How can i write believable relationships.

[TinaMigarlo]

This is gold. All though it may be hard to meet someone that is based on my characters' traits, I can still follow videos and documentaries.

thanks. I was worried I'd come off like a pontificating pedantic pee-pee head.
but you asked how people do "realistic", and that's my formula for it.

the character model for character X in your novel.

you could use the physical model from an actor or anyone public. They *look* like what you imagine this character should look like.
Example, maybe Rutger Hauer is the middle aged knight that leads the kings forces.
But, you have a buddy you work with, known for years. You like his attitude, humor, nervous tics, etc etc.
Rutger Hauer is your physical model, but your buddy is the everything else model. For the same character.

 

[L1aei]

thanks. I was worried I'd come off like a pontificating pedantic pee-pee head.

God! Holy shit... I love that and hate it too because I spat out my cigarillo onto my keyboard in laughter.

 

[MFontana]

How about fiends(kind of like creation of devil? Or hell spawn? For reference you can search Raphael, Mizzora from Baldur's gate 3)? I have two fiends, one cambion(regardless of species they share many common traits but different social status.) Who are poor and into battle arena (which ig you know since you read my book) but all three of them have different personalities. Mc is an impulsive gambler, fmc is a coward, and supporting mc is in between them. One archetype i see is good angel, bad angel, and a person but it would drive attention away from the Mc for now at least.

Best advice I can offer, is think of how these fiends are (at the fundamental level).
Ultimately it's up to you, and your setting, but typically full fiends (demons, devils, daemons, etc etc etc) are heartless. They only ever care about themselves, and advancing their own agendas, whatever those agendas happen to be.
The concept of "friend" just doesn't exist for them.
Sure, you can change that for your setting, if you want, but it will take a fair bit of work to ensure verisimilitude can be maintained.
It can be done, sure, but the first thing you'd really want to consider is the why of it. "Why is this character different than normal fiends?"

I'll use my own setting, for example.
Fiends (true fiends) are monsters.
Fiendlings are the result of tainted human bloodlines. They're mostly human in appearance, and mentality, so while they have a strong leaning towards being evil, heartless, monsters; they don't have to be. They are more "human" than "fiend", and thus the human side tends to win out.

Beyond that...
Like @L1aei already said. Use real human relationships as a reference point, and then filter them through the lens of the character(s) involved. That really is the only "secret" to writing believable relationships.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

God! Holy shit... I love that and hate it too because I spat out my cigarillo onto my keyboard in laughter.

heard that before. on another website some years back. I'd be up late cause I worked 3 to 12 unlike daylight everyone else on the site worked. They would wake up and read the funny shit I posted before they left for work. One said "you owe me a keyboard. I wasn't expecting that, I spit coffee all over it."
I was kind of known for my gonzo humor.
IRL, not *everyone* appreciates it. I mean go figure.

TRIVIA: my personal record for alliteration, since i started keeping track. Is four words in a row, so far left in my new WN project. I thought it worked, or maybe its my darling that needs killed. I don't know why alliteration (usually two) just happens naturally. I have no idea if readers like it or not. It usually happens when I'm doing some heavy description to underscore a big moment.

I'm not wired up right, I know this.

 

[Th3Breadnought]

This is more roundabout work, admittedly, but what worked for me (as in made me happy with what I wrote, not achieved viral attention yet ?) was writing the relationship dynamics and events I wanted to see- that served the story I wanted- then going back to reread, solicit feedback, and edit where things seemed forced/clunky/like a plot device or pulled beta readers out.

Keep in mind... most people aren't experts at friendship, romance, etc. So just effort goes a long way when graded on a curve. I know that's not motivational poster stuff.

 

[c37]

Best advice I can offer, is think of how these fiends are (at the fundamental level).
Ultimately it's up to you, and your setting, but typically full fiends (demons, devils, daemons, etc etc etc) are heartless. They only ever care about themselves, and advancing their own agendas, whatever those agendas happen to be.
The concept of "friend" just doesn't exist for them.
Sure, you can change that for your setting, if you want, but it will take a fair bit of work to ensure verisimilitude can be maintained.
It can be done, sure, but the first thing you'd really want to consider is the why of it. "Why is this character different than normal fiends?"

I'll use my own setting, for example.
Fiends (true fiends) are monsters.
Fiendlings are the result of tainted human bloodlines. They're mostly human in appearance, and mentality, so while they have a strong leaning towards being evil, heartless, monsters; they don't have to be. They are more "human" than "fiend", and thus the human side tends to win out.

