FREE FEEDBACK. Meme Image review session. [Open - Open minded too]

[blushiemagic]

Don’t let your memes be dreams

Chapter 1: https://write.ellipsus.com/edit/cf843f5e-f819-43ea-b77e-bdecf6a642ba
Chapter 2: https://write.ellipsus.com/edit/c9dace26-981a-4dae-8157-d5f238f2c9f0
Chapter 3: https://write.ellipsus.com/edit/6d5728a9-a651-4adf-85f6-61db76fd6f1a

 

[eagle_360]

salt is the best flavor!

Mine is a 'slow' start at first.

Let's see...
This quadruple extreme spacing is killing me...srsly

1. Odd

Amy Vasser was an odd girl.

That's odd.

In Chemistry she’d be mixing far too many chemicals for one tiny beaker. And it wouldn't explode.


In Math she’d be fiddling with her calculator - and I swear on my life one time it floated.

Mr White?!

Entering school, I headed straight to class, lugging along my heavy backpack with all the books I would need for the day.

Heavy backpack mhm...

Taking the first open seat I saw (I was late), I looked to my left and saw her.

The last seat is usually the worse seat.

She'd always peeved me. Maybe peeved isn't the right word.

Peeved?

I just left my mouth open like a dumbass.

Mouth open?

Wondering. Yeah, that was my natural state around her. You don't know a damn thing even when she says it straight to your face. "We need to inform the people” my butt. Possession?

Your sentence is having a stroke.

The sunlight streamed through the windows, casting a beautifully eerie aura over her. The curtains billowing, the wind only slightly cold, and the absolutely freakish Picasso-type painting on the wall in front of her.

What if she was too short?

She gestured for me to come over. I could only obey.

“Astute observation, my apprentice.”

“When did I become your apprentice?”

Apprentice? They're usually bad...

Silence. But, not uncomfortable. I just watched the painting, trying to figure out its painter at the same time.

We've tired to figure out many painters before...

“I called you closed-minded.”

Open-minded?

“Wait at the gate today. I’ll show up around 2:40.”

That's some exact time-ish time.

School dragged on after that. I found myself oddly excited. Regardless if it was proof of ghosts or not, it was bound to be the wackiest experience I had in years with Amy at the reins. If nothing else, I'd have a funny story to tell. Maybe I’d get a few questions answered, even if a bunch more were posed.

How do you know it would be a wacky experience. You just met her?

I’d almost dozed off by 2:40 when a cold hand pressed against the back of my neck.

I jumped out of my skin and yelped, getting a slight smirk out of her. “What the hell was that for?”

“You needed a little boost. You should be thanking me.”

“Like hell. Why is your hand—”

“I helped the nurse with some ice bags. Now are you ready to go?”

Should probably warm them up...

Flabbergasted, and since I had already missed my bus, I had no choice but to prove her right.

Flabber?

---

Verdict :

Spooky ghost potential romance supernatural?

 

[HouseDelarouxScribbles]

/Conspiracy/ Girls >The Showdown of Madison Delaroux

//Cute and funny 4chan girls expose conspiracies.// Serial Channer Madison Delaroux and conspiracy-denier Ayano Sane are back! Glowies, culties and jannies beware! ESPECIALLY! That giga-glowie who calls herself [La Monarquía]! STOP trying to yuribait my accomplice! I don't care how little pantsu...

www.scribblehub.com

Man of memes, hear my call,
seek ancient maymays and laughter!
Unveil thine power levels and thine wisdom,
then,
Post this poetic chant to kek,
otherwise this kitty here will --- [BZZZT!]
(Immunity Dog shall not apply)

 

[Representing_Tromba]

This may be one of the funnier threads.

 

[eagle_360]

Don’t let your memes be dreams

Chapter 1: https://write.ellipsus.com/edit/cf843f5e-f819-43ea-b77e-bdecf6a642ba
Chapter 2: https://write.ellipsus.com/edit/c9dace26-981a-4dae-8157-d5f238f2c9f0
Chapter 3: https://write.ellipsus.com/edit/6d5728a9-a651-4adf-85f6-61db76fd6f1a

Might be a scam link but I've already made sure to click on as many suspicious links in my life, I was told you could build up a virus tolerance like that. But here goes...

Wait...a min...three links...
@Representing_Tromba Asked for a twofer. Now you want a threesome!! Blasphemy...ah fine.

I'll just leave chapter 3 alone.

I rushed through the impossibly large hangar

I stopped as the vehicles around me shimmered and blurred, eventually resolving into entirely different aircraft.

A new but malformed airplane lay on its belly in front of me

What is this sentence. Did the plane become a dog?

I crawled into a nearby anti-gravity pod; it was far from ideal, but it would have to do.

Unfortunately, I was not alone in the pod.

But as usual, my subconscious kept me prisoner.

Small tendrils shot out from the pulsing wall, and a sickening crack rang through my body as they wrapped around my legs.

Where is this going...

I grit my teeth as acid splotched onto my eyelids. A keening whine escaped me, but I kept my mouth sealed shut. No point in letting the acid into my mouth too.

Ouch

I watched helplessly as, in spite of my paralyzed legs, my body crawled over to my holotop.

As one hand worked on the drawing, the other opened up a browser to shop for supplies.

you got two mouses? How u multi-tasking on the computer.

A wave of dizziness hit me, and I crawled back into bed. That had been some shit-quality sleep. Although more nightmares were guaranteed, I would be safe for a while. That one specific dream would have to wait its turn before it could try to puppet me through the real world for one last time. Within seconds, I was unconscious and ready to face the night's next horror.

Wait is he still in his dream?

It was the first day of school, but none of us had any classes today, so it was a good chance to catch up.

"It… it found out. It knows what I'm studying. Next time it'll probably succeed.

What is the eldritch studying and what would he succeed in? Your math exam?

I'm really excited for alternate physics systems

what is that...that's not something studied

The table went quiet after that. None of us were willing to outright acknowledge it, but the war was not going well at all.

There's a war? You've never mentioned a war before.

Spend an exorbitant amount of money renting e-textbooks.

Yup, still expensive.

I had always struggled with flying in even the most lucid of dreams.

Just watch this

'Oh no. Oh no no no. Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!

And my wish was granted by the train announcing my stop.

Wooo...saved by the train!

And the night had just started; if I got captured, I would be in for a whole night of this shit.

Well shit...

---

Verdict :

Well written scary eldritch novel!

Don't sleep or the monster gets you?

Why not fight back?

 

[A-Random-Writer]

Sorry to impose but could you take a look at mine? The first story chapter linked in my signature.


(It sucks so i don't mind if you say no )