Fairemont's Fair & Friendly Fiction Feedback

[Fairemont]

Hello!

I have some free time, and by some, I mean a lot. I normally spend it just refreshing pages hoping my view count will go up, so I figure I can do something a little more productive.

I will volunteer to provide feedback on your fiction. Some exclusions may apply.

I won't read anything AI-generated or AI-assisted because you've already chosen your path.

I can be fickle, I can be picky, I will at least try and read the first chapter at minimum. I probably won't read more than a dozen unless I really like it. I will then provide my thoughts in whatever form I feel like. This could be a few thoughts, some sort of suggestions here and there, or I might go a little overboard and throw out extensive alternatives to whatever you wrote as examples of what I think could be done better.

If I try reading your story and I do not like it enough to finish the first chapter, I will provide feedback on what I do read and the reasons I do not like it. It may be as simple as being too far outside of my reading preferences.

Provide a link, at minimum. If you don't I am not going to go hunting for it. I am lazy.

 

[SuperMushroom]

Hello!!!

I would really appreciate a read!

Can You Conquer The World With Martial Arts?

In a world not unlike our own, the rapid progress of martial arts had empowered a small group of rebels with supernatural abilities and fostered an unprecedented uprising. The long lived Emperor Taizong's vast army had...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Representing_Tromba]

I've joined just about every other feedback thread so I might as well. Let me know what you think!

The Supernatural Case of an Accidental Time Traveler Volume 1

Ever consider going back in time? Is it on purpose and to a specific time? Well, not this time in The Supernatural Case of an Accidental Time Traveler. This story is the first in a series of time-travel escapades with various supernatural and mythological undertones scattered throughout the...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Fairemont]

I've joined just about every other feedback thread so I might as well. Let me know what you think!

The Supernatural Case of an Accidental Time Traveler Volume 1

Ever consider going back in time? Is it on purpose and to a specific time? Well, not this time in The Supernatural Case of an Accidental Time Traveler. This story is the first in a series of time-travel escapades with various supernatural and mythological undertones scattered throughout the...

www.scribblehub.com

I know you've been getting a lot of reviews lately so you'll probably get a little lower priority than some others. :P

 

[Representing_Tromba]

I know you've been getting a lot of reviews lately so you'll probably get a little lower priority than some others. :P

Fair

 

[Fairemont]

Fair

That's me!

Hello!!!

I would really appreciate a read!

Can You Conquer The World With Martial Arts?

In a world not unlike our own, the rapid progress of martial arts had empowered a small group of rebels with supernatural abilities and fostered an unprecedented uprising. The long lived Emperor Taizong's vast army had...

www.scribblehub.com

So, I have read the first chapter and part of chapter two, and I have a question for you: how much time would you say you spent on chapter one vs chapter two?

 

[FieryLou]

What does count as AI-Assisted? Grammarly would fall under that too , wouldn't it?

 

[Fairemont]

What do count as AI-Assisted? Grammarly would fall under that too , wouldn't it?

I dont know. If someone believes their work is too heavily AI-assisted that that message scares them away then it suffices. If it doesn't, I'll probably at least look.

 

[SuperMushroom]

That's me!

So, I have read the first chapter and part of chapter two, and I have a question for you: how much time would you say you spent on chapter one vs chapter two?

I have no idea! It's been a while...

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Hello!

I have some free time, and by some, I mean a lot. I normally spend it just refreshing pages hoping my view count will go up, so I figure I can do something a little more productive.

I will volunteer to provide feedback on your fiction. Some exclusions may apply.

I won't read anything AI-generated or AI-assisted because you've already chosen your path.

I can be fickle, I can be picky, I will at least try and read the first chapter at minimum. I probably won't read more than a dozen unless I really like it. I will then provide my thoughts in whatever form I feel like. This could be a few thoughts, some sort of suggestions here and there, or I might go a little overboard and throw out extensive alternatives to whatever you wrote as examples of what I think could be done better.

If I try reading your story and I do not like it enough to finish the first chapter, I will provide feedback on what I do read and the reasons I do not like it. It may be as simple as being too far outside of my reading preferences.

Provide a link, at minimum. If you don't I am not going to go hunting for it. I am lazy.

Me! Me!

Schwarz -‖- Der Wille zur Macht

Si Vis Pacem -‖- Para Bellum [Naruto FanFic]

 

[Fairemont]

I have no idea! It's been a while...

I was curious because chapter one and two felt like they were written by two completely different authors. It gave me a feeling that you spent way more time refining chapter one in order to handle the job of first impressions.

Unfortunately, I think you went overboard. The writing style of chapter one spends a little too much time meandering and describing stuff and not enough time getting things done. The pace is about 50% slower than Id have liked. Don't get me wrong, it is written very well, technically sound, and has great prose, but I think it is too heavy handed and would have been better easing into that descriptive style after the first chapter.

