Actually, he's got a point with 7, though he could've worded that part better. You will get a lot of scammers trying to tell you they have ideas, and then just sell you AI generated art for your cover. As for the rest, I didn't read your story, but based on what he said, let me try to translate, but nicer.
1. I don't think I could phrase that much better, if they made some sort of agency to handle things since the police couldn't, then it makes more sense that the regular police are underfunded, not this new system.
2. You should probably give a better description of the city, at least the general atmosphere and what type of era (cyberpunk, modern, medieval).
3. Didn't really understand that one too well, but I think he means you're transitioning to where characters are is a bit confusing, so he can't keep track of that.
4. Probably just means to add descriptions for you characters.
5. Even if your story is mostly about action, without a good plot, you're basically solo leveling without any of the good animation, so maybe work on your pacing a bit, and add more character development.
6. Bye.
Of course, that's all just me guessing based on what he said, I didn't actually have time to read it, so I could be totally wrong about what they meant.
