Give me phrases/sentence you want me to read

[Deleted member 22388]

Edit; Cough* cough* for the phrases I meant any sentence, English is my second language.
I will be reading any phrases as long its safe for work. Will upload a YouTube video later on and it may be raw.
the maximum 500 words should be okay per person, let the sentence go wild, unexpected and fun or comedic as the highest literature.
So ye.. give me your shot and I will break your neck off(jo-dan jo-dan).
No curse words pls. I will kick your arse.
If you post vids, it will take time for me to do an impression which I don't know off.

ORITE-TO

But first I kind of wonder....(check poll)

 

[Ellieporter]

Hō… mukatte kuru no ka…… nigezu ni kono DIO ni chikadzuite kuru no ka…… sekkaku sofu no Josefu ga watashi no sekai' no shōtai o, shiken shūryō chaimu chokuzen made mondai o hodoite iru jukensei no yōna hisshi koita kibun de oshiete kureta to iu no ni………

 

[Deleted member 22388]

Hō… mukatte kuru no ka…… nigezu ni kono DIO ni chikadzuite kuru no ka…… sekkaku sofu no Josefu ga watashi no sekai' no shōtai o, shiken shūryō chaimu chokuzen made mondai o hodoite iru jukensei no yōna hisshi koita kibun de oshiete kureta to iu no ni………

Oh gosh, this is the first GHAHAHA. Ok I think I will come back in 30 minutes and ready myself with recording XD.

 

[Minx]

I see my time has come.

Anyway, the phrase is:
Nyanyame nyanyajyuunyanya-do no nyarabi de nyakunyaku inyanyaku nyanyahan nyanyadai nyanynaku nyarabete nyaganyagame.

 

[IDKWtWrite-San]

Eggman's Announcement Fandub ( 4Kids Version/ Hero Version )

Hehehe, hey everyone! Guess what? I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you,

I'm keeping your stocks. That's right you ugly little girl, I HATE YOU and your STUPID NOSE, I'm taking EVERYTHING from you, GIVE me your phone.

I'm taking over Victoria's Secret,...
I'm taking over Best Buy,... the News is MINE and EVERYONE ELSE CAN LEAVE, you see that planet!? I'M TAKING IT TOO!

IT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING WALNUT! BLAM! AND IT BUSTED A NUT! THEN AND THERE!

*Tries your best to do an eggman evil laugh impression* Now DIE.
- Laser sound for 5 sec ( i think ? )
Fuck you moon, you never had the cheese I wanted!
*Pause for 2-4 Sec or before the 24 hour timer shows up.*
I hope you're ready to die, It's gonna be like Evangelion, get the fuck out.

 

[Mellohwa]

Do this pwease~

 

[IDKWtWrite-San]

Should I just make you say you're a beta male sonic instead . I maybe think that's more funny to dub.

 

[BlackKnightX]

Edit; Cough* cough* for the phrases I meant any sentence, English is my second language.
I will be reading any phrases as long its safe for work. Will upload a YouTube video later on and it may be raw.
the maximum 500 words should be okay per person, let the sentence go wild, unexpected and fun or comedic as the highest literature.
So ye.. give me your shot and I will break your neck off(jo-dan jo-dan).
No curse words pls. I will kick your arse.
If you post vids, it will take time for me to do an impression which I don't know off.

ORITE-TO

But first I kind of wonder....(check poll)

The fourth one kind of reminds me of Accelerator.

 

[greyblob]

I don't know if this is 500words or more, so just read however many you want. you can also skip any f bombs

Spoiler

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.

They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.

When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.

Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence.

Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

 

[owotrucked]

Read this

 

[Ilikewaterkusa]

Edit; Cough* cough* for the phrases I meant any sentence, English is my second language.
I will be reading any phrases as long its safe for work. Will upload a YouTube video later on and it may be raw.
the maximum 500 words should be okay per person, let the sentence go wild, unexpected and fun or comedic as the highest literature.
So ye.. give me your shot and I will break your neck off(jo-dan jo-dan).
No curse words pls. I will kick your arse.
If you post vids, it will take time for me to do an impression which I don't know off.

ORITE-TO

But first I kind of wonder....(check poll)

In manly voice
-
Polki idut stenoy,
Krasivo derzhat stroy
I gordo shelestyat znamena,
Kombat i ryadovoy - yedinoyu sudʹboy
My svyazany navek, drug moy.

