Read the first chapter, and know that the story isn't going to be for me.
That said, it's solid writing with a great flow between action, dialogue, and slight exposition. Nailed it there.
Criticisms? Only two because I only read the first chapter.
1. The chapter was too damn small bro! Give the hungry piranhas something to bite into and gnaw on!
2. Avoid the word 'said' after a sentence at all costs! Avoid it like the plague! Nothing stands out to me as a reader more than that gods damned phrase. It's even worse in an audiobook, totally ruins the immersion.
"You were always too dangerous, Ryojin," Seraphiel said, his voice tinged with something almost like regret. "For the sake of balance, you must be cast into the Abyss."
Use 'rumbled' or 'whispered' or 'grunted' or 'screamed' for all anyone will care, just do not use 'said', it's far too boring for awesome stories.