Beyond that...
Like @L1aei already said. Use real human relationships as a reference point, and then filter them through the lens of the character(s) involved. That really is the only "secret" to writing believable relationships.

Oh yeah fiends in my setting are little different than usual, best way I can describe them is their daily life includes the Archdevil they are created by and what he represents, it channels the Archdevil's domain and makes him more powerful but yeah they can't feel empathy especially the ones that belong to Noble families. In this case cambions are treated like slave race and the two fiends are at the bottom of the barrel with both of them being orphans, so they can understand his situation.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

Oh yeah fiends in my setting are little different than usual, best way I can describe them is their daily life includes the Archdevil they are created by and what he represents, it channels the Archdevil's domain and makes him more powerful but yeah they can't feel empathy especially the ones that belong to Noble families. In this case cambions are treated like slave race and the two fiends are at the bottom of the barrel with both of them being orphans, so they can understand his situation.

I smell LITrpg coming out of this one. Call it a hunch.

Me? I rolled up a decent character for my life. But it seems WIS was my dump stat.

 

[c37]

I smell LITrpg coming out of this one. Call it a hunch.

Me? I rolled up a decent character for my life. But it seems WIS was my dump stat.

Damn i didn't realize my story was a blend of dark fantasy/Litrpg till now.

 

[Anonjohn20]

How can i write more believable friendships, relationships, toxic-relationships? What micro actions or traits help? What do i need to show to make it believable?

Tiny addition to the advice others have given you. I find that communication in the majority of fiction is too clean. There are rarely ever any misunderstandings or assumptions, or people "jumping the gun." Sometimes in life:
1. One person tries to say something, and the listener understands the exact opposite of what the speaker was trying to convey. Example: when I was a child, I was in martial arts, and I tried asking my mom to switch dojos because my instructor was obsessed with katas, and I wasn't learning anything new—imagine watching Karate Kid, but the master never bothers to teach after the wax on, wax off lesson; MC just keeps doing chores indefinitely. My mom misunderstood and thought I wanted to quit because I "found it too hard," when I actually found it too repetitive and wanted an actual lesson and challenge.
2. One person has a reputation that makes others assume they did, said, or were going to do something that they didn't. Example: Have you ever met a person who cheated on their significant other, but rather than ending the relationship, the other person "forgives" them and "tries to make it work"? Whenever the former cheater gets home late or has any unexplained absence, the former victim of cheating will assume it happened again (even if it didn't) because the reputation is already there.
3. One person is about to convey something, but mid-sentence, the listener interrupts him and answers to what they thought the speaker was going to say rather than what they actually did say. Example: a recently married woman finds a job she really wanted, but when she says to her loved ones, "I have great news," they think she's about to announce a pregnancy.
4. One person talks over another. Example: during a team meeting, if a person is explaining an idea and another interrupts with, “Actually, I think we should do it this way,” before the first person has finished their point.
etc.

Realistic dialogue and their consequences can lead to realistic relationships and relationship struggles.

 

[LastMinami]

Use yourself as a reference, and your friends too. If you can't, watch anime or series. If that takes too long, play visual novels. If you can't do that... Imagine the kind of friendship you'd want.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

Damn i didn't realize my story was a blend of dark fantasy/Litrpg till now.

I played AD&D as a teenager. Had all the books, the dice, everything. Did DMing too, but I much preferred playing. Though I did enjoy doing the voices of the monsters and NPCs. You guys were talking devils, arch devils, fiends. That's DnD talk, which means you'll be into litRPG. Me, I couldn't see myself ever writing litRPG. But if I ever try, I would only do a strict original AD&D version.

 

[c37]

I played AD&D as a teenager. Had all the books, the dice, everything. Did DMing too, but I much preferred playing. Though I did enjoy doing the voices of the monsters and NPCs. You guys were talking devils, arch devils, fiends. That's DnD talk, which means you'll be into litRPG. Me, I couldn't see myself ever writing litRPG. But if I ever try, I would only do a strict original AD&D version.

DnD's Hell and it's structure, the whole Descent into Avernus was why i started writing this book. Even though i did not play DnD (i badly want to play, i wished if there was someone to teach.) I still watch few videos. Ig you can draw parallels(Only the Archdevils and fiends part) between my story and DnD's hell.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

I played AD&D as a teenager. Had all the books, the dice, everything. Did DMing too, but I much preferred playing. Though I did enjoy doing the voices of the monsters and NPCs. You guys were talking devils, arch devils, fiends. That's DnD talk, which means you'll be into litRPG. Me, I couldn't see myself ever writing litRPG. But if I ever try, I would only do a strict original AD&D version.

