Help, I Need Help

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

Hello, it's me, Thorn! ?

I've been told my transitions are a little wonky.

What should I do?

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Uhh... shouldn't you be giving US examples of your wonky transitions?

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

Uhh... shouldn't you be giving US examples of your wonky transitions?

Examples:

3 hours later, Collin rode through the streets on his motorcycle.

Later that night, Collin and his friends met up at the abandoned mall.


I kinda use these a lot when I wanna show time passing

 

[RainyLiquid]

Examples:

3 hours later, Collin rode through the streets on his motorcycle.

Later that night, Collin and his friends met up at the abandoned mall.


I kinda use these a lot when I wanna show time passing

I don't really know if I would say those are bad transitions. I guess if it happens a lot, that would be bad, but there are plenty of works that also hand-wave the passing of time and just give a quick, brief mention. I think it would need to come down to what the scene was before that the transition appears in, and then the scene it's going toward. Saying '3 hours later,' I don't think is that bad on its own, but depending on what happened before that moment or how abrupt it was, it could cause it to feel wonky and stiff if it didn't have the time to breathe properly.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Examples:

3 hours later, Collin rode through the streets on his motorcycle.

Later that night, Collin and his friends met up at the abandoned mall.


I kinda use these a lot when I wanna show time passing

It's about style.

Read my I was summoned by a super Villainess.

That has most of my strangest transitions.

 

[LeilaniOtter]

There's nothing wrong with your transitions, but if these are common examples you use in your writing, you could "dress them up" a little, with some description or details. For instance, you mention "later that night", so you could add something that describes the night, or a city street on a motorcycle, you could bring up the sounds of the motorcycle, or the description of the street (if it was empty or not), etc. *^^*

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Hello, it's me, Thorn! ?

I've been told my transitions are a little wonky.

What should I do?

I would suggest directly asking the people saying this what they mean, and if they have any advice about specific scenes.

 

[WhaleSprite]

Examples:

3 hours later, Collin rode through the streets on his motorcycle.

Later that night, Collin and his friends met up at the abandoned mall.


I kinda use these a lot when I wanna show time passing

As long as you mean this as two separate examples and not together. I don't see a problem with it. ? Yeah might want to ask the specific person what they mean and ask for examples.