Sluzhitʹ Rossii suzhdeno tebe i mne,
sluzhitʹ Rossii - udivitelʹnoy strane,
Gde solntse novoye vstayet na nebe sinem
Plecho k plechu idut Rossiyskiye voyska,
I pustʹ voyennaya doroga nelegka,
My budem veroyu i pravdoyu sluzhitʹ Rossii.

V besstrashii atak
Spasli my Russkiy flag
I dom rodnoy i nashi pesni.
A kolʹ pridet beda, s toboyu my togda
Otchiznu zashchitim, drug moy.

Sluzhitʹ Rossii suzhdeno tebe i mne,
sluzhitʹ Rossii - udivitelʹnoy strane,
Gde solntse novoye vstayet na nebe sinem
Plecho k plechu idut Rossiyskiye voyska,
I pustʹ voyennaya doroga nelegka,
My budem veroyu i pravdoyu sluzhitʹ Rossii.

Polki idut stenoy,
krasivo derzhat stroy
i vmeste s nami vsya Rossiya
I on, i ty, i ya - armeyskaya semʹya
i etim my silʹny, drug moy.

Sluzhitʹ Rossii suzhdeno tebe i mne,
Sluzhitʹ Rossii - udivitelʹnoy strane,
Gde solntse novoye vstayet na nebe sinem
Plecho k plechu idut Rossiyskiye voyska,
I pustʹ voyennaya doroga nelegka,
My budem veroyu i pravdoyu sluzhitʹ Rossii.

Sluzhitʹ Rossii suzhdeno tebe i mne,
Sluzhitʹ Rossii - udivitelʹnoy strane,
Gde solntse novoye vstayet na nebe sinem
Plecho k plechu idut rossiyskiye voyska,
I pustʹ voyennaya doroga nelegka,
My budem... sluzhitʹ... Rossii !
https://lyricstranslate.com

 

[RepresentingSilence]

I'd love to hear you read the gospel of the UNBREADED

For more context

 

[Deleted member 22388]

In manly voice
-
Polki idut stenoy,
Krasivo derzhat stroy
I gordo shelestyat znamena,
Kombat i ryadovoy - yedinoyu sudʹboy
My svyazany navek, drug moy.

Sluzhitʹ Rossii suzhdeno tebe i mne,
sluzhitʹ Rossii - udivitelʹnoy strane,
Gde solntse novoye vstayet na nebe sinem
Plecho k plechu idut Rossiyskiye voyska,
I pustʹ voyennaya doroga nelegka,
My budem veroyu i pravdoyu sluzhitʹ Rossii.

V besstrashii atak
Spasli my Russkiy flag
I dom rodnoy i nashi pesni.
A kolʹ pridet beda, s toboyu my togda
Otchiznu zashchitim, drug moy.

Sluzhitʹ Rossii suzhdeno tebe i mne,
sluzhitʹ Rossii - udivitelʹnoy strane,
Gde solntse novoye vstayet na nebe sinem
Plecho k plechu idut Rossiyskiye voyska,
I pustʹ voyennaya doroga nelegka,
My budem veroyu i pravdoyu sluzhitʹ Rossii.

Polki idut stenoy,
krasivo derzhat stroy
i vmeste s nami vsya Rossiya
I on, i ty, i ya - armeyskaya semʹya
i etim my silʹny, drug moy.

Sluzhitʹ Rossii suzhdeno tebe i mne,
Sluzhitʹ Rossii - udivitelʹnoy strane,
Gde solntse novoye vstayet na nebe sinem
Plecho k plechu idut Rossiyskiye voyska,
I pustʹ voyennaya doroga nelegka,
My budem veroyu i pravdoyu sluzhitʹ Rossii.

Sluzhitʹ Rossii suzhdeno tebe i mne,
Sluzhitʹ Rossii - udivitelʹnoy strane,
Gde solntse novoye vstayet na nebe sinem
Plecho k plechu idut rossiyskiye voyska,
I pustʹ voyennaya doroga nelegka,
My budem... sluzhitʹ... Rossii !
https://lyricstranslate.com

 

[Agentt]

My thighs are just so soft, it sometimes bedazzles me how alluring my thighs are, they just wrap around anything you place in between. With the consistency of the finest aerosol, one of the utmost heavenly experiences should be to motorboat one's head inbetween my juicy pump, peach-like thighs.

 

[ABCGUY]

Gute Deutsche Qualität