I keep wanting to track these down but have not yet - when he died, James M. Ward (who, among other things, wrote the original Deities and Demigods book for AD&D) was about halfway through a planned five or seven volume LitRPG series with a co-author, using a newer game system he helped design (and mostly Egyptian mythology for the setting IIRC)

 

[K_Nishi]

The Principles of Food Theory in Storytelling

In characterization, "Food Theory" suggests that a character's nature is revealed through their interaction with food. Good characters treat food with respect and care, reflecting their moral integrity. Conversely, villains treat food carelessly or with disrespect, signaling their destructive nature. Finally, mysterious or unknown figures are defined by the fact that they never eat, maintaining an air of secrecy and detachment from the physical world.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

The Principles of Food Theory in Storytelling

In characterization, "Food Theory" suggests that a character's nature is revealed through their interaction with food. Good characters treat food with respect and care, reflecting their moral integrity. Conversely, villains treat food carelessly or with disrespect, signaling their destructive nature. Finally, mysterious or unknown figures are defined by the fact that they never eat, maintaining an air of secrecy and detachment from the physical world.

That's bizarre but makes some sense, especially if you watch Korean, Japanese or Italian dramas (and especially the odd Korean-Italian crossovers like the brilliant but odd Vincenzo).

 

[Dawnathon]

I haven't met anybody since my last ER visit, so I can't say I'm a social butterfly. But at the same time, even some of the acclaimed best romances/friendships/etc I've seen, I can't say a lot of them seemed natural to me. Very clearly forced to get these characters interacting in a certain way, or one character being obsessed for no reason. Just think of how many "well written yanderes" are obsessed over an MC with the personality of sliced bread, just because "he's nice" in a world of other fairly boring nice people.

More than believable, the real quality is "compelling". Really making people want to root for them or see their shenanigans or get excited over their rivalry. Just give it a lot of spice, especially if it's a side plot and only gets so little screentime. It's probably more realistic if you have two characters text each other going "wats up" "nm hbu" "nm lol" "lol", but people aren't going to be captivated reading it.

 

[TinaMigarlo]

The Principles of Food Theory in Storytelling

In characterization, "Food Theory" suggests that a character's nature is revealed through their interaction with food. Good characters treat food with respect and care, reflecting their moral integrity. Conversely, villains treat food carelessly or with disrespect, signaling their destructive nature. Finally, mysterious or unknown figures are defined by the fact that they never eat, maintaining an air of secrecy and detachment from the physical world.

is that one of those "insider things".
I know you "signal" professionals that you are part of the scene, when you JC a character.
if the character's initials are J.C., he's going to Jesus Christ at or near the end.
That is to say, selflessly offer his life up for the good of everyone.

now that you mention food theory... the steward of Gondor in LOTR movie.
I remember *not* liking his character, because he squished cherry tomatoes and dribbled the juice down his face, eating.
I expected better manners form a king, even a stand-in king (steward)

food for thought.
(pun intended)

although... in Sherlock Holmes.
Holmes ate rather ravenously, after reading the fiancee so well, and she threw her wine glass in his face.

though that would maybe be busting a trope at that point.

 

[c37]

is that one of those "insider things".
I know you "signal" professionals that you are part of the scene, when you JC a character.
if the character's initials are J.C., he's going to Jesus Christ at or near the end.
That is to say, selflessly offer his life up for the good of everyone.

now that you mention food theory... the steward of Gondor in LOTR movie.
I remember *not* liking his character, because he squished cherry tomatoes and dribbled the juice down his face, eating.
I expected better manners form a king, even a stand-in king (steward)

food for thought.
(pun intended)

although... in Sherlock Holmes.
Holmes ate rather ravenously, after reading the fiancee so well, and she threw her wine glass in his face.

though that would maybe be busting a trope at that point.

That image of him eating is engraved into my gray matter.

 

[Conqueror_Quack]

The Principles of Food Theory in Storytelling

In characterization, "Food Theory" suggests that a character's nature is revealed through their interaction with food. Good characters treat food with respect and care, reflecting their moral integrity. Conversely, villains treat food carelessly or with disrespect, signaling their destructive nature. Finally, mysterious or unknown figures are defined by the fact that they never eat, maintaining an air of secrecy and detachment from the physical world.

Hannibal Lecter must be an angel sent by
God then.

 

[BearlyAlive]

Just lie your ass off. Can't be worse than most "relationships" written in modern romance novels... "I'm gonna rape you, and you will like it because Í'm a thousand-year-old brooding psychopath." "I love you, rape me here and now!"