First-Time Writer Here — Would Love Feedback on Yantra Protocol

[tantrayaan]

Hey everyone,

I’m a first-time writer and just put out the first few chapters of my story Yantra Protocol. It’s a mix of harem romance, Indian mythology, thriller, and some pretty raw emotional moments. The story is meant to be grounded, character-driven evoking vivid images of the world it is set in.

Yantra Protocol

Bharath moves from Chennai to Calcutta to join Heritage City — one of India’s top football clubs — with dreams of becoming a professional footballer. But after rescuing a mysterious man from a robbery, he finds himself drawn into a hidden world of vivid dreams, powerful women, and ancient forces...

www.scribblehub.com

Honestly, this is the kind of story I always wanted to read — mixing a bit of wildness with real emotions — so I decided to try writing it myself. Now that a few chapters are out, I'd really love to hear what people think.

(Excerpt from Chapter 2 below)

“I didn’t want to ruin you,” she said quietly. “I didn’t want to live that life anymore.”

Bharath folded his arms. “Tell me everything.”

She sank onto the floor, voice low but clear.

“They call themselves the Syndicate. They use girls like me—pretty, poor, invisible—to lure in men. Build trust. Break it. Drain their lives dry. I did it. Many times. But not with you. I couldn’t.”

Bharath sat on the edge of the coffee table, heart pounding.

“How do I know this isn’t still part of the con?”

She reached into her bag and pulled out a tiny recorder — the device she was supposed to plant in his home.
“I didn’t do it," she said. "I came here instead. Because you’re the only one who ever looked at me like a person... and not a job.”

If you get a chance to read even a little, would love to hear your honest thoughts:

• What parts pulled you in?
• What didn’t quite land?
• Anything you want to see more of?

I'm still figuring everything out as I go, so any feedback would seriously help. Thanks so much if you take the time to check it out!

Appreciate you all

 

[Blingbee]

This story is great so far. I've left you comments on your story.

Love the characters - very non-tropey. Loving Priya's character the best at the moment.

How often are you planning to release chapters? What is your release schedule?

 

[tantrayaan]

Wow.. thanks!

Hope you continue to read. I plan on releasing one chapter every week. Not sure which day has the best chance to get the most views... will probably experiment to see which day works best. I released Chapter 4 today. Will probably release something early next week (Mon/Tues) and then compare how it performs.

Really appreciate your comments!

 

[tantrayaan]

Hey folks - can anyone help me out here?

 

[Fairemont]

Writing quality looks good to me. Didn't read a ton since it's not my type of story, but you're off to a good start.

 

[tantrayaan]

Writing quality looks good to me. Didn't read a ton since it's not my type of story, but you're off to a good start.

Thank you!

 

[tantrayaan]

Latest chapter released.

New Chapter Drop – Threads of Fire and Flesh ?

Hey folks! Just uploaded Chapter 5 of Yantra Protocol.

"When purpose awakens, the body follows — but so do the eyes that want to break you."

This chapter sees Bharath pushed to his limits — on the pitch, in the locker room, and in his own skin. As his body changes faster than science can explain, his dreams with the Red-Silk Goddess grow more vivid... and more real. There's also some banter, tactics, Tamil mom wisdom, and a creeping sense that fame isn’t just opportunity — it’s surveillance.

Here’s a taste:

“I don’t want to be a tourist in someone else’s pain,” he whispered. “I don’t want to feel righteous just because I’m helping someone braver than me.”
But something else stirred beneath the guilt — a fire that neither the physio nor the prayers could explain.

Would love your thoughts — pacing, vibe, myth blend, anything that lands (or doesn’t). First-time writer trying to get better with each chapter.


Link to Chapter 5: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1566049/yantra-protocol/
Feedback = fuel.

 

[tantrayaan]

New chapter released...

Some mornings change you. Others just remind you how much is already changing.
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1566049/yantra-protocol/

Bharath wakes up different — not just because of a dream, but because the dream is starting to bleed into everything else. The day that follows brings quiet shifts, awkward first meetings, strange realizations, and a sense that something big is beginning to move beneath the surface.

“Some men chase dreams. I chase eggs,” he says.
But not even breakfast is simple anymore.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this one — what stood out, what you felt, and where you think it’s all headed.