For harem writers, how do you decide which girls actually get into a relationship with the MC?

[RepresentingWrath]

I like realism, I think older people might want more realism in their fiction as well - Thats why Game of Thrones was so damn popular. It was gritty and real and raw. Buuuut this probably boils down to personal taste, and I can concede that point.

First of all, it wasn't real at all. At least the first season wasn't real at all, didn't watch past that. Secondly, real life is unrealistic as fuck, it's much more bizzare than any fiction. So talking about realism is pointless. Everyone have their own understanding of realism based on their life experience, knowledge, and empathy.

Another thing I want to add. The realism people got used it isn't realisitc. I'm not talking about Hollywood cliches like cars blowing up or some other terribly exaggerated shit. I'm talking about human relationship and behaviour. People think that all the crazy stuff only happens in a fiction, and that this crazy stuff is unrealistic. Well, it's not. People do unrealistically dumb or crazy shit, and they do it regularly. And lastly, too much realism in fiction only appeals to a very small part of readers.

 

[StrongArm]

First of all, it wasn't real at all. At least the first season wasn't real at all, didn't watch past that. Secondly, real life is unrealistic as fuck, it's much more bizzare than any fiction. So talking about realism is pointless. Everyone have their own understanding of realism based on their life experience, knowledge, and empathy.

Another thing I want to add. The realism people got used it isn't realisitc. I'm not talking about Hollywood cliches like cars blowing up or some other terribly exaggerated shit. I'm talking about human relationship and behaviour. People think that all the crazy stuff only happens in a fiction, and that this crazy stuff is unrealistic. Well, it's not. People do unrealistically dumb or crazy shit, and they do it regularly. And lastly, too much realism in fiction only appeals to a very small part of readers.

bruh

 

[RepresentingWrath]

bruh

Yeah, that's why I constantly reply with bruh. Don't want to waste my time on this.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Historical harems arent as... consensual. Do you think Ghengis Khans harem girls had the ability to walk away? Kings and lords are generally tyrants. Tyrants are big on authoritarianism, not big on freedom. These girls were basically traded as sex objects to a king so their family can have a stronger position at court. It is what it is, that's our history - It was just how things were done back then. But dont kid yourself into thinking that most of those harem girls werent sex slaves.

And its not illogical to apply common sense to a fantasy world - they are still humans, and human psychology would remain mostly the same across worlds and cultures.

I don't think harems are impossible, just that they are improbable unless your MC is a giga-chad or very rich.

I know. I'm just puzzled as to why people keep saying harem is 'impossible'.

As for me, I just separate reality from fiction whenever dealing with fictitious stuff like pop literature, so I don't get pissed at 'illogical' settings. My life is peaceful, and I get to enjoy more stories.

And I partly disagree with you saying that human 'psychology' would remain the same across worlds. Human psychology can also be affected by their culture, which in turn, is affected by the geographical and environmental makeup of the place where they live.

This, in education, is called 'nurture'. The part which you are telling me that human psychology (influenced by DNA they inherit from their parents) is the same is 'nature'. Both aspects affect human behavior, so any group of humans can live different and have different sets of beliefs and values.

Like for example, you claim that all 15 y/o are horny and would bang any girl who'd throw themselves at them.

As a teacher before, I acknowledge the horny part (DNA). There are many times we caught students about to have sex/touching their partner intimately inside our classrooms (our school is small, see? ?? Easy to get caught, but whatever, still horneeeh). As to bang anyone, I've seen examples of teenagers in my country refusing sex/advances because as a society, we're taught to only get intimate after marriage (our culture).

So again, I just enjoy stuff by separating reality from fiction. Unless, of course, the illogicality is too severe to ignore...standards of which is highly-subjective.

 

[Midnight-Phantom]

the hot one with descriptions like jade-like beauty and all ...

 

[Deleted member 54065]

the hot one with descriptions like jade-like beauty and all ...

I can't help but think the girl is made of jade, literally. ?

 

[Midnight-Phantom]

who cares about all of that, main point is that girls in harem novels are described as beautiful and mc gonna catch em all .. and if theirs fan service then it's even better ..

 

[Deleted member 54065]

who cares about all of that, main point is that girls in harem novels are described as beautiful and mc gonna catch em all .. and if theirs fan service then it's even better ..

All the stuff MC needs is pokeballs (to catch em all) and a pokedex (to see if the girl is a tsun, a yandie, a kuu, or a real dere). ??

 

[Midnight-Phantom]

All the stuff MC needs is pokeballs (to catch em all) and a pokedex (to see if the girl is a tsun, a yandie, a kuu, or a real dere). ??

