First time actually posting the book I've been writing for a year or so now

[ImAtlas]

Looking for any feedback on the first chapter of a book ive been messing around with for quite awhile. Any feedback is welcome as I've never posted it for people online to read. Only select irl friends have read it before.

The Withered Bloom

Thank you and much love
-ImAtlas

 

[VanVeleca]

Read the first chapter: I don't really like that the very start has a 4th wall break rather than diving into the story. Was it supposed to be an author's note? In that case you should put the beginning in brackets (like this) or have a line separation

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like this or
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this