. "Picture 1, 2, and 3."

By the way, the video I captured was up till the moment the scarlet hair girl intended to stab Lefiya's leg the second time.

After Principal selected the pictures I mentioned, I took out a gun and a strand of scarlet hair while carefully explaining the situation to him.

---

And then I realised just their conversation alone lasted for another 2000++ words. I was wondering whether dialogues and conversations this detailed were supposed to be in a story?

 

[Worthy39]

Now here's the problem.

It has something to do with the plot, but if I explain too much over those little details, it became an info dump.
And another problem is, does story always contains lots of dialogues or conversations?

For example, here's a scene I'm working out on:

---

"Alright then, let's get down to business, shall we?" With a clap, Principal invited us to sit in front of his desk as he casually sat on his seat.

BAM!!!

He immediately slammed his fist down on the table when we sat.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, LEFIYA RIOS CHALLIA!? HOW MANY TIMES HAD I WARNED YOU NOT TO STICK YOURSELF INTO TROUBLE!!?" Principal yelled with bloodcurdling anger.

…It made a dent at the table.

It surprised Lefiya so much that her hair turned mauve purple, but not me— I'm already used to it. It's his common pattern to slam onto something when he's angry.

"Wait, so it's like, she's gone missing before too?" I asked.

"No, no, that's not it." Principal corrected me. "It's just that every single trouble she involves herself in is putting this country into greatttttt danger."

"I-I-I-I-I'm sorry……" Lefiya hurriedly apologises by bowing her head several times.

"What do you mean…… putting this country into greattttttt danger?" I asked.

Principal heaved a short sigh afterwards.

"Allow me to make an official introduction as the king of Central Imperial Island……" Principal said to me, and then he made an introducing gesture with his hand pointing at Lefiya. "This— constant troublemaker is Lefiya Rios Challia, the one and only princess of Skogalfheimr."

Skogalfheimr, known as the land of the forest elves, is one of the World Tree Yggdrasil Republic countries and the country managing the world tree Yggdrasil.

Skogalfheimr is also one of the six allied countries of Central Imperial Island.

…However, that's the only thing I know about Skogalheimr. I wasn't given much information regarding the six allied countries of Central Imperial Island.

"Okay…?" I replied, with my right brow raised in undisguised wonder. "And…?"

“Her father is Legolin Rios, the King of Skogalfheimr.” He muttered. "Yes, it might not seem important to you, but it's best if you remember his name."

"Why?" I asked, with my brow still raised.

"Why? You ask?" Principal answered with a scorned laugh. "Because he— was the Magic King, the one and only that stood at the pinnacle of magic. So if he wants to, he could flip this entire island upside down without a need to snap his fingers."

"…That's……"

I found myself to be at a loss for words. It's not because I found it terrifying, but because I found it absurd.

I can't really imagine how he could flip the entire island upside down. Does this mean I would fall to the sea if he flipped it?

And— The Magic King…?

Lefiya Rios Challia's the daughter of the Magic King…? No wonder her magic theory's off the charts.

"… It's true." Lefiya continued. "My father doesn't follow the laws of magic like how everyone does."

"That's not the point, at all— Lefiya Rios Challia." Prinicpal reminded Lefiya. "If anything happens to you— his one and only precious daughter, no one here could stop your father's tantrum. So would you please stay out of any trouble and live like a NORMAL HIGHSCHOOL GIRL?!"

Principal seemed to be in a lot of pain; I could tell from his tone.

"I-It's not like I wanted to……" Lefiya fidgeted her fingers.

"Oh yeah?" Principal uttered. "Does involving yourself to find the culprits of cyberbullying, search of the suspects of thefts of weaponry, and locating the mysterious hitman for the traumatic injury cases is telling me that you wanted to stay out of it…? I don't think so!"

What is she, a detective? And those cases Principal mentioned, seem to have similarities to what he was reading just now.

… Let's add some oil to the fire.

"Oh, and this time she got into some physical bullying by meddling with some lovebirds' quarrel," I added.

"L-Lovebirds quarrel…!? I-I didn't do anything…!"

"Why am I not surprised." Principal rolled his eyes, then glared at Lefiya. "Care to explain…?"

"I really didn't do anything!" Lefiya refuted with all her might by closing her eyes and flipping her hands. "Really, really, really nothing!"

"Geez, alright, alright, I get it!"

Lefiya's strong refutes made Principal retreat backwards to block half her noise by poking his finger into his left ear.

Then it's as if he gave up on asking Lefiya; he then shifted his gaze to me.

"What's with that lovebird quarrel? What do you have?" He said to me.

By the time Principal asked, I'd already prepared the documents he needed and sent them to his device.