Pokeball are those checky lines and the act of meddling in all and any business and pokedex is probably a system giving intimacy ratings or something like that ..

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Pokeball are those checky lines and the act of meddling in all and any business and pokedex is probably a system giving intimacy ratings or something like that ..

That reminds me...

A typical Filipino pokeball (pickup line): "Kumain ka na ba?" (Have you eaten?)

As for the pokedex, I'd like to have one too, even as I'm not looking for a relationship. Just to warn myself of who to get involved with.

And with that I call Elon Musk.

 

[StrongArm]

I know. I'm just puzzled as to why people keep saying harem is 'impossible'.

As for me, I just separate reality from fiction whenever dealing with fictitious stuff like pop literature, so I don't get pissed at 'illogical' settings. My life is peaceful, and I get to enjoy more stories.

And I partly disagree with you saying that human 'psychology' would remain the same across worlds. Human psychology can also be affected by their culture, which in turn, is affected by the geographical and environmental makeup of the place where they live.

This, in education, is called 'nurture'. The part which you are telling me that human psychology (influenced by DNA they inherit from their parents) is the same is 'nature'. Both aspects affect human behavior, so any group of humans can live different and have different sets of beliefs and values.

Like for example, you claim that all 15 y/o are horny and would bang any girl who'd throw themselves at them.

As a teacher before, I acknowledge the horny part (DNA). There are many times we caught students about to have sex/touching their partner intimately inside our classrooms (our school is small, see? ?? Easy to get caught, but whatever, still horneeeh). As to bang anyone, I've seen examples of teenagers in my country refusing sex/advances because as a society, we're taught to only get intimate after marriage (our culture).

So again, I just enjoy stuff by separating reality from fiction. Unless, of course, the illogicality is too severe to ignore...standards of which is highly-subjective.

Ah, the classic - 'nature vs nurture' - it always comes back to this for me. I'm a nature believer. I'm of the mind that our biology influences our decision-making more than our upbringing. I piss a lot of people off with that argument too. People want to believe in free will and i basically believe that people are animals - slaves to our own nature. Its... not a popular stance. I'm not saying that culture and upbringing doesnt play an incredibly vital role for forming our personality, I just believe genetics & biology play a stronger part.

This is the part where we agree to disagree i suppose. different strokes for different folks. You like high fantasy and i like hyper realism. Its cool - if all people liked the same stuff the world would be a boring place!

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Ah, the classic - 'nature vs nurture' - it always comes back to this for me. I'm a nature believer. I'm of the mind that our biology influences our decision-making more than our upbringing. I piss a lot of people off with that argument too. People want to believe in free will and i basically believe that people are animals - slaves to our own nature. Its... not a popular stance. I'm not saying that culture and upbringing doesnt play an incredibly vital role for forming our personality, I just believe genetics & biology play a stronger part.

This is the part where we agree to disagree i suppose. different strokes for different folks. You like high fantasy and i like hyper realism. Its cool - if all people liked the same stuff the world would be a boring place!

Cheers!

Well, I'm a teacher before, so that nature vs nurture is always in my philosophy whenever I write stuff.

By the way, I tried to apply realism on my isekai harem work, and most of my readers liked my approach. Might want to check on that if you got time. (I'm not saying you should, but I'm pointing a gun at you with a smile. ?)

(Nah, tis just a joke. Lol)

 

[StrongArm]

Cheers!

Well, I'm a teacher before, so that nature vs nurture is always in my philosophy whenever I write stuff.

By the way, I tried to apply realism on my isekai harem work, and most of my readers liked my approach. Might want to check on that if you got time. (I'm not saying you should, but I'm pointing a gun at you with a smile. ?)

(Nah, tis just a joke. Lol)

i might be inclined... does this Honeyfeed site have a darkmode? because white screen fucks my eyes.

 

[Deleted member 113259]

Ah, the classic - 'nature vs nurture' - it always comes back to this for me. I'm a nature believer. I'm of the mind that our biology influences our decision-making more than our upbringing. I piss a lot of people off with that argument too. People want to believe in free will and i basically believe that people are animals - slaves to our own nature. Its... not a popular stance. I'm not saying that culture and upbringing doesnt play an incredibly vital role for forming our personality, I just believe genetics & biology play a stronger part.

Interesting. I found something that I completely agree with while also completely disagreeing with. I too believe nature is a much bigger factor than nurture, but its because I believe in the existence of souls, not animalistic impulses.

 

[Paul__Michaels]

There is enough of MC to go around.

Well the spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

i might be inclined... does this Honeyfeed site have a darkmode? because white screen fucks my eyes.

Yep it does. Scroll further down, and you'll find 'Select Theme'. Select 'Dark Mode' to make the screen dark.

