Free Feedback Thread [Closed - Currently Reading!]

[Para23]

Hey there, I'm Kaisei!!

I asked for feedback in another thread and wanted to return the favor in some way. I read a lot and have done some soft editing for writing friends with their debut novels and/or webnovel projects. Post your links here if you want feedback. Let me know how much you want me to read (I'll probably set a soft limit of 10,000 words, but I'm open to more if I can be convinced), what you're looking for, do you want me to offer any criticism, or do you simply want to know what I liked and what's working with your work, what you're trying to focus on or improve with your craft?

If I ignore your work, I apologize, I probably simply overlooked it, please DM me! :D

Happy writing!

Hi! Thanks for hosting! I'd like some feedback and criticisms as well, I can definitely benefit from both! You can read up to chapter 4 if you feel like it!

Scripted Fate

The off rhythm tick of a clock, and the acidic smell of blood. A lifeless body, and a letter, blood seeping into the floor of an inn I had no memory of. And a revolver, clutched in my own hand. In an age of churning gears and steam engines that...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Ultimatedaywriter]

First Sage

Its a little dystopia, scifi, and fantasy held together with by good old American culture.

 

[Ahrihn]

Hello! If you could butcher this and destroy my self-esteem it would be great!
I'm writing a series of one-shots or open-ended shorts — read as many as you want, though there's only three rn lol

Collection of Tragedies

A collection of short tales and stories. Because most people don't get happiness in life.

www.scribblehub.com

Thank you!!

 

[Elsmere]

My work is 150k words long but it's being released like a serial so it should be pretty manageable to read through. I'll be releasing it chapter by chapter on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. I'm really just looking for someone to read through it and talk about it with me! c:

In Fairytales

On a journey to assess the condition of his utopia after a great war, the High Emperor of Imaginarion, Kullervo Skyforth and his family, discover the plot of a witch to overthrow his reign and his world. Along the way they will learn the meaning of family and how to...

www.scribblehub.com

Please message me with any comments, questions, or concerns!

 

[KDBooks97]

Hello, I so appreciate the work you're doing. If you like snarky, slow-burn LGBTQ coming of age stories, you're welcome to give mine a look. It does contain some depictions of S/H and violence, but they are not explicit and don't go on for very long. I have 12 chapters and 29k words currently, but it is increasing as I post new chapters.
Read as much or as little as you like and you're welcome to tell me anything you'd like me to know, positive or negative, gentle or harsh. I will be taking any feedback I get and using it to improve my writing.

The Miserably Macabre Tales of Luna Samuels

'My name is Faith Elizabeth Samuels. Well, it used to be, before I left my fundamentalist helicopter parents and started going by Luna... My counselor tells me writing will help me to 'heal'. Somehow, writing my feelings of depression, anxiety, self harm and suicidal thoughts will negate a...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[kaisei]

Hey everyone! I've been sick so I haven't had time to read, but now that I've beaten back whatever this flu or cold was, I'll be slowly getting back to this. ^^

Amazing feedback, I do get where you're coming from with with the style and voice. Thinking back, I have been going back and forth between giving the narrator a personality and not. But I also like the idea that the narrator isn't omniscient, he's just describing it as it is.

Also for the gesticulate thing, do you know anything that could be used besides it? I tried thinking of a word for hand movements but only gesticulate came to mind.

Again thank you, Perspective is definitely something I have to work on among other things.

In this particular case, I would have spent a bit more time describing their wild hand gestures. I just think the phrasing itself just bumps me out of the story. Feels too technical.