"Open the documents I sent you," I murmured. "First, watch the video."

Principal silently watched the video I captured at 3 times the speed. His forehead popped a vein afterwards, and then he glared at Lefiya.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU— LEFIYA RIOS CHALLIA!?" Principal roared. "YOU HAVE THE POWER TO PROTECT YOURSELF— WHY THE HECK ARE YOU LETTING THEM BEAT YOU TO A PULP!? WHAT YOU DID ISN'T KINDNESS— THAT'S FOOLISHNESS!!!"

Lefiya had her head lowered in shame and her lips bitten in silence. However, the light in her eyes had not faded completely.

Until…

"…I was waiting for a chance."

…she said.

BAM!!!

Principal immediately popped another vein on his forehead in anger and slammed the table again, right at the same spot.

"A CHANCE!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!? YOU KNEW THEY WORE THOSE SPECIAL CONTACT LENSES THAT COULD BLOCK YOUR ALL-SEEING EYE!" Principal mumbled. "JUST BEAT THEM UP, REMOVE THOSE LENSES, AND YOU HAVE YOUR CHANCE TO INTERROGATE THEM AS MUCH YOU WANT!"

Ah… his fuse is melting. Maybe Lefiya deserves it, but I don't want to listen to his mumbles. Better turn his attention away.

"Well… though I agree she's somewhat dumb, but it's not like she's practical in this sort of thing." I interrupted Principal.

"Then what about you? What the heck were you doing?!" Principal turned his anger at me.

"Ah… I'm sorry about that. Circumstances happened." I replied. "Someone else aside from these people captured in this video interfered."

"…What?"

In response to my remark, Principal inadvertently blinked his eyes in confusion, seeming at a loss. However, he immediately recovered and sat back in his seat, carefully thinking about it.

"…So you mean, aside from these people in this video— there's a third party?" He asked. "My lord…… they even have reinforcements…? Just how thoroughly planned was this…?"

"Oh, that," I murmured. "Picture 1, 2, and 3."

By the way, the video I captured was up till the moment the scarlet hair girl intended to stab Lefiya's leg the second time.

After Principal selected the pictures I mentioned, I took out a gun and a strand of scarlet hair while carefully explaining the situation to him.

---

And then I realised just their conversation alone lasted for another 2000++ words. I was wondering whether dialogues and conversations this detailed were supposed to be in a story?

Info dumps happen sometimes, but the real issue is how to handle it without it getting boring. There's no avoiding what this is, but I'm assuming you're also struggling to make it shorter. So instead, make it a little longer. From what I read, everything in there is pretty much straight to the point, and a little boring. Add tension early and slowly build it up to reveal the biggest twist at the end, add an interaction between some characters that have good chemistry, just do something to make me feel like I'm enjoying what I'm reading. Do I think you could get away with this for those readers who are already deeply invested? Yeah. Do I think you should at least try to make it more entertaining? Also yeah.

As for the story having lots of dialogue, I don't see an issue with it as long as it's not poorly written.

 

[DismaiNaim]

I'm always bad with descriptions and grammar. Whenever I try to describe something, it always ends up getting too wordy.

Usually, I imagine myself in the scene and started to use my six senses, see, hear, smell, touch, taste, think.

Is there a simpler way to make sure what you were describing doesn't overwhelm your readers?

Let's say:
I drink a glass of orange juice on a table.

Case 1: I saw a cup crystal glassed orange looking juice placed on a fancy table endorsed by marble at its surface and cherry wood as its support. It made me wonder what sort of delicacy drink this is, so I took a sip. But apparently, it was just a simple blended orange juice pulp with bits of pomace, and it felt a little lukewarm, which I think it's supposed to go into the fridge.

Case 2: I saw a cup of orange juice at the table, it looked fancy. Curious, I took a sip of it, but there's this blended pomace mixed within and I think it's not cold enough. So I tossed it into the fridge.

Case 3: I saw a cup of juice on the table, so I took a sip, only to realise it was orange juice.

Sometimes I was wondering if this does not have to do with the plot, should I just ignore it?

New character or new setting, I give them a paragraph and use all five senses. Returning, one sentence pulling out some distinguishing characteristic [pointy chin etc].

If I need to pad space between a question and the answer or for whatever reason, I'll go back and add more descriptions. The idea is to allow the tension to hold. Also, any time a character does something "for a while" give the setting another sentence or two.

{We embraced for a good long while, and then we kissed}

Vs

{We embraced for a good long while. I took in the cleaning chemicals smell in her hair. All around us, the shelves were half-depleted of garbage bags and spray bottles with hazmat warnings. She kicked a mop bucket away, and we still embraced. Then, I settled on her dark brown eyes, and we kissed.}