Also, I'm joking. You don't have to read my stuff.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Hey Raki, ive read a few reverse harems even though i'm a guy. I used to be a big fan of the Anita Blake - Vampire Hunter novels by laurel k. hamilton. Despite being smutty, her books were pretty interesting and had a lot of cool action.

Anyway, I had a question for you since you write reverse harem. In a lot of reverse harems, the guys often compete for the MCs affection, but they almost never go beyond light competition. Some guys are down with polyamory, but most get furiously angry at the idea of 'their girl' messing around on them. They would beat the shit out of the other guys in a heartbeat & leave the girls in a lot of these situations.

I know thats the fantasy, to have a legion of hunky dudes worshipping at your altar and making the reader feel like a queen. (plus variety is the spice of life)

But have you ever read or thought about writing a realistic version where the dude is just like "fuck you, I'm out". I guess that wouldnt be too popular lol! But it would be hilarious and shock your readers. (plus, you would DEFINITELY get those 1 star ratings!) A horror version would be a reverse harem where the dudes go all yandere/crazy and kill each other and chain up the MC in the basement so they could love her forever.

Anyway, just a random thought I had and figured I'd ask you since you write reverse harem.

(p.s. i actually did read a little bit of Kaibas Prostitute - but i couldnt get into it because i never watched Yu-Gi-Oh)

I'm polyamorous, and I had five boyfriends at the same time back in 2015. One died, and I consider him a dead boyfriend, not an ex, in the same way that you wouldn't call someone's dead spouse an ex. An ex to me is someone who is not welcome in my life. I have a husband and one living boyfriend at the moment. I had two living boyfriends at the start of the pandemic, but one ghosted. The one I still have attended my wedding. My protagonist started the story with 3 lovers, lost one and gained 2 for a total of 4.

The great thing about polyamory IRL is that people feel less pressure to stay with someone out of fear of being alone. We can go our separate ways without making a big deal over it. This makes it easier to connect with people on a deeper level, because we're not constantly afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing with our current "one and only" true love.

I didn't know that non-monogamy was even an option until I was 19. It was a huge game changer for me.

 

[StrongArm]

I'm polyamorous, and I had five boyfriends at the same time back in 2015. One died, and I consider him a dead boyfriend, not an ex, in the same way that you wouldn't call someone's dead spouse an ex. An ex to me is someone who is not welcome in my life. I have a husband and one living boyfriend at the moment. I had two living boyfriends at the start of the pandemic, but one ghosted. The one I still have attended my wedding. My protagonist started the story with 3 lovers, lost one and gained 2 for a total of 4.

The great thing about polyamory IRL is that people feel less pressure to stay with someone out of fear of being alone. We can go our separate ways without making a big deal over it. This makes it easier to connect with people on a deeper level, because we're not constantly afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing with our current "one and only" true love.

I didn't know that non-monogamy was even an option until I was 19. It was a huge game changer for me.

Whoa, that really came out of left field there - that was not the response i was expecting when i asked that question...

But, suppose i had that one comin for reading a few reverse harems and assuming they were all the same - the stone aint monolithic

I disagree with certain types of polyamory for a few different reasons, but i'm not about to tell anybody how to live their life...

Damn, now that i think about it, guys on here write about harems - something they can only fantasize about - and YOU have actually HAD a harem! Nice Most ive ever done is sleep with two girls at the same time a few times. I salute you, Senior Player of the Game

 

[ForestDweller]

Real life harem is nowhere near as nice as anime harem lol. So much drama.

Edit:
I suddenly thought out a concept for a harem member that I've yet to insert in my story.

A grumpy, lazy NEET girl.

My MC doesn't like to work at his previous life so he totally can relate. ?

Bit too late for a character like that to appear unfortunately. Same like the usual slave girl trope. Couldn't figure out a good backstory for her so I ended up cutting her out.

There was also a stern knight woman. Also got cut out.

For the MC's male kids. ?

 

[BearlyAlive]

Not a harem author, but a huge fan of history documentation, so I'm on the team "fantasy harems are impossible" for historical reasons. Historical harem lords are pretty much legalized slave owners since the girls were objects their families gave away for more power. And the girls were pretty much snakes in a henhouse, minus the hens. So all fangs and poison, and cloak and dagger. Imagine dirty politics crossbred with gang wars but everyone lives in the same house. And now tell me people actually want something like that?

Funny enough the Chinese harems are the most realistic fantasy harems since girls are pretty much just objects given away by their families for more power.

Also for most harems the rule of thumb is the more boring and traitless a character seems to be the higher the chances of ending in the harem. Prove me wrong ?