Feed back for my chapter!

[LORRO]

Hello, I am Lorro and I am currently writing the Second Iteration; Revelations. I would like to ask for feedback. My goal is to become a good writer and for my stories to be enjoyable.

SECOND ITERATION; REVELATIONS

After the Red Death gets stranded in the mysterious void, he seeks to find his way back into the real world to get his revenge on the one who wronged him. However, unbeknownst to him, he is unable to escape on his own because of the monsters that inhabit this...

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[Rookieqw]

Hello! I wish you the best. You should post a link to your story.

 

[LORRO]

Hello! I wish you the best. You should post a link to your story.

Thanks for reminding me, friend

 

[Humanistheart]

Sorry this is super nitpicky of me, but... your chapter title, 'land of metal and steel'? Steel is a metal. It's like saying the land of food and bread. I don't know. Seems redundant to me.

 

[LORRO]

Well, I agree with you. I thought of the title in less than a minute and that's because it really isn't a chapter. It's more of an introduction to the first act of the story. I know I'm stoopid ?. EDIT 1: Now thinking back, you're right. I really appreciate your help <3

 

[BlikBlind]

A powerful narrative that blends introspection, redemption, and tragedy with remarkable depth. The protagonist's voice feels raw and honest, while the dialogue with the Anomaly raises profound ethical questions without forcing answers. The final twist is devastating yet poetic, closing the arc with emotional weight. An excellent example of emotional science fiction with a soul.