Now... chapter two? Chapter two felt almost perfect. Less polished, so a few hiccups in places, but the pace of content, the dialogue, the descriptive elements, all of it was at the right pace and very comfortable to read.

That being said, I think I'll be reading more. Maybe not the entire thing, but it is in my genre specialization, so that helps, and I enjoy the way you write. I think your story should be quite popular and successful among Wuxia enthusiasts so long as it maintains the quality in chapter one and two throughout.

Good job!

P.S. if you're looking for things to read, you might enjoy my story.

Me! Me!

Schwarz -‖- Der Wille zur Macht

Si Vis Pacem -‖- Para Bellum [Naruto FanFic]

You have many ratings and reviews. I enjoy Naruto content so I might peek at that one, but I will probably prioritize people who have no reviews (if I get more requests, that is).

I do have plenty of free time during the week so it's just a matter of time.

 

[Ahrihn]

ooo! Feedback please, it would be greatly appreciated!

The Shadow Guard and Her Princess

When the emperor thrusts the seven imperial heirs into a struggle for the throne, Shadow Guard Three becomes the Third Princess’s only knife. But having spent her whole life killing for the throne, the deadly imperial competition drives away any chance Three might have for a happy ending. With...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Fairemont]

ooo! Feedback please, it would be greatly appreciated!

The Shadow Guard and Her Princess

When the emperor thrusts the seven imperial heirs into a struggle for the throne, Shadow Guard Three becomes the Third Princess’s only knife. But having spent her whole life killing for the throne, the deadly imperial competition drives away any chance Three might have for a happy ending. With...

www.scribblehub.com

Historical tag with an ancient China tag. Looks like it is in my specialty. Its on my list now.

 

[Ahrihn]

Historical tag with an ancient China tag. Looks like it is in my specialty. Its on my list now.

Yippee!! I hope you enjoy!

 

[yasa]

Well, uhhhhhhhhh, here

Ehem. Since I've already taken some reviews from Tempokai and in Stoneink's, you could have mine in low prio also. Up to you tbh. I'm happy with anything that I'll get.

 

[SuperMushroom]

I was curious because chapter one and two felt like they were written by two completely different authors. It gave me a feeling that you spent way more time refining chapter one in order to handle the job of first impressions.

Unfortunately, I think you went overboard. The writing style of chapter one spends a little too much time meandering and describing stuff and not enough time getting things done. The pace is about 50% slower than Id have liked. Don't get me wrong, it is written very well, technically sound, and has great prose, but I think it is too heavy handed and would have been better easing into that descriptive style after the first chapter.

Now... chapter two? Chapter two felt almost perfect. Less polished, so a few hiccups in places, but the pace of content, the dialogue, the descriptive elements, all of it was at the right pace and very comfortable to read.

That being said, I think I'll be reading more. Maybe not the entire thing, but it is in my genre specialization, so that helps, and I enjoy the way you write. I think your story should be quite popular and successful among Wuxia enthusiasts so long as it maintains the quality in chapter one and two throughout.

Good job!

P.S. if you're looking for things to read, you might enjoy my story.

Thanks for giving it a try!

There's not much I can tell about my mindset from back then anymore. It really has been a while!

I feel like it does get better once I have all the pieces in place and I start telling stories with them, though there's never been much for me to base this feeling on other than my own gut...

So if you do decide to keep going, absolutely let me know what you think!!!

 

[Fairemont]

Thanks for giving it a try!

There's not much I can tell about my mindset from back then anymore. It really has been a while!

I feel like it does get better once I have all the pieces in place and I start telling stories with them, though there's never been much for me to base this feeling on other than my own gut...

So if you do decide to keep going, absolutely let me know what you think!!!

I'll definitely be reading more. Might be a few chapters before I can provide more meaningful feedback beyond what ive given so far.

However, I could give special mention the introduction of Wei Qing. There was some good stuff there. Im not sad to see him, or someone like him, go, but it is sad to have sent such a good set up to an early grave.

Ironically, I have a character in a very similar role who also uses finger strikes a pressure point attacks! XD

 

[ReiHayashi]

I'll just leave mine here I don't mind if you do mine last, just trying to gather as much feedback as possible so that I can better edit my story when I'm done writing it all out

 

[Fairemont]

I'll just leave mine here I don't mind if you do mine last, just trying to gather as much feedback as possible so that I can better edit my story when I'm done writing it all out

Yours is on my list to read already. I'll be reading it sometime, but Im not sure what feedback I'll be able to provide that you haven't already gotten from the others. :3

 

[StoneInky]

Fairmont is here tooooo! Yayyy! We have a whole critic(?) family?

Anyway, will throw my novel into the pile once I'm done with it lmaooo.