First-Time Author Looking for Honest Feedback ?

[ab-ih]

Hi everyone! its lily here I just posted the first chapter of my original fantasy story All the Strings Are Connected, and I’d really appreciate some honest feedback — especially on emotional impact, pacing, and character interactions.

I’m trying to balance humor with ache, and I care deeply about how group dynamics and tension come across. I want to know: did anything feel off, too fast, or unclear? I’m open to blunt but constructive feedback — the kind that helps me grow.

Also, I’ll be honest… I’m a new author here. I’ve written many stories over the years, but I never had the courage to post them. I kept changing ideas constantly — that’s always been my struggle. This is the first time I’ve finally gathered the courage to share something publicly, and it means a lot to me.

One more thing: I’m not sure my book title All the Strings Are Connected really fits the story. It felt right at first, but now I’m questioning it. Have you ever felt that disconnect between your title and your story? If you’ve read my chapter, do you think the title works — or does it feel off to you too?

Thanks so much for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts — even a short reply would mean a lot!
link _ Dashboard | Scribble Hub

 

[MasterY001]

One, please add a link for convenience. Two, I'll check it out.
EDIT: Three, I think you pasted your story wrong. Most of the text hangs off the edge. It's practically unreadable on mobile. If you clean that up, I'll have another look.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

One, please add a link for convenience. Two, I'll check it out.
EDIT: Three, I think you pasted your story wrong. Most of the text hangs off the edge. It's practically unreadable on mobile. If you clean that up, I'll have another look.

Feels like a bot, sadly.

 

[MasterY001]

Feels like a bot, sadly.

It's the thought that counts

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

It's the thought that counts

Of course, you are right~. Let us hope for the best~.

 

[ab-ih]

Feels like a bot, sadly.

Hey, I get why it might’ve come off that way ?. I’m actually just a really introverted person, and I don’t socialize much — so posting this was kind of a big deal for me. I tried to sound clear and open, but maybe it ended up feeling too formal or stiff. I really do care about feedback and connecting with readers, even if I’m not great at expressing it casually. Thanks for being honest — I’ll try to keep it more relaxed next time.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Hey, I get why it might’ve come off that way ?. I’m actually just a really introverted person, and I don’t socialize much — so posting this was kind of a big deal for me. I tried to sound clear and open, but maybe it ended up feeling too formal or stiff. I really do care about feedback and connecting with readers, even if I’m not great at expressing it casually. Thanks for being honest — I’ll try to keep it more relaxed next time.

 

[OniKaniki]

Post your story link, not your dashboard link
Also, (forgive my beginner *ss), your blurb is just bad. i don't even understand what it is about. ye everything have good and bad side, the first sentence is just generic, God i lost count of how many ppl using that as blurb (how would i know? Bcause at first i also using that as my blurb, hehe). What is bold, dangerous about it? what your mc about? What is her personality? What is their goal? What is the dangerous?

There, just quick feed back. And dont throw adj each sentence like throwing hand( beautiful, delicate, quite, choose one of three; bold, dangerous, immposs..., choose one of three). I could see at first glance it's ai. I don't mind ai writing, just dont make it obvious.

 

[Racosharko]

Second half of chapter one is just an impenetrable wall of text with bad/no formatting.

1/10.

If this novel is a horse I would shoot it in the face.

 

[StrawMan25]

“All strings are connected.” - chap 1 : “Not Here to Connect” | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

The good news is that you can improve your writing immensely with a few simple changes.

1. Use complete sentences. I know you're trying to be dramatic, but it's harder for me to read. I see micro-sentences and single word sentences throughout SH and they're jarring.
2. I know you want to set everything up but get to the action a lot sooner. Readers need to know the question that the author is posing as soon as possible.
3. Use line break jumps between paragraphs. You can indent - but add a single line break between paragraphs.
4. The second part of the chapter was a wall of text and lacked any paragraphs. I stopped reading there.

 

[Worthy39]

Second half of chapter one is just an impenetrable wall of text with bad/no formatting.

1/10.

If this novel is a horse I would shoot it in the face.

Dang, savage...

 

[Racosharko]

Dang, savage...

ㄟ(▔ ,▔)ㄏ They asked for honest.

 

[Worthy39]

ㄟ(▔ ,▔)ㄏ They asked for honest.

I more meant that you would shoot a horse in the face if you gave that horse a 1/10.

 

[Racosharko]

would shoot a horse in the face if you gave that horse a 1/10.

Oh, if I put it like that, I dont mean the horse gets put down because of being 1/10.

It gets put down coz it infected, it is diseased and needed to be put down. We burn it with fire so no other living creature would could get with in 10 feet of this infection.

Being one out of ten is just a metric denoting the quality of the horse's performance, unrelated to the cancer to horse-kind the horse represents.

I hope this clarified what I meant.

 

[Eldoria]

I didn't read it. Honestly, the format (especially chapter 1) causes eye pain. You should provide a reader-friendly format. Some of my suggestions:
1. Break up giant paragraphs into smaller ones with a maximum of 3 sentences per paragraph.
2. Separate dialogue from description/exposition.
3. Subtitle each scene and provide smooth transitions with a few connecting sentences.

 

[ab-ih]

**“Hi everyone, thank you for taking the time to read my work. This is my very first attempt at writing, and it took a lot of courage to share it publicly. I didn’t expect praise or sympathy—just honest feedback that could help me grow. I know it’s not perfect, and I’m still learning, but I truly appreciate those who offered constructive advice with kindness.

If my writing isn’t your cup of tea, that’s completely okay. You’re free to stop reading at any point—no one’s being forced. I never intended to waste anyone’s time, and if it feels that way, I sincerely suggest not continuing with the chapters. I’d rather you spend your time on something that brings you joy.

I do hope we can keep things respectful. Words matter, and I’d like to hold onto the courage it took to write in the first place. Thanks again to those who gave thoughtful suggestions. I’m grateful for your time and your help.”**

 

[QuillandGraphite]

Hi! I'm new here on Scribble Hub, and it seems to me that you're new as well. I'd love to be friends with you so we can discover together how to get accustomed to this writing platform. (By the way, I'm not one of those graphic designer or book promoter scammers)
I'd love to know your favorite genres and your taste in books!

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

**“Hi everyone, thank you for taking the time to read my work. This is my very first attempt at writing, and it took a lot of courage to share it publicly. I didn’t expect praise or sympathy—just honest feedback that could help me grow. I know it’s not perfect, and I’m still learning, but I truly appreciate those who offered constructive advice with kindness.

If my writing isn’t your cup of tea, that’s completely okay. You’re free to stop reading at any point—no one’s being forced. I never intended to waste anyone’s time, and if it feels that way, I sincerely suggest not continuing with the chapters. I’d rather you spend your time on something that brings you joy.

I do hope we can keep things respectful. Words matter, and I’d like to hold onto the courage it took to write in the first place. Thanks again to those who gave thoughtful suggestions. I’m grateful for your time and your help.”**

Hey dont get discouraged, its a learning process.

Webnovels, even more so than traditional novels, need to have their paragraphs broken up more to ease in the digestion from your viewers.

1-3 sentences at most to get your thought across, then make a space for the next paragraph. Don't try to jam multiple thoughts within the same paragraph.

Be mindful of run on sentences, poor/lack of punctuation, and spelling.

And edit. For the love of god, edit your work. Read through it 3 times imo after you have finished your chapter, read it to yourself out loud if need be.

Does it sound right? Is what you have written, the story you want to present to your readers?

And keep improving, asking for feedback, and correcting your mistakes.

Writing is something everyone can do, writing well, takes time and effort. It is all a learning process though, so just keep at it.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

And with that last line, I now sound like my grandfather, 30 years ago. Lol

 

[ab-ih]

Thanks. I’m still figuring things out.

 

[Alski]

(By the way, I'm not one of those graphic designer or book promoter scammers)

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